Liar Liar/Quotes

Cop: You know why I pulled you over?
Fletcher: Depends on how long you were following me!
Cop: Why don't we just take it from the top?
Fletcher: Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and speeding!

Guy in the Washroom: What the hell are you doing?
Fletcher: I'm kicking my ass! Do you mind?!

Secretary: Boss, it's Snake. He just knocked over an ATM, at knife-point this time, and he wants your legal advice.
Fletcher: Stop breaking the law, asshole!