Fullmetal Alchemist (anime)/Funny

• Vic Mignogna does Ed's rants while sucking on helium. And then almost headslams the table he's sitting at because he didn't expect the result to be that funny.
  • Travis Willingham does the "TINY MINISKIRTS" line while sucking on helium.
  • Barely the tip of the iceberg where the voice actors are concerned...the main cast play off each other quite well, as you can imagine (and that only continued with Ouran High School Host Club).
• Forget the series, the commentary for Episode 10 is hilarious.
  • The commentary for episode 36 is also pretty hilarious, especially when they discuss Olivier killing General Raven and how Buccaneer just happens to have a spare pair of gloves for her that he apparently carries around the whole time.
    • There's also an impression of what would happen if Olivier worked at a convenience store instead of joining the military:

Olivier: THAT ISN'T ON SALE!!!

• • The commentary for Episode 14 (which features Chris Patton) is equally funny. For instance, Vic is complimenting Chris, telling the latter how nice of a person he always is. Immediately after he finishes saying this...

Greed: You shut your worthless mouth, Ugly!

• Oh, the outtakes...
  • "So that was a No. 1 with tater tots and a jumbo Coke. Can I interest you in an apple pie today, sir?"
  • "The sexual method used in the Ishvalan region -- they mainly double-team."
    • "Nope, that's close. But it's called "dual cropping."
  • "How about I push you off this roof and break the arm you just got back?" "Yeah."
  • "Hey Ling...*sexual tone* how you doing?"
  • Buccaneer reciting "Rainbow Connection" as he dies.
  • The final one is from episode 2, as sweet young Al gives an enthusiastic "FUCK YEAH!"
  • "Within him is a Philosopher's Stone powered by many thousands of people. You could say he used its energy to claim the powers of God for himself. Now will you please put on a FUCKING shirt?!" Even funnier since Armstrong looked generally offended.
  • Another including Armstrong: "We're on a path leading directly to the heart of the enemy! We didn't come all this way just to stop the chance to pass up my balls in the hallway!"
  • Another one from Armstrong, this time flubbing his line: "The Homunculi refer to those unfortunate enough to...unfortunately unfortunately un...folded the Portal of...Happiness.^[1]"
  • To this tropette EVERYTHING Al and Scar said was CMOF. She also appreciates this funny little shiptease:

Greedling: The name's Greed.
Ed: No, Greed, I will NOT kiss you!

• • "Chimeras, huh? FUCKIN' SWEET!"
    • Later, "Chimeras, huh? AH, SHIT!"
  • Al's "I'M TRYING TO SAVE YOUR LIFE, ASSHOLE!" to a rambling, dying Heinkel.
  • When Envy, disguised as a dog, starts impersonating Scooby Doo.
  • This "exchange" between Ed and Al:

Al: So, I've been thinking about something lately.
Ed: Me too. I think we should try to bring Mom back.

• • Travis Willingham hanging a lampshade on Mustang's blindness during the last battle. Note this is about Alphonse.

Mustang: Wait, what the...? Does he have his arms? AND HIS LEGS?!
Hawkeye: Yes, sir.

• • Hohenheim is one of the many people rooting Ed on as he fights a weakened Father by shouting "GO EDWARD!!". The outtakes' version? "FUCK HIM UP!!"
  • There's also Scar confronting Father, to which we hear the former yell "YOUR FACE ASPLODE!" when he tries to kill him.
  • One more from Armstrong: "Let's look at the door!" *Everyone in the room looks towards the doorway*
  • A pair of doozys from when Scar confronts Wrath

Wrath: Tell me...you go by Scar, what's your real name?
Scar: My name? ........ Fuck you!

• • • followed by

Scar: I relented...I accepted my only choice! *extends his left arm* I brought that Shake Weight you see on TV! Ten minutes a day, everyday!

• Even though he's sick of it by now, Vic/Ed saying "Roy Mustang is dead sexy...in a miniskirt!" never fails to be hilarious.

First anime

• Colonel Mustang, Havoc, and Hawkeye are having a serious discussion about politics and Mustang's plans for becoming Fuhrer...

Roy: "That day...all female officers will be required to wear tiny miniskirts!"

• • The best part about that line is that, up until that exact moment, Mustang had been portrayed as a humorless prick.
• The entire birth sequence in episode 6.

Ed: "CHILDBIRTH ISN'T ALCHEMY, YOU DOPE!"

• From the same episode, when Mustang walks into the room, deadly serious, and says, "A dog, huh?... I LOVE DOGS!!" *big dopey smile*
  • Travis Willingham's delivery for this line was inspired by his (horrible) audition for Armstrong, making the dub even funnier.
• Actually, almost all of episode 13 ...

Ed (to Al as he's running away): Come on Al, don't run! Think of the kitten!
Al: I am! I'm the only one who is! (as the poor kitten is bouncing about Al's hollow chest cavity, trying to hold on for dear life)

• Also...

Ed: Today's the day I finally get some damn respect [from Roy].
Al: What's your strategy brother?
Ed: I TOLD YOU! A FIST IN HIS FACE!

• Hawkeye's method of dog-potty training. To cut it short, "Since that day, a silent oath is made among West Area residents, not to cross your path with Lt. Hawkeye...."
• The crowd rioting at Hughes stopping announcer duty to show off a billboard-sized picture of Elysia. "AH! DON'T FALL ON DADDY!"
• Never call Ed small/chibi/short/etc...actually, do it; it results in these nearly every time.
  • Even funnier for me was the one time someone calls him a "diminuitive state alchemist." Everyone expects him to react the way he usually does, but instead he calmly tells the guy, "Points for the big word, but you're still going down."
  • There is one occasion when he admits that if he wasn't short that he couldn't do his Air Vent Passageway. He really got himself there.
  • In the PS2 game The Broken Angel, right at the start, one of the train hijackers calls Ed short, and in turn Ed transmutes a hammer from his automail arm and whacks the poor sap out the window sending him flying Team Rocket style.
• Then there's the scene where Armstrong fights one of Greed's subordinates, who attacks him with a giant hammer. He counters the hammer with a punch, using alchemy to turn the hammerhead into a small statue of himself in a body building pose.
• Almost all of episode 37. Especially the first half, where Roy Mustang tells his subordinates to get Lt. Havoc a girlfriend. They end up setting him up with Armstrong's sister. The second half has their investigation of the rumored "warehouse 13", which is supposedly haunted by ghosts.
  • Alex has two other sisters, both of whom look almost exactly like he does.
  • Another good moment is when we get a look at how Hawkeye starts her day. Close in her bed...the giggles she's making are a little suspicious...and she whips the sheets open to reveal Black Hayate's been licking her feet.
  • They thought they'd discovered the scene of a murder, but it turns out they just found the place where Black Hayate buries bones. This is the only scene in the whole anime that actually made this troper laugh.
    • The way Hayate just nonchalantly walks through the scene, places his bone in one of the holes they'd just dug looking for the murder victim, kicks some dirt over it, and walks away, right past Mustang's pure "WTF???" expression... XD

Hughes: Got a message from Roy.
Ed: You mean the colonel?
Hughes: He said "Don't die under my command. You're enough of a pain without the paper work." That was it.
Ed: Tell him [in a complete deadpan tone] "Fine. There's no way I'm dying before you, you morally bankrupt colonel with a god complex."

Hughes: Roy, you need to make as many powerful friends around here as possible, which is why I make the suggestion *whispers* you find yourself a wife.
Mustang: *slamming phone* GIVE IT A REST!

• The coverup for Al's voice deepening in the dub of "Chibi Wrap Party", as if the entire OVA wasn't funny enough:

Al: Hey, brother.
Ed: Hey, Al...what happened to your voice?
Al: It's called puberty, Ed. Maybe it'll happen to you someday.
Ed: WHAT?!

• In the penultimate episode, Envy morphs into Mustang while fighting with Ed, thinking that Mustang's appearance would make him hesistate to attack. Ed's response? "I don't think you could've picked an easier target!"
• During the episode where Alphonse is damaged and left at the wrong train stop, a boy finds him and makes off with him so the boy can use Al's armor for a fight. The boy is highly weirded out that Al is speaking to him and then scared out of his gourd when Al proclaims (in a hammy fashion) that he's a "cursed demon armor and will steal your body and soul when you wear him". He ends up left on the side of the road, where Ed finds him some time later covered in Shinto Spell Tags to ward off evil.
  • Earlier in the episode, both sad and hilarious, it begins raining on Al's box:

Al: No fair, sky. I'm the one who feels like crying.

• When Gracia goes into labor in episode 6, she retorts with this after Maes protests that it's a bit off her due date...

Gracia: Well, the baby says NOW, and I'm pretty sure SHE gets to choose!

• 90% of scenes involving Alex Louis Armstrong are this. He is Large Ham at its finest.
  • The Large Ham status has passed down the Armstrong line for generations!
• This part of the movie, when the two brothers are reunited for the first time and have to run away:

Alphonse: Now what?
Edward: Just go!
Alphonse: Which way?!
Edward: ANY WAY!
Alphonse: I don't know where I'm going!
Edward: It's better than getting shot!

• Falman is trying to get a date for Havoc. He asks Sheska if she knows any smart, funny girls with great personalities. Sheska gets immediately offended that he didn't consider her. Falman clarifies that he's looking for a date for Havoc. Sheska immediately gets unoffended.

1. ↑ Whatever the fuck.