Improvised Weapon/Quotes

"I'll kill you... with this teacup."

—Riddick, The Chronicles of Riddick

"We must improvise. The world is full of weapons waiting to be used."

—Tai Kaliso, Gears of War: Jacinto's Remnant

"Shit, there's a lot of things you could use to kill a guy with. You could probably beat a guy to death with the Sunday New York Times, couldn't you?"

—George Carlin

Farrel: You just killed a hellicopter with a car!

Mclaine: I was out of bullets.

—Live Free or Die Hard

You used a crate? I mean, really, a crate?

—Neutral, Twokinds

"Did you know that, at 400 miles per hour, soccer balls can decapitate people?"

—Steven Heck, Alpha Protocol

"Folks're always tellin' me to use the door."

—Sal, It's Walky

Zeetha: You just said: "No weapons."

Higgs: That wasn't a weapon, that was a chair.

Zeetha: Well then! Give me a chair!

Higgs: Comin' up.

—Girl Genius

"Depending on how hardcore you are about making trips to the Home Depot every weekend, this place can potentially be literally covered from wall to wall with diabolical instruments so pointy and menacing that it makes some of those pussy-ass Spanish Inquisition torture chambers look like an inflatable bounce house at a six-year-old's birthday party."

—Badass of the Week, on the garage.

"This needle-sized ninja sword is too small to use as a weapon. Well, it's too small to use as an effective weapon. Pretty much anything can be used as an ineffective weapon."

—Kingdom of Loathing

As long as we still have guns, we gonna fight. And if we run out of bullets? Baby, they gonna wish we hadn't.

—Coach, Left 4 Dead 2

"Harry invited Smithy round for an explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry lost his rag, reached for the nearest thing at hand, which happened to be a fifteen-inch black rubber cock. He then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it."

—Bacon, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

Kung-Fu Cowboy minion: [does a bunch of kicks] "I learned that from a Chinaman!"

West: [picks up a shovel and knocks him out in one hit] "I just made that up!"

—Wild Wild West