Interspecies Romance/Quotes

224. I cannot insinuate elf chicks are all easy, even though you never hear about a half gnome do you?

—Things Mr. Welch Is No Longer Allowed to Do In An RPG

"Me? In love with a pig? Haha! Wait 'til I tell the guys in marketing! Hahahahaha! Maybe you expected me to go HOG-wild? Hahahaha! Perhaps you could bring home the BACON! Ha, hahahaha! Ahhh, the sounds of love: Su-EEEEE! Oink, oink!"

—Kermit the Frog, The Muppets Take Manhattan

"Now let the turtle and the dove,
Let the lion and the lamb,
Let the owl and wolf and ram embrace
Across the countryside.
Fur and feathers, Makin' love;
Paws and claws and jaws and beaks,
Let the song go on for weeks and weeks,

To bless this boy and bless this bride."

—Children, Children, from Bat Boy: The Musical.

"Arihiko-san, I'm a spirit. It would be best to not have such wicked thoughts..."
"Don't worry, it's all about gaining experience."
'Well, it's definitely my first time with bestiality,' I add.

"------! Hya, Arihiko-san, as a master, you make me defend against too many things--!"

—Kagetsu Tohya

"Turians based on dextro-amino acids. Human ingestion of tissue could provoke allergic reactions. Anaphylactic shock possible, so don't....(ahem) ingest."

—Mordin Solus, Mass Effect 2 on the quote below.

"It'll either be a night to treasure, or a horrible interspecies-awkwardness thing....in which case, fighting the Collectors will be a welcome distraction. So, you know, a win either way."

—Garrus Vakarian, Mass Effect 2

Every time you do it, you make the ghost of H.P. Lovecraft cry.

—The Internet

Anyone that has truck with the extraterrestrial goes into the vats!

—Torquemada, Nemesis the Warlock

Human: Hey elf, you look like a girl.
Elf: To a human, everything must look like a girl.
Human: What?
Elf: Half-orcs, half-ogres...
Human: ...shut up.
Dwarf: Half-dragons, half-kobolds.
Human: I said shut up!
Elf: ...
Dwarf: ...
Human: ...

Elf: Centaurs...

—Anonymous Troper

Florence: I'm trying to proceed cautiously.
Niomi:Listen, if you've found a Bowman's Wolf you like, go for it!
Florence: Winston is human.

Niomi: Proceed very cautiously.

—Freefall

"What an interesting first union that must have been! Hahaha! I admire man's ability to see beauty in everything!"

—Coyote, Gunnerkrigg Court explaining to Antimony that she's part fire elemental

Let me get this straight: Your species can mate with anyone?

—Shepard, Mass Effect

They'll say you're an animal,

But I say you're a mammal just like me.

—Ichiro, Nerima Daikon Brothers

"Instead of rooting for these star-crossed lovers to overcome the odds and unite their people I found myself wondering if it was even ethical or right for a lizard-man and a dragonfly-lady to knock boots. Should people from different species get married or have sex? Is a union between a lizard-man and a dragonfly-lady like me dating a Catholic girl or a Shetland pony announcing its engagement to a bumblebee?"

—Nathan Rabin, My Year of Flops: Delgo

"You think I might find happiness in the animal kingdom, Ducky?"

—Beverly to the title character of the movie Howard the Duck

" I'll be honest with you, I've seen stranger couplings but not usually on earth. And definatly not with bipeds"

—Starfire The Outsiders

Steve: Oh, Come on guys! It's not so bad here! I kinda like it here. I even met my girlfriend.
(Pan right to reveal said girlfriend is a Dino Rhino.)
Jeff: Woof!
Steve: And we even had a baby. Look how big he is!
Hal: What the hell?! How did you even do that?!

Steve: I don't know. I was drunk and in love!

—Bowser's Kingdom episode 8

Mating between species. A pointless exercise.

—Javik, Mass Effect 3

"She is a cat," he thought. "That's all she is—a cat!"
But that was not how his mind saw her—quick beyond all dreams of speed, sharp, clever, unbelievably graceful, beautiful, wordless and undemanding.

Where would he ever find a woman who could compare with her?

—Cordwainer Smith, The Game Of Rat And Dragon