< Borderlands

Borderlands/Funny


Hack!trap: Well, I could let you in, or I could stick an electrode up my back panel and call it paradise...

  • Secret Armory manages to add some very memorable audio conversations between you and Knoxx as well as two soldiers talking about ice cream and an oversized bullet.
    • Also, during Athena's transmissions, she needs to keep them from being identified. This results in them being broadcast in between ads for "Engorge", a faux brand of Penis Englargement Pills. It's funny enough on it's own, but it goes into true CMOF territory when Mr. Shank (Who is identified as a "Notorious Ladies Man") is a spokesperson for it, after the player has already learnt that he is EXTREMELY gay.

Mr. Shank: Yeah so this shit is tits, guys. You should see what my bitch thinks of me now! Hi...Err...Her name is Chaz....Mina....and uh she...

    • Same with Dr. Ned's transmissions during Zombie Island:

Dr. Ned: I'm baking brownies, you want one? Oh shit, wait. I forgot about me trying to shove you off this mortal coil. Can't be givin' brownies to just any vengeance driven d-wad now can I? Hey, you know if zombies like brownies?

      • Later:

Dr. Ned: Well, y'got me outta bed, now I'm just pissed off. I love slippers. I live to wear them. Now I'm just gonna have t'kill ya.

  • Near the end of Zombie Island, the fake credits being interrupted by Undead Ned (HOLY F*#KING SHIT!!!)
  • At the end of Robot Revolution, Claptrap shoots Marcus twice in the back, making him fall over. Before dying (and presumably being resurrected at a New U), he raises his finger and weakly says "If it took more than one shot, you weren't using a Jakobs."
  • Anything the prison Claptrap in DLC 3 says before giving him the repair kit.

Claptrap: Let me out! She didn't tell me her age! Girls of all ages like candy!
Claptrap: When I get out of here, some of you bitches are getting stabbed. Matter of fact, I'm going to set the stabbing record on this planet.

    • Even better, after you let it out and it opens the door to a treasure rooms for you, follow it a bit longer. It rolls into the garage doing the usual Claptrap beatboxing dance routine, then it suddenly rolls under a giant electromagnet and finds itself lifted off the ground and permanently pinned to it.

Claptrap: Dammit. Just kill me.

  • A fair few of Moxxi's lines.

Moxxi in the Underdome: The Horde Wave's comin ta eatcha! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM.

    • As well as...

Moxxi over the Echo: It looks like you'll need to go through the back door. That's What She Said! HEYO!
(beat)
Moxxi: Ahem. Anyway...

  • The starting town's Claptrap has his idle dialogue as him starting to wheel around and spin in place while saying the following:

Claptrap: Oh, come on, let's get down! Come on, everybody! Check me out, I'm dancin'! I'm dancin'!

    • Ned's Claptrap in the Zombie Island DLC is also quite hilarious:

Ned's Claptrap: *Dancing noises* Everybody's doin' the Claptrap! Ninja-kickin' zombies for the thrill! Chicks and shorties up in my grill! But the alive kind! *More dancing noises*
Ned's Claptrap: Dr. Ned gave me the following awards this year; 'Most Effective Claptrap in Life-Threatening Situations', 'Hottest Performer of Mid '80s Breakdance Fighting', 'Master Orator' and 'Best Kisser'.

  • Marcus' lemony voiceovers to the intro and outro of 'The Zombie Island of Doctor Ned'.

Marcus: It was a dark and stormy night... on a distant corner of Pandora where few men dare to tread. With the journey to find the elusive Vault behind them, our fearless adventurers set off into the trees of-
Child: What's a tree?
Marcus: Oh for the Angel's sake-- It's a plant that grows out of the ground really tall.

Child: Like this?

Marcus: No more interruptions! So, they set out into the trees of Jakobs Cove; a land very much ravaged and forgotten by time. It was here that the scientist Dr. Ned, who is totally not Dr. Zed from the last story at all, tried to help all of mankind, but ultimately caused very bad shit.

Child: That's a swear!

Marcus: Dude made zombies, okay? You're not the police of me. Pay attention. Okay, so some bad crap was happening and it got really spooky and this is where our story begins...

Child: Is any of this going to be true?

Marcus: Yes. Probably a lot of it. You're adopted.

  • Some of the weapons have hilarious names, to the point that players colect them for that reason alone. Perhaps the best example is the Hyperion "Bitch" sub-machinegun, which -due to the naming system- comes with the funny names: "Hostile", "Violent", "Malevolent", "Relentless", "Ruthless", and "Twisted", all followed by the weapon title "Bitch". Let alone the fact that the red "Flavor text" says "Smack 'em".
  • During the intro, if one looks closely at Mordecai when Marcus is making fun of the player characters, you can see him silently giving Marcus the finger.
  • Mr. Shank's accidental transmission:

Mr. Shank: Chaz, stop! Oh my God I am so ticklish there! Oh, did I hit the transmit button? ...Oh crap. Uhhh... Hey, yeah, so you're still gonna still try to infiltrate my palace? Death on your head and such.

  • Some of the things that Scooter comes out with:
    • 'Ey, ah'm Scooter! I's named after mah sister! Hey, get you some wheels!
    • The Catch-a-Ride near Fyrestone is more busted than my momma's girl parts. Really appreciate you takin' a poke at that. The uh, system, not my mom.
    • Hey, Scooter says don't walk, drive! My daddy always said wheels were better than heels. Uh, he was paralyzed, though. Anyway, don't walk, drive!
    • Act all casual like when I say this. I'm gonna speak in code, so I hope you have the mental capacity to follow. Your 'lady friend' told me to send you to 'Moxxi's place' when you stopped by... If you know what I'm saying.
    • Smokin' Jesus titty cinnamon!
  • The cutscene where you rescue Athena and she tells you about how she suffered while being held prisoner by the bandits:

Athena: Your rescue is most agreeable. Thank you. But to be honest, mostly they just wanted to do my nails and talk about boys all the time. I almost sort of liked it here. They were like the sisters I never had because Atlas duped me into killing them-- Wow, that got heavy, didn't it?

  • The Launch Trailer for Borderlands 2 includes several gems:
    • "87 Bazillion guns just got bazilliondier!"
    • "Even more skills[1]
    • Claptrap's dubstep dance, and the subsequent message - "96.5% more WUB WUB."
  1. ↑ For the payment of larger bills.
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