Jackie Chan Adventures/Funny

• In "Project A, For Astral," Jackie trying to prove to Captain Black that Jade (who was possessed by Shendu at the moment) is "evil." Jackie's expressions and gestures make it even better.

Jackie: I'll prove it to you! (Beat, then he grabs a guy in a Melvin Moose costume) WHAT'S THE MOOSE'S NAME?! THE NAME?!!
Shendu: Urgh...
Jade (in astral form): I'll give ya a hint. Another word for wedgie.
Jackie: You can't name it, can you?! (pushes moose away) You're evil, YOU'RE EVIL!!

• From the same episode:

Guy in Moose Costume: Ok, now smiiiile for the camera!
Possessed Jade: Soon I will devour your soul.

Guy in Moose Costume: *gasps* *sobs*

• This exchange between Tohru and Hak Foo in Season Two.

Hak Foo: Yin-Yang, the power of balance! You will be unable to knock me ov-
Tohru: NYAR! *decks him* Spiritual balance, Hak FOOL.

• • Which is immediately followed by...

Uncle: *kicks Hak Foo away without even looking at him* YOU ARE BLOCKING MY LIGHT!

• • Uncle is a gold-mine for these.

Uncle: The hand is quicker than the eye
(Slow Motion as Uncle moves his hands about. Uncle kicks bad person in the face)
Uncle: But you should have been watching the foot.

• • Another Tohru and Hak Foo exchange.

Hak Foo: Minnow wallops whale!
Tohru: I'm sorry, what was that last part?
Hak Foo: I said minnow-
[Tohru charges into Hak Foo knocking Hak Foo into the wall. Speaking in a daze]
Hak Foo: What was that last part?

• "What rock...is the legless reptile under?"
• Finn's dream sequence about the Dark Hand starting a band, only to get beaten up by Jackie anyway.

Finn: But...we're not even doing anything wrong!
Jackie: You are off-key. *punch*

• How about that episode in which an Oni mask gets broken in half, with one of them sticking to Valmont and the other to Jade? It's funny how she tries to resist the murderous impulse of her Oni half.

...[Jackie's] brain's starting to get smelly.

• Why does Tohru make his Heel Face Turn at the end of season one? Jackie told him there were doughnuts at Section 13.
  • Being thrown out of building by Shendu probably helped. That and he was most likely sick of the treatment he got from the rest of the Dark Hand.
    • True, but the doughnuts are the reason he gives - and the expression on his face suggests he's completely serious.
• Never. Mock. The cookie.
  • Not to mention the hilarious comeback in Season 3. "Never. Mock. The sock."
• On a plane in-fight, Jade kicks a man, knocking him unconscious.

Jade: "I'm Jackie Chan... and you're the pilot."

• Captain Black: (Re: an Evil Twin) "Let's go kick my butt."
• I am quite fond of the scene where Hak Foo (the king of metaphorical attack names) acquires the pig talisman and begins yelling "Heat-Beam Eye Blasts!" every five seconds.
  • The best part is the first time he says it, before looking at the talisman and looking completely befuddled.

Hak Foo: Heat-Beam Eye Blasts! ... Heat-beam eye blasts?

• • Speaking of Hak Foo, in his first episode, we have this gem:

Hak Foo: Angry crow takes flight! (jumps at Uncle)
Uncle: Thank you for sharing, angry crow!
(Uncle knocks Hak down with one kick)

• • • Hak Foo gets apt revenge seconds later.

Hak Foo: Elephant thrusts its leg! (floors Uncle with a punch) I meant fist.

• Then there's Jade's Crowning Moment of Funny: Jackie pushes a button on the secret agent's briefcase, which unfolds into a giant glider plane...and promptly flies away, leaving them stranded on the side of a volcano and alerting the Mooks to their presence.

Jade: See? This is why we can't buy you nice things.

• How about in the clip show episode when things really start to speed up?

Jade: I think I'm gonna hurl.
Uncle: Uncle becoming very dizzy...

• Jackie rescuing Uncle from Hsi Wu from the top of a water tower. At the moment, Hsi Wu is trying to get Uncle to uncurse his broken tail, and his goons have just arrived with Uncle's books, having been sent all the way across town to get them at Uncle's insistence. Uncle notices Jackie coming up behind Hsi Wu, so he delays. ("These are not my reading glasses!") Hsi Wu, finally fed up, is preparing to strike at him when Jackie throws him off the tower.

Jackie: Uncle! Run!
Uncle: (looks to one side, then the other) Where to?

• Good Jackie's reaction to being kidnapped and forced into a car:

"Are those seats real leather? (cries) Oh, the poor cows!"

• Pretty much all of "The Chan That Knew Too Much". Especially this bit:

Magister: Thou knoweth too much!

Jackie: NO WE DON'T!

• • He ends up in their bathroom briefly. "He is privy to our privy!"
  • Not to mention the Magisters always conveniently finding him as he tries to call for help.

Magister: Thou has fax-ed our insignia!
Jackie: It didn't go through!

• Jackie is undercover in prison. When he gets his one phone call:

Jackie: Chinchilla. (Beat) What do you mean, "What's a chinchilla?" That's the password!

• • Then there's the bit where Jade turns Jackie into a chinchilla with the monkey talisman, just to see what one was.
  • Later in that episode, Jackie, as per tradition:

Jackie: Jade, stay here.
Jade: Tch...in a prison?
Cue Jackie's frustrated look.

• • At the end, after they've just beaten the bad guys, the prison guards show up, grab Jackie, and drag him to solitary confinement. Jackie begs for help, only for Jade, Uncle, and Tohru to do a Shrug Take and walk away.
• "The Chi Of The Vampire" is pretty much non-stop laughter (well, after the introduction of said vampire and how he extracts your chi at least). Some highlights include: Jade switching her chi with Uncle (obtaining certain... abrasive personality traits), and Tohru getting some of Jade's chi (and turning moe - complete with big eyes and exuberant personality). But then, Uncle is bitten and Jade uses her Uncle chi to put a holding spell on him, saying that he cannot move until it is removed.

Jackie: *Approaches the completely still Uncle and leans in close. There is a brief beat and then...*
Uncle: You are DOOMED!
Jackie: AUGH!
Jade: *In Uncle's duh sort of voice* One more thing! He can still talk.
Tohru: *Crossing arms and pouting* Shoulda put that thing over his mouth.

• • That's not even getting into Uncle's Renfield behavior during the final fight. Jade's discovery that in order to defeat the vampire, he must have a mushroom from a graveyard put into his left sock, and then have said sock thrown into the river (Jackie's reaction: "...you're making this up,") has Uncle lying on the ground completely frozen (with his arms in the most ridiculous position), saying things like "Is that your sock, master?" and begging him to take the others' "delicious chiiiii..." complete with Uncle's slight increase in pitch at the end. Classic!
• "Shell Game" had a nice moment when Jackie defeats Ratso's crane and confronts him directly.

Ratso: (raises arms) Uncle!
Jackie: Where? (looks around in panic)

• • Another interaction between Ratso and Jackie, from "Enter the Viper":

Ratso: Chan!
Jackie: You! Uh...Dark Hand guy!

• The episode where they all went to Hollywood.

Jade: Hey look, The Three Stooges!
Ratso: (he, Chow, and Finn look up excitedly) Where!?
Jade: (steals their map and runs) Duh!

• From "Queen of the Shadowkhan"

Jade: Help! Anybody!
(Shadowkhan appear)
Jade: Shadowkhan... oh no oh no oh no...
Hak Foo: *smirks, then advances toward Jade*
(Shadowkhan block him)
Hak Foo: Huh?

• gets the stuffing beaten out of him by the Shadowkhan*
  

Hak Foo: *in utterly humiliated tone of voice* Bunny flees from vicious jackals! AHHHHH!

• • Same episode, you see the Shadowkhan reappear, surrounding Jade in the bathroom, only to offer juice, cereal, and a toaster with fresh toast. Seeing them tend to her needs before school's oddly funny because of how unusally innocent the normally serious minions appeared.
• Here's one:

Uncle: Captain Black, your place is too big! I have to walk very far to get to the bathroom!

• Tarakudo has a psychic battle with Egbert, and in case you are wondering, Egbert is a rooster with the rooster talisman.
  • Perhaps the only thing that makes it funnier is that he struggles with the whole battle and has to win through a cheap shot.
• In the Cold Opening to 'Viva Las Jackies', the Chan Family's background antics behind Daolong Wong. "Ay-aaah!"
  • From The J-Tots:

"El Toro Fuerte never removes his pants!"

• Valmont's reaction to his freedom from Shendu in The Eighth Door: "WHOOPEE! BOOM SHAKALAKALAKA BOOM SHAKALAKALAKA!!"
• In one of the later episodes, the J-Team participates in a humiliating game show in order to win a MacGuffin. Jade gains a rivalry with the other team's youngest member... Who develops a crush on her by the end of the episode.
• "Flying Monkey Snatches Magic Box?"
• In "Curse of El Chupacabra", El Toro Fuerte is transforming into, well, a Chupacabra. So of course, Jackie calls Uncle to help them find a cure. The first thing Uncle does upon arrival? Walk in, drop his bags and begin to bitch about the flight.

Uncle: The flight was late, the food was terrible, the movie had no plot and I had turbulence!"