Glee/Recap/S2/E03 Grilled Cheesus

The episode begins with Finn informing the viewers that he made a sandwich. Not a Lady Gaga-style sandwich, you understand, just an ordinary grilled cheese sandwich. Except, this sandwich turns out to be a Very Important Sandwich, because Finn sees Jesus in his sandwich. No, he didn't take anything before he made it. I think. Anyway, Finn prays to his sandwich, asking it to let the football team win in return for Finn making sure the Glee club will honour Jesus. And the football team does win. Score one for the sandwich.

In Burt's auto shop, Kurt brings Burt a healthy breakfast and tells him that he needs to take care of himself. Burt wants Kurt to join him for Friday night dinner while Kurt wants to watch The Sing-a-Long Sound of Music. Kurt wins.

In Glee club, Finn explains his new fascination with J-Christ and asks the Glee club to sing about Jesus. Kurt says that if he wanted to sing songs about Jesus, he'd go to church, and he doesn't go to church because churches are bitchy to gays and women and science. Will suggests just singing songs about spirituality. Puck gets up and performs 'Only The Good Die Young'.

In Burt's garage, he's talking to a customer when he has a heart attack and collapses. At school, Emma and Will find out, pull Kurt out of class, and the trio race to hospital, where they're eventually told that as a result of the heart attack, Burt's in a coma and it's not certain when he'll wake up.

At Finn's place, he asks the sandwich to let him get some boob action with Rachel. I know it's not entirely surprising that Finn would ask that, but for fuck's sake.

In the music room, the Glee club walks in, having heard about Burt. They all offer Kurt their sympathy, and Finn walks in, furious. Once he calms down, he tells Kurt that he wasn't happy hearing about Burt from other people who'd heard first, because Burt's the closest thing he's got to a father. Kurt lets him sit next to him as an apology.

Mercedes performs 'I Look To You' to try to help Kurt, but Kurt just feels worse because he's an atheist in a school of religious kids. A gay atheist, at that. Poor bastard. Kurt says he doesn't want God, he just wants his dad. Ryan Murphy, are you sitting down every week trying to think up new ways to torture Kurt or something? 'Cause it sure as hell seems like it.

In Figgins' office, Sue says that the club has to stop singing religious songs because schools can't endorse one religion over another, or religions over atheism. Figgins says he can and will do nothing unless there's a student complaint.

Finn and Rachel talk. She tells him that when she turns 25 and is ready for kids, she wants them to be raised as Jews. Finn agrees and she lets him feel her up. Score two for the sandwich. Maybe it does have some Gaga in it.

Sue interrogates Santana and Brittany, who tell her that Kurt's not into religion. Sue gets Kurt alone and convinces him to file a complaint.

Emma finds out that Sue's stopped religious music and demands to know why. Sue explains that as a child, she worshipped her sister Jean, but she realised that Jean wasn't the same as everyone else, so people were mocking her. Sue prayed and prayed to God to make Jean normal, but to no avail. And then Sue realised that it wasn't that God wasn't answering her prayers, it was that God didn't exist. Sue tells Emma that asking people to believe in a fantasy is cruel, just as cruel as saying that someone's going to Hell for not believing in your religion.

In the music room, Will tells the class that they can't sing religious songs. On the whole, the club's pissed. Will amends that they can sing religious songs as much as they like, just not at school.

In the locker room, Finn prays to the sandwich that he makes quarterback again. Puck walks in and asks what the fuck he's doing, and Finn lies and says he's praying for Burt.

In a clearing somewhere, Finn joins Rachel, who sings 'Papa, Can You Hear Me?'. Halfway through, we find that Carole, Finn, Mercedes, Rachel and Quinn are there. Kurt waits until Rachel finishes her song before walking in and asking what the fuck they're doing. They're holding a prayer circle for Burt. Kurt's pissed and he kicks them out after bringing in an acupuncturist who he thought might be able to help.

On the football field, Finn convinces Sam to try a new strategy, which leads to Sam being tackled and his shoulder dislocated. Way to fuck that one up, Finn. Beiste makes Finn the QB. Score three for the really bitchy sandwich.

In Glee club, Will congratulates Finn on becoming QB again and leading the team to victory. Puck points out how tragic it is that Sam had to get screwed over before Finn could be QB. Kurt thanks everyone for their kind thoughts and says that Burt's condition hasn't changed. He then tells them a story, about how when Kurt was at his mother's funeral, he wanted his father to say something to him, and his father reached down and took his hand, and then Kurt knew everything would be OK because his father would be there for him. And then he performs 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' and makes everyone cry.

In the hallway, Mercedes approaches Kurt and tells him that while she knows he's in a bad state, it's like she doesn't know how to be around him. Kurt says that he knows he shouldn't push his friends away. She invites him to her church, because she's got the minister to dedicate the service to Burt. Kurt initially says no until Mercedes tells him he can wear a fabulous hat. He's in.

In Emma's office, Finn explains how he's upset that Sam got hurt because of him. He tells her about the sandwich, and she points out several very relevant things: they won the game because they actually have a competent coach, Rachel let him feel her up because he actually listened to her and gave her something she wanted, and Sam got put out of action because he got tackled, not because of a sandwich. Finn now feels upset because his faith's been punctured. Emma reassures him. Emma: 1. Sandwich: 0.

Finn starts performing 'Losing My Religion'. We all know it's got nothing to do with religion, but Finn's a literal guy. He ends up performing it in the music room. Some of the club's upset because they weren't meant to sing songs about religion. Will asks Finn what the song meant to him. Finn says that he used to think that God was watching over him, but now he's not so sure.

In church, Mercedes leads Kurt in, and he is wearing a Very Fabulous Hat. Mercedes addresses the church, asking them to focus their prayers on Burt. She tells Kurt that while she accepts that he doesn't believe in God, everyone has to believe in something. Then she and the choir perform 'Bridge Over Troubled Water'. Kurt gets a nod from a woman wearing the same Very Fabulous Hat.

Sue plays checkers with Jean. She asks if Jean believes in God. Jean asks Sue the same question and then asks why when Sue says no. Sue says that it's because she saw how cruel the world was to Jean. Jean says that God doesn't make mistakes and offers to pray for Sue. Sue says it would be nice.

In Burt's hospital room, Kurt tells him about how he went to Mercedes' church, and how he remembered an incident that occurred after the funeral, and finally ends up telling Burt that he believes in Burt, and he believes in Kurt and Burt, and he's sorry he never got to tell Burt that. And then he feels Burt's hand move. Kurt calls for a nurse.

In the auditorium, the club performs 'One of Us'. As they sing, we cut to Finn eating the sandwich. Sue walks into the auditorium. Will asks her if she's going to turn them in, and she says no.

Songs performed in this episode:

• "Only The Good Die Young" by Billy Joel, performed by Puck
• "I Look To You" by Whitney Houston, performed by Mercedes
• "Papa, Can You Hear Me?" from Yentl, performed by Rachel
• "I Want To Hold Your Hand" by The Beatles, performed by Kurt
• "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M., performed by Finn
• "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkel, performed by Mercedes and the church choir
• "One Of Us" by Joan Osbourne, performed by the Glee club