Girl Scouts Are Evil

You want FIVE boxes.

"Y'know, this is gonna sound funny, but you're not the first Girl Scout I've seen possessed by the Devil."

—Whose Line Is It Anyway?

Is there anything more adorable and innocent than a Girl Scout? Definitely yes, if you ask some people (especially in the Web Comic community). For some reason, they often end up depicted as vile monsters who use deceptive cuteness and innocence to guilt-trip adults into buying a product they neither want nor need (viz., Girl Scout cookies) at greatly inflated prices. And if that doesn't work, they've got other weapons they can resort to...

Evil Girl Scouts are a type of Killer Rabbit. They may not actually be called Girl Scouts. Expect them to kick shins. Sibling trope to Milkman Conspiracy.

Examples of Girl Scouts Are Evil include:

Comic Books

• A Superman/Batman/WonderWoman comic featured the Justice League having to visit their Mirror Universe, where, along with the evil Justice League, there are two rival groups of Girl Scouts actively warring over territories.
• One of the villains in Man-Eating Cow used Captain Ersatz girl scouts as henchmen.

Fan Fic

• In episode 11 of Pretty Cure Perfume Preppy, Genre Savvy villainess Lapinyuu (who is two episodes away from her Heel Face Turn) disguises as a girl scout to enter the Auriville residence. It fails miserably.

Lapinyuu: Would you like some fresh-baked cookies from Aunt Makoto?s Farm? They come in the flavors of chocolate, strawberry, peach, blueberry, pineapple, passionfruit and Oreos with peanut-- (Chloe slams door on her face) --butter.

Film

• The knock-down drag-out fight scene in the rough-and-tumble bar flashback from the movie Airplane!!
• In Dodgeball, in order to qualify for the dodgeball tournament in Las Vegas, Average Joe's must first defeat a team of aggressive, steroid-using...girl scouts.
  • Well, one of them were busted for using steroids...and a beaver tranquilizer...at the end of the match. Whether the others were using them also is up for debate.

Girl Scout: Goddamn you Bernice!

• The first Addams Family movie, where Wednesday and Pugsley terrorize a girl scout. That actress returns in the next movie as the Alpha Bitch. It's Mercedes McNab, who went on to play Harmony in Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel.
• In the movie Troop Beverly Hills, the evil Redfeather troop fit this trope.
• In the Lethal Weapon parody National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1. (Although this is not a real girl scout, but Villainous Crossdresser Tim Curry badly disguised as one.

Literature

• In the Nick Carter spy novel Temple of Fear, Carter is kidnapped by three Japanese Girl Scouts. Well, actually, they weren't real Girl Scouts but they did fool him.
• The Ganymede Takeover by Philip K. Dick. One of the illusions created by the hell-weapons is a battalion of Brownie Scouts, crushing skulls with their overbaked cookies.
• One of the Ghosts of Fear Street series by RL Stine was based around the heroine joining a troop of Girl Scouts who all turn out to be undead monsters.
• An in-universe example occurs in Sharyn Mc Crumb's Bimbos of the Death Sun. Two of the characters play a strategy game where the Girl Scouts are one of the major power-brokers. For starters, they have nuclear capabillity and control the KGB.
  • The game is Illuminati with the serial numbers filed off. For the record, the girl scouts were not one of the organizations in the original game. The Boy Sprouts were though.
• In the Kiki Strike series, Ananka and Kiki recruit their team of delinquent heroes by scouting them out at Girl Scout meetings.

Live Action TV

• In an episode of Sister, Sister, Lisa and Ray have a bet that Ray can't make $20 last an entire week. As soon as Lisa takes Ray's wallet, credit cards, etc, there's a knock at the door. Ray opens to a typical sugar-coated Girl Scout, and 'attempts' to say "No thank you," and closes the door. Cue the furious pounding on the door and the little girl threatening poor Ray. She nearly runs off with the whole $20.
• In one episode of Murphy Brown, Murphy mentions how she's never trusted Girl Scouts because they "wear paramilitary uniforms while reciting oaths and starting fires."
• In at least one episode of the American Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Wayne Brady had to portray a sportscaster as played by a possessed Girl Scout.
• Larry cites this on Dharma and Greg:

"He acted this way when I wanted to be a Girl Scout."
"It's a paramilitary organization with cookies!"

• While not exactly evil, the girl scouts the Ace of Cakes crew run into can turn into something resembling ravenous hordes.

Mary Alice: "Help me. I'm so scared!"

• An episode of The Man Show had a segment with a rude girl scout.
• The Golden Girls had an episode that featured a sweet-faced "Sunshine Cadet," Daisy (played by a young Jenny Lewis), who would kidnap Rose's teddy bear and mail back an ear when a ransom isn't paid.
• In an episode of Reno 911!, two of the officers are about to walk up to a house to sell candy bars for a fundraiser. Down the sidewalk from them is a girl scout holding a box of cookies. After locking eyes, the cops race to the front door and gloat at beating the girl scout to the doorstep. She replies by whipping out two handguns and shooting at them.
• iCarly: In iOwe You, the mean teenage Sunshine Girls who are rivalling Spencer for their selling spot at the supermarket. Subverted with the incredibly-shy and Moe girl Emily who is the daughter of the hot mother Spencer is helping.
• A recurring Carol Burnett character on The Carol Burnett Show was a girl scout who would blackmail men into buying lots of cookies.

Video Games

• Also appeared - in a way - in Psychonauts, during the 'Milkman' mindscape, where the Girl Scouts, called "Rainbow Squirts", basically turn out to be the Ancient Conspiracy, and the final boss of the level is The Denmother.
• In City of Villains (ruled with an iron fist by Lord Recluse and his army of spider-themed Faceless Goons), one Mad Scientist contact makes an offhand reference to having bought cookies from the "spiderling-scout" daughter of one of his co-workers.
• There's a skin mod for Team Fortress 2 to replace the Scout with his apparently existent female sister, effectively named The Girl Scout. She doesn't have any audio clips yet, but based on her description, it's safe to assume she is a girl scout to some extent, and she does kill people.
  • Subversion; beyond the deliberate pun, she's a 20-something gangster-turned-mercenary just like her brother.

Webcomics

• In Holiday Wars, April Fools shapeshifts into the form of an evil girl scout. You can check it out here
• In the world of Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures, Girl Scouts are basically a Random Encounter monster - and one which most sane adventurers seek to avoid at all costs or this happens. Though, arguably, this evil could be fairly recent. After all, when you've had to issue a restraining order against an entire race, you tend to change your sale tactics a bit.
• In Casey and Andy, one of the main villains is Don Cindy, leader of the Girl Scout Mafia.
• Popped up in at least one Penny Arcade strip, where they brought out the big guns - a red-nosed girl-scout with blond pigtails and crutches, who successfully forced even Jerkass Tycho into buying a pile of overpriced cookies. Though it's close enough to count for this, in truth, this was not a case of evil Girl Scouts. Rather, it was a case of Tycho not being evil enough to resist the cuteness (and cookies). (Gabriel, on the other hand, claimed the girls spent the money on drugs...
• In Return To Sender, a monster diguises itself as a creepy Girl Scout. (Sequence begins here.)
• Not real Girl Scouts in The KAMics, but pygmies disguised as Girl Scouts to lull potential victims into a false sense of security until they attack, although it kind of backfired in this comic.
• Evil Inc. didn't answer the question of whether they are evil, but some girl scouts tried to buy the Henchmen Department because they didn't want to sell cookies on their own.

Western Animation

• Family Guy lampshades this in a side not about how people do anything for people who are beautiful. A girl scout (in a flashback) knocks on the door, and says they need Peter's hands for a school project and he proceeds to try to cut them off.
• The parody Campfire Lasses from Hey Arnold!!
• Justice League "The Girl Scouts are responsible for the crop circle phenomenon."
• In King of the Hill, "Arrow Girls" engage in cookie racketeering.
• A Fillmore! episode involved an undercover operation into a corrupt Girl Scout troupe run by an ex-Safety Patrol member.
• Even supervillains aren't immune: in Kim Possible the doorbell rings at Dr. Drakken's lair. His sidekick Shego says it's "probably one of those Pixie Girls pushing their cookies." "This time, we're ready." replies Drakken, with painful-looking countermeasures in place.
• An episode of Invader Zim was centered around the Girly Rangers. It was implied that they violently attack anyone who doesn't buy their "Chocolate-Covered Ninja Star Cookies". Dib eventually ends up with half a dozen of the cookies embedded in the back of his abnormally large head.
  • Another episode Door to Door involves Zim trying to sell chocolate bars for Skool. After several failed attempts such as telling people, "please buy my candy or my little brother will go insane" he decides to use alien technology to show them the horrible future that will occur if they don't buy the candy.
• One episode of The League of Super Evil had Voltar butting heads with the cute-but-pushy Suzie Scouts when they tried to sell him cookies.
• In the Dilbert Animated Series, one of the opening stings is a girl scout-type who clearly put on the waterworks to yoink Dilbert out of his money, even as he himself pointed out that her parents are wealthy and he doesn't need the overpriced cookies.
• My Gym Partner's a Monkey had a couple of girl scouts who threatened, and later mugged Jake and Adam for trying to sell chocolate covered bugs on their turf. One of them even had an eyepatch...
• Among the Scout expies in The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy? Mandy. And the Grim Reaper, but his evil is limited to selling worm-laden cookies (which everyone loved anyway), so subverted.
• Phineas and Ferb sort-of subverts this: Doofenshmirtz feels incredibly awkward around the Fireside Girls and cannot say no to buying their treats, but apparently all they do is stand there and look cute. The girls are actually usually helpful sidekicks to the main characters, Phineas and Ferb (and as absurdly capable as the pair, able to fight alligators and fix time machines).
  • About the girls looking cute, Doofenshmirtz once tried to make them invisible just so their cuteness wouldn't make him feel awkward in front of them.
• In Home Movies, Melissa is forced to join a girl scout-esque troop to be more feminine. It ends up being played as a cult/pyramid scheme.
• Not exactly evil, but in one Johnny Bravo episode, Little Suzy pressured Johnny into buying cookies a'la Sam-I-Am. At the end he buys 1,000,002 cookies delivered on a train for $2 (there was a special that day).

Johnny: A million and two cookies... Got milk?

• • In another, much later episode, Johnny watches a Squint Ringo show where the titular action hero fights against an army of robot assassins dressed up as girl scouts. When he busts them and stands next to a smoking pile of scrap metal, he's asked how he knew they were robots. His reaction: "Robots?".
  • The later seasons loved this, making Suzy the regular member of an entire army of girl scouts. In one episode, they wage a water-baloon war on Carl and the geeks, who in turn, recruit Johnny to train them. In another one, Johnny is assigned to watch over the Girl Scouts. He takes them on a trip near a building scheduled for demolition. When he looses track of them, and goes into the building to look for them, the scene shifts to the girl scouts chatting with the workers ready to demolish the building. They let Suzy push the button. Kaboom.
• South Park seems to toy with this a little in "The Succubus":

Chef's dad: There was a knock on the door. I open it, and there's this cute little girl scout.
Chef's mom: Oh she was so adorable with her little pigtails and all!
Chef's dad: And she said to me "how would you like to buy some cookies?" and I said "well, what kind do you have?" and she had cinnamon, graham crunchy seeds, raisin oatmeal, and I said "we'll take a graham crunchy, how much will that be?" and she looked at me and she says "I need about tree-fiddy." Well, it was about that time that I noticed this girl scout was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the paleozoic era!

• Cindy in The Boondocks episode "The Fundraiser" fits this trope. She acts like a foul-mouthed, ruthless drug dealer, beating rivals savagely and intimidating customers into buying her product... which just happens to be cookies.
• Laura Limpin AKA The Big Badolescent from Codename: Kids Next Door, who is a member of the Skunky Scouts.
• This drives the plot of The Problem Solverz episode "K-999 and Da Little Explorerz". Alfe disguises himself as a girl scout so can get Nina's last badge for flag communication. When she gets the badge, it turns out that the scouts were actually planning an alien invasion, and the solverz have to stop them.
• Played with in The Baskervilles. Since the show takes place in Underworld the Theme Park, the "Ghoul Scouts" are supposed to be menacing delinquents; but when April's mom takes over, she tries to run it like a regular Girl Scout troupe, and we get Ghoul Scouts Are Good.
• When Hector Con Carne tried to form a league of destruction, there was a Girl Scout troop among the invitees.
• An episode of Totally Spies! where they developed extremely addictive cookies that cause people to become extremely fat. However it was actually the person running it that was the actual bad guy, as the girl scouts simply thought they were selling normal cookies.

Web Original

• In Suzumiya Haruhi no Yako-Asobi, the Girl Scouts are apparently the advanced recon and special operations branch of an Ancient Conspiracy that goes as far back as Gilgamesh.

Real Life

• For multiple reasons, the US Military has plans for dealing with an attempted rebellion by the Girl Scouts. Mainly, it's just to let the plan-makers practice making plans for beating unconventional enemies, but they did file the plans away just in case. Of course, they have done the same for everything from aliens to zombies.
  • It isn't just the US that has them.
• A segment of Doctor Steel's Army of Toy Soldiers are called "Toy Scouts". An all-female regiment, they occasionally assist Dr. Steel during stage performances - and distribute mind control cookies.
• There is a Living Dead Doll that is a demonic Girl Scout. ^{[dead link]} The poem on her box reads: Cookie’s troop was not going to win; Their bake sale recipe was looking grim. So this sweet girl though it would be best To unleash her tasty treats of death.
• Not so much evil as plain badass (though YMMV if viewed through the lens of the values of the time) were the first Girl Scouts. They heard what the boys were getting up to and gatecrashed a jamboree, demanding a piece of the action. The year was 1909; the recipient of the demand was Robert Baden-Powell; and the jamboree was the first official one ever. And they got what they wanted.