Better Than It Sounds/Film J

• Jacobs Ladder: Man comes home from war. He notices that something is very different about the world.
• Jailbait: Prison bitch tries to kill his rapist. With a pencil.
• James Bond: Man who needs to be discreet and effective, but introduces himself with his full name and goes after every girl he meets. And, every bartender on the planet knows his Drink Order. Also, faces people who don't know simple killing methods.
  • Goldfinger: A man tries to increase gold prices by reducing the supply.
  • You Only Live Twice: A man with a scar and a liking for cats tries to start World War Three by stealing their vehicles.
  • The Spy Who Loved Me: A man with a marine obsession tries to start World War Three by stealing vehicles.
  • Moonraker: A man with vehicles and an innovative conference room tries to use poisonous plants to have human evolution his way.
  • For Your Eyes Only: Two nations and criminal associates fight each other over a box.
  • Octopussy: A man dressed as a clown tries to stop a plot to blow up a military base.
  • A View to a Kill: A man tries to dominate the microchip industry by flooding the competition.
  • The Living Daylights: The key to disrupt an evil general is a cello player.
  • Licence to Kill: A man goes on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge against a drug dealer and loses his job because of it.
  • GoldenEye: A man tries to use an electromagnetic pulse to cover up a robbery. Twice.
  • Tomorrow Never Dies: A man tries to start World War Three just to sell news in China.
  • The World Is Not Enough: A man with a scar and a bullet inside his head tries to raise the price of oil to please his girlfriend.
  • Die Another Day: A diamond merchant tries to reunite two long-divided nations by force. He uses a farming tool as a weapon.
  • Casino Royale: Adults' card game is Serious Business.
  • Quantum of Solace: A man blows up a hotel to get over his dead girlfriend.
• Jaws: Scientist, police officer afraid of water and war veteran go fishing. With explosives.
  • Or: A fish starts eating people.
  • Jaws 2: Police officer's kids go fishing. Without explosives.
  • Jaws 3D: Police officer's son goes fishing at a theme park. Actually, not all that great.
  • Jaws: The Revenge: Stalking fish goes human hunting. Actually as bad as it sounds.
• JCVD: A washed-up action star, playing himself, tries to pay his alimony.
• Jeder für sich und Gott gegen alle AKA The enigma of Kaspar Hauser: A sheltered teenage boy learns about the world for the first time and dies violently. The boy was played by an amateur actor in his forties.
• Jesus Christ Superstar: The rock opera of the death of an important religious leader, using a strangely diverse cast and anachronistic props.
• Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter: The musical of the return of an important religious leader, but this time he has to use kungfu to save Ottawa's lesbian community from vampires. A luchador helps him.
• Jumanji: A (board) game of life or death.
  • Zathura: A (board) game of life or death... IN SPACE!
• The Jungle Book: A kid fights a tiger. And wins.
• Junior: A muscle-bound scientist with a peculiar accent impregnates himself. His nipples become very sensitive. And he could not have done a worse job picking the other parent, even though there is attraction between them.
• Juno: Girl deals with pregnancy and speaks weirdly.
• Jurassic Park: Two kids get invited to visit their grandfather's zoo and watch a lawyer feed one of the animals.
  • The Lost World: Jurassic Park: Girl accompanies her father to the breeding facility of the zoo, where he would meet his ex-wife. One of the animals follows them home.
  • Jurassic Park III: Boy gets lost in the breeding facility.