Edible Bludgeon

Food used as melee weapons. Be sure to take note of the fact that a Genre Savvy criminal will realize that they can Eat the Evidence if the weapon was used to commit a crime without having to suffer horrific indigestion as a result.

Baguette Beatdown is a Sub-Trope. See also Edible Ammunition, Produce Pelting, Shamu Fu, Food Slap, and Fork Fencing.

Examples of Edible Bludgeon include:

Anime and Manga

• In Ranma ½, foods, such as Okonomiyaki, Ramen, and Takoyaki, are used as a weapon a number of times.
• In Digimon Data Squad, Raramon uses Sausages as Nunchucks in the movie. AND IT IS AWESOME.

Comic Books

• In The Batman and Robin Adventures #5, The Joker attempts to beat a henchman to death with a bunch of bananas for welshing on a bet. He later regrets this - not for any moral reason, just the fact that bananas aren't sturdy enough to be used as a truncheon. The next time he attempts this, he uses plantains instead.
• Deadpool beat up a Bullseye (who was dressed as Hawkeye) with a giant ham.

Film

• Not sure if this goes better under Produce Pelting, but in Mrs. Doubtfire there is a scene at the pool where Daniel, in full Doubtfire costume, wings a lime at the back of his rival Stuart's head. Stuart turns and sees Mrs. Doubtfire standing all by herself next to the fruit stand. Daniel claims it was a poolboy angry at Stuart for an inadequate tip:

Mrs. Doubtfire: "Oh, the terrorists! They run that way. It was a run-by fruiting."

• Smith from Shoot Em Up uses carrots almost as much as guns, most often for stabbing.
• In Beverly Hills Ninja, where Haru wields two large tuna.
• Thanks to Bowlderization, we have Michelangelo in the second Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie using a couple joints of sausage in place of his nunchucks.

Michelangelo: *Grabs sausages* "Combat coldcuuuuuuuts!"

Literature

• In Roald Dahl's Lamb to the Slaughter, a frozen leg of lamb was used. She gets the police investigators to eat the evidence.
• In Discworld, Dwarven Bread is well known to be a backup weapon. Its actual edibility is dubious.

Live Action TV

• Classic example is the leg o' lamb from Alfred Hitchcock Presents, adapted from the aforementioned Roald Dahl story.
• The Monty Python's Flying Circus sketch "Self-defence against fresh fruit" must fit somewhere.

Drill Sergeant Nasty: Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against the banana fiend. First of all, you force him to drop the banana, next, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him helpless.

• • From the same show, the Fish-Slapping Dance. Light slaps to the cheek with mackerel (or some similarly sized fish) are replied to with the piscine equivalent of a truncheon, knocking Michael Palin straight into the river. No-one actually eats any of the fish, but they could have.
• Discussed with Jose Jalapeno on a Stick in Controlled Chaos.

Newspaper Comics

• Bloom County: Opus, the mime, and the olive loaf.

Tabletop Games

• Ogres in Warhammer Fantasy Battle, being a race of Extreme Omnivores, will eat their clubs, but only in desperate situations.

Video Games

• The Scout in Team Fortress 2 has a mackerel wrapped in newspaper.
  • He also has a candy cane. The description notes that while its not practical, it sure is humiliating.
• One of the melee-weapons available in Naughty Bear is a whole ham. It packs a mean whallop...
• In the Pokémon games, Farfetch'd uses a leek as a weapon.
• The trolls in Heroes of Might and Magic 3 hold big thigh bones with the meat on them for bludgeon weapons, scrolling the mouse cursor over them makes them take a bite out of the meat.
• Several of the joke weapons in the Soul Series are foods, such as shiskabobs and a giant sausage.
• Some of the improvised weapons used by Joachim and Frank in the Shadow Hearts series are technically edible. Specifically, a tuna, a swordfish, and a shish-kebab.
• Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice and Disgaea 4: A Promise Unforgotten have "fun" weapons that include edible things like lollipops, shish-kebabs, and baked potatos. Their actual equipment stats are generally close to non-existent, but they all possess useful secondary abilities.
• In Phantom Brave, bread and fish are among the items you can use as weapons.
• Elona has equipment that can be either candy or raw, that can then be eaten.
• In Sengoku Basara 2, we have the joke weapons of Kojuro (a leek used as a katana), Toshiie (a swordfish), Ranmaru (a chocolate banana), and Ieyasu (a giant shrimp).
  • Hideaki from Sengoku Basara 3 can throw food carrots and lobsters at enemies.
• Chrono Cross has Janice, a half-rabbit monster trainer that attacks enemies with a giant carrot.
• In Banjo-Tooie, pink and blue Flatsos use sausages and candy canes, respectively, as weapons.

Web Comics

• In Girl Genius, one cook was threatened by his own granddaugh--Aaah! Not with the schlognwurst! It's expensive!. It promptly is used against the Jäger. Other implements include a barrel of pickled herrings and a jar olives.
  • Bilingual Bonus too: "schlogn" is yiddish for "hit".
    • Or, if you will, slugging.
• In Not Quite Daily Comic, characters use carrots for dagger practice. Then eat them.

Western Animation

• Rocket Robin Hood featured fight scenes in which a hambone and a sack of flour would be used as weapons.
• Batman: Mask of the Phantasm: during his fight with the Phantasm, the Joker reaches a cutting board behind him. He ignores the knife laying there, and instead grabs the giant hunk of salami.
  • And once, Harley girl knocked out a thug with a cod. While telling him to grab his own hostage.
  • In The Batman, Joker sets up an ambush for a vigilante targeting super-villains. His henchmen are armed with pies. Granted it's silly, but since this is the Joker we're talking about, chances are they aren't safe for consumption.
• An episode from the 90's cartoon adaptation of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles involves a battle between the heroes and the Shredder in the kitchen of a pizza parlor. Hilarity Ensues.
• In the beginning of X-Men: Evolution's third season, Wolverine and Rogue evade capture by authorities by using a small convenience store's grocery items to blind and disorient, but not hurt them...too much...before making their getaway.
• Broadway uses one in an earlier Gargoyles episode.

Real Life

• There is a story about a deli owner breaking a would-be robber's nose with a salami.