Kingdom of Loathing/WMG

Kingdom of Loathing

== Ascension is a scam perpetuated by the Council of Loathing and the Naughty Sorceress working together. == Once you beat the Naughty Sorceress and free King Ralph; the Council will no longer be in power (something they comment on.) You are then pushed to "ascend" which results in the Reset Button being pushed. Sure, you may have some extra power if you did the previous Ascension run at a high enough difficulty, but for a while the Council and the Naughty Sorceress are back in power.

There are four different political powers trying to control the players, with each having its own agenda in regards to the Naughty Sorceress and Ascension.

There is of course the Naughty Sorceress the current controlling power in the world, that would rather you not get in the way of her plans. If you defeat her she would like you to ascend so she can put herself back into power. There is then the Council of Loathing, that desires the Naughty Sorceress to be defeated but don't want King Ralph to be set free, as without him or her they are now in power and happy. Should you go and free the King then they would like you to ascend so perhaps they can find a new chance to get back into power. Then of we have King Ralph that wants the players to set him free and NEVER come back (unless he gets trapped again). When he's in power there is no need for Adventurers and they only would disrupt his hold on power. Lastly there is the Penguin Mafia that tries to control as much of the meat economy as they can. Presently they like the players to not Ascend as it means that they are bringing more meat into the Kingdom. The more meat people have the more likely they are to spend it on extravagancies that they provide.

• So in conclusion:
  • Council: Wants you to ascend and return.
  • Sorceress: wants you to give up, or ascend.
  • King Ralph XI: wants you to stay in the kingdom, i.e. Aftercore
  • Mafia: Aftercore (you lose access to your meat at the start of an ascension, so you can't spend it.)

== The Guild wants the Telescope Coupon on level 500 of the Basement of Fernswarthy's Tower. == As opposed to that training manual you find. But hey, it literally costs millions of currency to get that, so finders keepers.

Every adventurer is some sort of experimental lizardman.

Think about it for a moment. Missing fingers, for example. Entirely temporary-- they just grow right back. Missing kidney also seems to wear off, but that might be a bug. Either way, we seem to have some sort of regenerative power. The obvious conclusion is that the Council has created a race of superpowerful lizardmen which they use as a workforce and as an organ farm-- every rollover, they take out all of our organs. It's okay, we have a redundant set, and the other set grows back by next rollover.

This may overlap with the "Ascension is a scam" theory, as it's a good way to keep the lizard people from getting bored.

• After all, lizardmen are easily bored, and can even turn apathetic. So what does that make the lizardmen in Daily Dungeon? Former adventurers? Or the base species the adventurers were created from?
  • One problem with this is that all creatures apparently can regenerate: The head of the Elf Revolutionaries mentioned that it would take a week to regrow his arm, a prospect that only mildly annoyed him at best.
  • There's also the fact that, if left unplayed long enough, accounts (characters) will be erased. Does this mean that the characters die of boredom?
    • Sometime ago, this was removed from the maintenance policy. Accounts no longer get deleted from inactivity.
• Half-Eaten Brain also wears off completely after a few adventures. More to the point, nothing in the entire game, including huge explosions, bone-pulverizing monster attacks, etc. is capable of doing any permanent damage to you; just use a few potions or rest for a while and you're back in the game. Something highly potent seems to be at work here.
  • The Hourai Elixir could be involved.

All adventurers in the Kingdom are half-siblings.

They all have the same archaeologist as a father, after all.

• That archaeologist certainly got around.
• Not necessarily; there could have been a very, VERY large group of archaeologists who solved the puzzle together. Or, fitting in with the theory above, his notes are all fake and created by the Council.
• But the Naughty Sorceress is their mother. Clearly that's a Sarcastic Confession.

The Hermit is Frank Vivala, in cahoots with the NS

Think about it. Frank Vivala disappeared through a temporal rift (alluded to as a possibility on the KoL Wiki) and, finding another person who wanted to overthrow the King, formulated a plot. The "worthless" objects he accepts are really magical talismans which create horrible monsters, which the Scream Queen creates to cause havoc. By trading trinkets which increase monster power (and hence adventurer power) for items which help adventurers finish quests, he not only provides the Kingdom with a steady stream of monsters but avoids creating suspicion of the conspiracy.

The game takes place in the Dark Tower multiverse

From what I know, the series ends with Roland ending up exactly where he started, but slightly better equipped for the events afterwards. Sound familiar?

Hodgman and his Lieutenants are all aspects of Nyarlathotep.

Hodgman is clearly the epitome of insanity and all t/he/y requires to Back from the Dead is for the sewers to reflood; something clans want to happen. All the while, they read more and more of his Tome of Eldritch Lore and acquire his artifacts and becoming more and more Hobo.

• Note how Hodgman somehow wrested an aspect of Satan away in the form of his Hot Elemental Lieutenant; Ol' Scratch.
  • On the other hand, Narlyhotep's a wuss.

In that case, the Slime Mother is Shub-Neggorath.

A shapeless blobby thingie that spawns indescribable horrors who are so profane, they get their own damage type that bypasses normal elemental resistance? That sounds pretty Lovecraftian.

The True Holy MacGuffin is still out there, hidden in Seaside Town.

Just because you accidentally burn down the wooden model of Seaside Town doesn't mean that is what was supposed to happen. Ed's MacGuffin that he was personally guarding and the one that his staff and map pointed to are two different things. You are "digging in the wrong place."

• Let's assume for a moment that the beam of light landed on the Council building. This would support the "Ascension is a scam" theory due to the Council having the MacGuffin all along. Although this would bring up the question of why the Council would send you on the quest anyway.
  • Keep in mind that the Holy MacGuffin quest is the single longest quest in the entire game (possibly even longer than Wossname Award for the next one). The Council would want to keep you busy for as long as possible and test your abilities to their fullest extent to support their dual intentions of remaining in power for as long as possible in any given time warp (because they get reset when you do, clearing them of any extra mansions or yachts they may have used tax payer money to acquire) and trying to develop the ultimate super-adventurer weapon.

The ultimate prize for the new Nemesis Quest are a pair of Legendary Epic Pants.

Your guild member says that the Legendary Epic Hat (what was the old reward for the old quest) isn't the artifact they were looking for. The basic outfit formula is generally Hat, Weapon, and Pants. You forge the Legendary Epic Weapon and get the Legendary Epic Hat as a reward, so the last reward will be Legendary Epic Pants, creating Legendary Epic Class outfits.

• • Jossed. The Epic Pants are the third-to-last reward, obtained after defeating your Nemesis a second time. The ultimate reward is the Ultimate Legendary Epic Weapon, obtained at the start of the battle with your Nemesis's One-Winged Angel form, and the Epic Accessory, completing the outfit. But yes, an Epic Outfit is the final goal. (Not included in the outfit--a class-specific familiar, dropped by the fourth assassin.

The next NS version (I.E. NS 11 and NS 13) will raise maximum level to...

23. If you highlight the text just after a notification about gaining twenty three items, (Or do the same for Warehouse 23 items) you will discover the hidden text FNORD. This makes the number important, though not as much as 11 and 13. The one after that will be NS 37 (In a Row?), as it is the only other number with a notification bonus. After that, there will be no more NS version updates.

• • Skully said over the radio that the goal is to have NS 15, which also goes along with the fact that level 15 is the last skill you can get from your guild.
    • Skully has also said over the same radio station that there was such a backlash from updating to NS 13, that any massive increase in mandatory content is less positively regarded by the staff. His most recent comment on the topic was stating that he's not sure if there will ever be an NS 15 or not.

Your Adventurer causes the Naughty Sorceress to become Naughty.

23. So you go back in time to the The Nearby Plains in the Distant Past, and you interrupt Fernswarthy's class on the Ethics of Magic. Now, the Naughty Sorceress is in the class. She spends the rest of the class daydreaming about that strange man/woman who stumbled in, so she doesn't learn how to use magic ethically, becoming the very threat that Adventurer was tasked with defeating, who accidentally created her in the first place.

• Further, this image sticks with the Naughty Sorceress for at least a few days afterwards, possibly longer, eventually turning into a romantic fantasy. Eventually, the adventurer's archaeologist father, bearing a heavy resemblance to the adventurer, stumbles across the Naughty Sorceress in his quest for the MacGuffin. The two travel together for a brief time, have a quick fling, and then part ways. Nine months later...
  • ... she meets the love of her life?
    • Yes, for the second and first times respectively.

The Kingdom is caught in a loose Groundhog Day Loop.

There's some level of continuity, since it's acknowledged shortly before you reincarnate that the Naughty Sorceress has kidnapped King Ralph XI again rather than just plain kidnapped him, and that "it's a lot like the Naughty Sorceress had never been defeated", not to mention actual one-time events like, for example, the Grey Plague, but nobody ever mentions any of the stuff that happened in your past life - or one of your past lives, or all of your past lives - like, say, a war between the hippies and the frat boys of the Mysterious Island of Mystery. (Most quest events could plausibly happen more than once, particularly if you apply a bit of Fan Wank, but that's the one where it would be really Egregious for nobody to bring it up.) Obviously not everything's reset, though; the Adventurer's class and therefore backstory usually changes, they arrive in the Kingdom already possessing at least one skill from a past life (in most cases), and so forth.

• The different time missions via the Empty Agua De Vida Bottles (Bacteria Age, Barbarian Age, and the Future) explain that "Time is a Donut." After the Big Crunch, a Big Bang occurs and time starts over much like it did the previous....time. Thus, Ascension results in Reincarnation, into yourself in the next turn of the wheel donut.

Renatus C. Bigg, Archaeologist Extraordinaire is trying to uncover Hidden Fun Stuff.

He doesn't care who gets the artifacts, he just wants you to dig it all out. There's undead corpses of wyrms, bats, serpents, (who come to life if you put them back together, and even if you fight, they still escape plot-wise) and demonic relics that are being uncovered. It's just going to get worse.

• So far, so good. The third layer has an ancient stone table with a Demon Name on it and a Demon Medallion that burns a tattoo that lets you contain the power of said Demon Name without damaging yourself. Summoning the Demon Name results in a comment that "the army isn't ready yet."
• This guy thinks you're on to something. Unless you are that guy.
  • Also: The large number of bones found in such a small area make this a Clown Car Grave. The latest version of Dwarf Fortress (for those of you who still don't know what we're talking about) has the HFS in, essentially, an underground Clown Car Base. See the next WMG.
• Confirmed. It is this year's Halloween content. Biggs was actually a Necromancer in disguise, and the resurrected skeletons you helped him with invaded Seaside Town; and regardless of how well you fought, trashed the Museum and went back to the Underworld.

KoL is suddenly and for no apparent reason a sequel to Dwarf Fortress.

We're about to find the Hidden Fun Stuff. A major portion of it collapsed somehow (probably Dwarven Ingenuity) and Bigg's Dig goes through that part.

• Clearly the Volcanometeor Event is related to Project: **** The World.

The Game Grid Arcade games are all parts of the timeline.

Much like the Empty Agua de Vida Bottle, "playing" a game simply boots you into someone in the past/present/future's mind.

• Dungeon Fist! is clearly is the time of Kakrox.
• Fighters of Fighting is modern day, since all of the wrestlers/fighters already exist and have their own trading cards and are in the KWE.
• Meteoid, Demonstar, and Space Trip all exist in the same future. Meteoid is remote enough not to have much effect on the galaxy; but the Demonstar and its agents are all Murderbots, who serve/are affected by the Evil Source.
  • The Evil Source becomes infected by Cyrus the Virus and becomes Mai'Lii. (Its death is both the Sixth Element and the Omega Bomb hitting it at the same time.) Note that both the empty Agua Glass Future Space Fleet and the Space Trip TPS have the Hipsterians.
    • Beating these gives the Game Grid Arcade access to equipment similar to Ascension; related to whichever memory you entered. Some of this gear is sold back to you through tickets.

The Council lied; the Kingdom was always like this.

When you beat the Naughty Sorceress, it is revealed that the monsters won't stop fighting until you leave in a permanent manner. However, you are told this by the Council, who may or may not be trusted.

• Considering how Krakox and Your Future Descendant also have to constantly fight people; this seems to be right.

It has been shown that meat has been used as currency for some time before you arrived. Meat is generally obtained by beating up others. Most likely, the Kingdom is made of Blood Knights, or waring factions (frat boys and hippies, knob goblins and knolls) who just love to fight each other. the fact that everyone seems to have a Healing Factor helps things a bit.

Mr. Mination is not the Crimbomination.

This is what the Crimbomination looked like in 2009. There is no picture of him in Crimbo 2010 yet, but he is described as "...he's got two heads and his skin is green, but other than that, he's your basic executive-looking guy." He doesn't look like a former elf, and it seems that he has regrown the second head he had before The Spirit of Crimbo removed it from him. He also doesn't seem to act like the Leader of Crimbo (who is forced to give everything and receive nothing, as noted in '09). Mr. Mination is an impostor, and the real Crimbomination will appear by the 25th.

• The Crimbomination was his father. Call him "Mr. Mination".
  • When he's reverted by Uncle Crimbo at the end of the event, he reduces to just six elves, whereas he was made up of hundreds in '09. Perhaps he's been "losing parts" constantly ever since his first appearance, started by the Spirit of Crimbo readings in '09. If so, losing all but six component elves would easily explain the looks differences.

Vampire Hunter G is a a sneaky diabolist or a ghoul.

Who somehow figured a way of consuming vampire hearts for his fix without the negative side effects. The fact that you can drink the leftover vampire blood with little issue is your crazy half-lizard genetics.

Helga San-Torakiri (From Lars the Cyberian) is the future Naughty sorceress.

I just made this connection because she is the leader of a race of warrior women, and when we first see her, she is on a dais.

Every adventurer actually inhabits a separate universe.

Hence why things one adventurer does doesn't affect every other adventurer in the Kingdom. One of the Crimbo documentaries implies this.

The Lunar Elves' physical bodies died; and we're seeing holographic/program copies.

Hence the Tron refs. You're not really on the moon; you're in a computer simulation in that booth. As they were dying after the comet hit the moons; they downloaded their minds into a cloaked ship and sent it to Loathing. The radiation and monsters are program degradation. The 'transporter transponder' changes your body to be able to temporarily enter the simulation.

• Being able to take items back isn't strange; considering your ability to take items from dreams, hallucinations, reincarnations, etc.

The Kingdom of Loathing is a touristic resort.

An Adventurer Is You is their advertising slogan. You can go there and enjoy an RPG themed adventure. You create your character, and do the adventure proposed by the kigndom. The Kingdom is sustained through the sales of Mr. Accessory. The council, the Naughty Sorceress, King Ralph XI, and all character, and human or human-like enemies are actors, the monsters are tamed animals, and you can enjoy an extensive Lampshade Hanging, absurdist, parodic parade. And shout outs. LOTS of them. Once you complete the quest, you get the option to... Start again!

Loathing is filled with Places Of Power.

Some creatures appear in zones that they are not native to. They are much weaker there than in their home. For example, the Booze Giant is not nearly as tough as the Giants in the castle, and the Frat boy in the Barroom Brawl is weaker than the one in the Orcish Frat House. But the most notable example were the Hobelves. The Hobelves in Hobopolis were as tough as anything else there, requiring Aftercore-level gear and strength to beat. The ones that crawled out of the sewer went down much easier, possibly easier than the Crimbco monsters. Outside of Hobopolis, Hoboes drop like flies.

The Traveling Trader travels in more ways than one.

In the Seal Clubber Nemesis quest, you acquire Krakrox's Loincloth, which states that Krakrox was either a Seal Clubber himself, or at least similar enough to count. When you adventure as Krakrox in your ancestral memories, he uses a sword. A Seal Clubber can use a sword as a club, but only with a skill learned from the Traveling Trader. So, for Krakrox to have had this skill, the trader must actually be a Time-Traveling Trader.

• This would also explain why he's called the "traveling" trader despite always appearing in the same spot on seemingly random days.

The Trapzor is more important to the Kingdom than we are told.

Most quests get progressively more important the higher level they are. However, in between stopping an immense evil from being unleashed upon the Nearby Plains and saving an entire Barony, you help out one, unimportant old man, the Leet Trapzor. He has access to Penguin Skins (when all penguins are intelligent mmafiosi) Hippo Skins (Hippos are rare and never fought) and Yak Skins (never referenced otherwise). He is the only known exporter aside from the Travelling Trader, who only appears intermittently. What if he is responsible for the Loathing Economy?

The Logic Behind the Elements.

A quick look at why elements are weak to one another.

• Hot > Cold: melting. Hot > Spooky: scary monsters always die to fire.
• Cold > Stench: freezing things keeps them fresh and nice-smelling. Cold > Sleaze: sleazy people hate getting the cold shoulder
• Stench > Hot: heat worsens bad smells. Stench > Spooky...no idea.
  • Most "spooky" creatures seem to be old fashioned and well groomed(Spookyraven's Manor especially), so they're probably easily disgusted despite being decayed themselves.
• Spooky > Cold: fear makes you lose your cool. Spooky > Sleaze: based on a horror movie cliche.
• Sleaze > Hot: being hot puts you at the mercy of sleaze. Sleaze > Stench...hmm, need to work on that one.
  • Certains smells, even ones usually regarded as foul, are said to be aphrodisiacs. Take that as you will.

Avatar of Jarlsburg will have us fighting The Avatar of Boris. Avatar of Sneaky Pete will have us fighting The Avatar of Jalrsburg.

We know that Sneaky Pete hated Boris because his boorish nature was off putting to women, making it hard for SP to woo them. That is why he is the End Boss to Avatar of Boris. The, the other two avatar paths will have you fighting the other two avatars. Possible reasons could be that Boris saw Jarlsburg as a huge nerd, and wants to give him a terminal swirly, and Jarlsburg hated SP for all of the chicks he got.

Further Avatar Classes

The Avatar of Sneaky Pete will feature the skill trees of "Crusing"(Combo-based dance attacks, similar to the disco bandit), "Schmoozing"(Charismatic buffs and debuffs) and "Boozin"(Similar to Boris's feasting). It will also use his suit as his familiar(Which can be decorated to act as a fairy, leprechaun, or potato), will restrict his eating to 5, but boost his boozing(As per usual). He will also be forced to always adventure with his off-hand basket, which provides a moxie and item-drop bonus

• The Avatar of Jarlsberg will have the trees of Mysticism(Damaging Spells), Madness(Self-buffs), and... Meteorology. To summon up delicious clouds. His "Familiar" is a former student that he accidentally turned into a horrible squid monster that can act as a Starfish, Volleyball, or Lime. To compensate for the lack of spleen items, Jarlsberg has both his stomach and liver reduced by five, while boosting his spleen to 25. He always has to keep his pan on-hand, which gives him a passive MP-regen and a spell bonus.

The need for Ascension can be traced back to Ed the Undying and/or Lord Spookyraven.

Ed the Undying is immortal, and is still alive when you beat him. Once he pulls himself back together, he'll be right as rain. And we're not sure what sort of Ancient Forbidden Unspeakable Evil kept Lord Spookyraven alive, but it may allow him to come back once you're not looking? One or both of them recover, and since you are no longer around (having already jumped through the Astral Gash), they get to work bringing the Sorceress back to life. Then they bring back all of the other bosses. Then they start causing trouble again, and it's like you were never there. Now you have to come back to set thing right.