Final Fantasy VII/Funny

• The part where Cloud was dressed up as a Shinra soldier for Rufus' welcoming parade, and the parade's leader asks what they should finish the sequence with. Because of Cloud's previous parade failure, he asks Cloud to tell them what to do. Cloud stands tall and spins his Shinra-issued gun-- with the music of the victory fan-fare, just like he does when you win a battle. Everybody's like, "WOW!!" and "That's awesome!"
• Sit your ass down in that chair and drink your goddamn TEA!
• One of the funniest moments in this game was when Cloud decided to dress up as a girl to seduce Don Corneo; he'll Never Live It Down.
  • Even though this troper can't stand the game for the most part, he does find it hilarious that not only can Cloud (convincingly) crossdress to get close to a foe, but even tell him that Cloud is seeing a guy named Barret...
  • The whole scenario with Don Corneo is hilarious, from Aerith simply mentioning Cloud should crossdress to the moment where Cloud blacks out only to wake up and find a suspicious man not wearing much and slapping him around to the fact that you can rig it so Corneo chooses Cloud as his pretty girl.
  • Not simply mentioning Cloud should crossdress, but then mocking him and calling him "Miss Cloud" for going along with her plan. Seriously, Aerith's personality during the whole Midgar plot arc is pretty shocking if all you know about her is her Flanderized Mysterious Waif persona from the spinoffs.
  • Made even better by Tifa LITERALLY jumping in her place when she recognizes Cloud. Aerith is WAY too pleased with this.
• Speaking of Barret, "VERMIN? Y'all Shinra're the VERMIN, killing the planet! And that makes you King VERMIN! So shu'up, jackass!"
  • And another line from Barret when you're leaving Midgar for the first time is an optional classic. If you choose to take Tifa and Aerith as your party members, he'll give you an annoyed "Figured you'd do something like that."
• Who could forget those classic NPCs in one of the many bars: "It sounds like there's something going on outside, but I'm too drunk to care." Always kills me. Every time.
• Early in the game where Cloud and the others infiltrate the Shinra HQ, you can choose whether to fight your way through the main entrance, or sneak up the staircase in the back. If you choose to take the stairs, you hear Barret constantly complaining about the huge trek up the stairs, which causes Tifa to snap:

Tifa: "Stop acting like a retard and CLIMB!"

• • Tifa gets another one when she finally realizes that she's wearing a mini-mini-skirt while going up the stairs ahead of some guys, then insists they go first, refusing to explain why.
• Late in the game when Cloud disappears from the party, after Tifa escapes the gas chamber and runs out to the cannon in Junon, Scarlet catches up to her and starts to slap her. You are the instructed to press O to slap Scarlet back. Having to participate in a bitch slapping contest between two women is just plain hilarious.
  • And quite possibly Fetish Fuel.
• In the beginning, you can choose whether or not to order a drink from Tifa. The choice to get one is "give me something hard." That's not innuendo at all.
• Later, when Tifa asks how you slept, you can remark on how you slept well because it was next to her. If you choose this, her response is an amusing "wait, what?"
• If you mess up lines in the play during the Golden Saucer date...FLYING KICK!!!
• Most of Cloud's jokes can be extra effective for those who, say, saw Advent Children and Kingdom Hearts first and were exposed to his Flanderized angsty attitude. An especially funny one, if simple one, comes when Cloud gives Yuffie advice on how to combat motion sickness, where he mentions that back when he was in SOLDIER they had to ride in trucks all the time and that "It sucked." Considering the events that immediately preceded this conversation, you wouldn't expect our hero to be in the mood for such a silly line, which makes it even funnier when it comes out of no where like that.
• Also, most of the stuff that comes from Yuffie's mouth.
  • [Shinra troops ambush the gang] "I didn't plan this one!"
  • [Cloud debates what to do with a piece of Huge Materia] "Can I have it?"
  • [In response to Vincent's lament about Lucrecia] "Yawn, boring story #1."
  • Heck, right before the final showdown she opts to not get in the fight, but proceeds to freak out and claim that the Materia is "all hers".
  • Not a Yuffie line, but if you get her to go on the date with Cloud, she awkwardly kisses him, to which he doesn't respond, causing these lines:

Yuffie: "Say something!"
Cloud: "...something."

• • Her exchange with her father at the top of the Pagoda - just after a very emotional conversation about the state of the nation and her father's failing, he lets everyone else go out and then starts asking Yuffie if the party will be wanting all their Materia after the last battle. His last words to her are something like, "Come back! With the Materia!"
• The fight with Palmer. At the end, a truck steals your kill.
  • Plus he does the stupidest little dance during the battle.
• "This guy are sick." Aeris's mistranslated line had me laughing my ass off.
• Zack Fair is made of this.
  • "Uh huh... And? And and and?" Spoken by Zack, while fidgeting around like an excited, hyperactive puppy after being ordered to attack an enemy fortress all by himself.
• Cait Sith telling Yuffie to STFU in Advent Children. Made all the funnier by the fact that he isn't just saying, "Be quiet." No, instead he has to use the dialect Reeve programmed him with: "Lassie, shut yer gob." and shortly followed by "Crikey, lass! Shut yer boot!!"
• Red XIII's scene in Costa Del Sol, you find him calmly playing with some kids and their soccer ball, if you feel like being particularly cruel, you can kick the ball...right into his face, his response is to jump up and bark at you, if you talk to him after that, he just growls at you.
  • Meanwhile, Hojo is chilling out on the beach surrounded by groupies. And "getting a tan" as he puts it...while still wearing his labcoat.
• This troper finds funny Vincent's reaction in Advent Children, when Marlene says she can't believe he doesn't have a cellphone, and later asking Tifa where's the phone store. In the extras, he calls Cloud just to whining about Yuffie calling him only to call him.
• This is funnier at one remove, but: this troper was told of a friend's sister who was playing through the game for the first time. "She has a favorite character and spent a lot of time level-grinding during Disc 1 to get that character up to Level 99." "Oh, okay. Who is it?" "Aerith."
• At the Golden Saucer, you choose to have someone ride the gondola with you. While most of the characters are amazed by the sights and sounds, if you chose Cid, he just sleeps through the entire ride.
• How about Red XIII in a stolen Shinra uniform (with his tail still sticking out), dancing around like a complete moron as he tries to keep his balance on two feet?
• The play you're coerced to star in during the date scene, especially if you don't do what you're told (e.g. kiss the Evil Dragon King).
• When Cloud is under Sephiroth's control and about to attack Aerith, the two other characters with you yell out "Cloud!" Except for Cid, who yells out "Dumbass!"
• Barret in sailor uniform.

Cloud: You look like a bear wearing a marshmallow.*

• This counts as a possible mood killer considering what happens, but in the PC version of the game, if you take Vincent in with you in the Forgotten City, his sprite begins spazzing out when you go down to confront Aerith, standing with his leg outstretched and his cloak hanging above him. After Aerith's death, it just gets worse as he walks towards you with one leg pointing towards the sky, his leg outstretched again when he walks in front of Cloud, making him look like he's kicking Cloud in the crotch.
• Of all people, Sephiroth gets one when you meet him in Shinra Manor. After going on and on with his monologue, he beans Cloud over the head with a materia like it was a friggin' baseball, then flies out like Superman. And this is all with the Super-Deformed world-map graphics.
• Giving Red XIII the name "Nanaki", when you first encounter him.