< Fallout 2

Fallout 2/Funny


Chosen One: "Uh... doggie talk?"
K-9: "One; I am a dog. Two; I am communicating with you vocally using the common English language. Therefore it is safe to assume that the answer to your question is 'yes, doggie talk.' Now, do you intend to answer the question that I posed to you a moment ago?"
Chosen One: "Sorry, me forget question."
K-9: (sighs) "Pay attention. Concentrate. Look me in the eyes. Now, are you ready?"
Chosen One: "Ready what?"
K-9: "I... If it were not for the fact that your IQ is less than my height in feet I would think that you are trying to irritate me. Now, be silent. Pay attention. Concentrate. Look me in the eyes. I am about to ask you a question."

    • And Sulik's reaction: "Most people have evil spirits. You? You have stupid spirits."
    • Also, the low intelligence dialogue with Myron.
    • In an early part of the game is a man named Torr whom the player can have low intelligence conversations with (Complete with subtitles!). The implication being that the two idiots understand one another perfectly.
  • From Navarro:

Chosen One: "Yes sir!"
Sergeant Dornan: "I am not a sir! I work for a living, you mo-rooon!"

    • Also:

Dornan: (upon being told that you lost your power armor) What was that? YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT MAGGOT!? The truth is you've lost an expensive piece of army issue equipment! That suit is gonna come out of your pay! AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THIS MAN'S ARMY UNTIL YOU ARE (inhale) FIVE-HUNDRED AND TEN YEARS OLD! WHICH IS THE NUMBERS OF YEARS IT WILL TAKE FOR YOU TO REPLACE THE MARK TWO POWER COMBAT ARMOR YOU HAVE LOST!

    • Really, anything Dornan says. It's not really something you can express in text.

Dornan: A civilian? How in the hell did a civilian get on this base? I'LL HAVE SOMEONES ASS FOR DINNER!

  • If you get too irradiated, your character sprouts a sixth toe. If you have this toe surgically removed, it's possible to eat it. The game's response? "You just ate your fucking toe!"
  • The conversation with Myron with a female character

Myron: So, beautiful... how about we get in bed and do some mattress dancing?
The Chosen One: I'd love to, but I don't have 10 seconds right now. I'm out of here.

Frank: Well, it's a little past 12. Anyone up for lunch?

Enclave Soldier 1: Score, I'm there.

Enclave Soldier 2: Yeah, count me in on that.

The Chosen One: "Mother of Go-"

  • Putting the landmine you get from a grave robber to good use.
  • In Fallout 2, after learning of Mob Boss Jesus Mordino:

The Chosen One: "I always suspected Jesus had ties to organized crime."

  • Setting a timed explosive beneath the outhouse in Modoc. Due to all the methane gas down there, you go flying as you climb out (assuming you even survive), and for the remainder of the game, half the town will be covered in shit. All just to find a lost pocketwatch.
  • Broken Hills. The Spore Plant, which gives you information on chess against a intelligent scorpion made by the local doctor. You can take three tests against the thing: A Agility, Eye, and Smarts.

The Chosen One: How the hell did you open a lock with CLAWS?

Well, THIS would've been useful at the beginning of the goddamn game.

  • When talking to Renesco in his shop he might ask the Chosen One what it is that he/she wants:

Chosen One: What do I want? I don't really know. Most of the time I ignore my quest and walk into the homes of others, riffling through people's shelves...oooh, like those over there!

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