Samuel L. Jackson

/wiki/Samuel L. Jacksoncreator
Enough is enough! I've had it with these muthafuckin' tropes on this muthafuckin' index!
Samuel L. Jackson has appeared in every movie ever made, including all those to be made in the future. If you're working on a funny little home movie with your buddies, Samuel L. Jackson will show up at some point onscreen, if you accidentally leave your camcorder on he'll end up in front of it, and in homes all over the world young couples are staring in confusion at their nannycam as Samuel L. Jackson shows up to berate the babysitter.
—Jerusalem's Let's Play of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Describe Samuel L. Motherfuckin' Jackson here.

Samuel Leroy Jackson (born 1948) is one of the top leading men and supporting actors in Hollywood today. Judging by box office performance alone, he's the second-highest grossing movie star ever, behind prolific Voice Actor Frank Welker. If you see a Badass Scary Black Man with No Indoor Voice in one of your favorite films, chances are good that this guy's playing him (and will likely give you a few lines to remember for ages), 'specially if he's bald. Also, interestingly enough, Sam Jackson, despite being the badass that he is, generally dies like a punk.

Were Adam Westing not already coined, it would be called Samuel L. Jacksoning. As it is, you can think of pretty much any character that he plays as being Samuel L. Jackson anyway.

Please do not confuse him with Laurence Fishburne. According to both actors' IMDB entries, this happens frequently, in both directions.

And, for God's sake, don't try to portmanteau his first name and middle initial together, creating "Samuelle Jackson." It never ends well. In more formal situations one should use his full title, "Samuel L. Mother Fuckin' Jackson." ("Sammie J" is also acceptable, albeit in very small doses.) Alternatively, "Mr. Jackson" is entirely appropriate, and less likely to get a Badass annoyed with you.

For those who still believe that being a nerd and being a badass motherfucker are two unrelated concepts, he is a big fan of anime, videogames, manga and comic books.

As one might guess from looking a little below this entry, he is a living Fountain of Memes.

Unsurprisingly, he is an element on the Periodic Table of Awesoments -- abbreviation Mf (element 37).

On a lighter note, Jackson is one of those lucky Hollywood few who is Happily Married: he has been married to LaTanya Richardson, whom he met at Morehouse College, since 1980.

Also, never let him read a children's book. (Or let him read every children's book.)

He also did an anti-gun violence PSA, which can be found here.

Some of his notable roles:
  • Jules Winnfield in Pulp Fiction. (They just witnessed a miracle, and he wants you to fucking acknowledge it!)
    • He also wants you to get his wallet out of the bag. You know, the one that says "bad motherfucker" on it.
      • Legend says that Mr. Jackson got an actual wallet with that phrase stitched into it after the movie. If not the actual prop itself.
    • That's Kool, and the Gang!
    • And don't answer every question he asks with "What?"
    • He also asks you if Marsellus Wallace LOOKS LIKE A BITCH!
      • ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT?
    • WHY THE FUCK IS HE IN THE BACKSEAT ON BRAIN DETAIL?!
    • The car didn't hit no motherfucking bump! John Travolta Just Shot Marvin In The Face!
      • This is the VALLEY, Vincent! Marsellus ain't got no friendly places in the Valley! 'Jules, this ain't my fuckin' town, man!'
    • And you will know HIS NAME IS THE LORD, WHEN HE LAYS HIS VENGEANCE UPON THEE!
    • And he DOES NOT REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GODDAMN THING.
    • He's a mushroom-cloud laying motherfucker, motherfucker.
    • His name is Pitt. And your ass isn't talking your way out of this shit.
    • He is also rather appreciative of the big brain on Brett.
    • He's sorry, did he break your concentration? Please, go on. Oh, you were finished? Well, allow him to retort.
    • Royale with cheese...!
    • Mm-hmm! This IS a tasty burger!
  • Quentin Tarantino cast him again in Kill Bill as a musician to play at the Bride and her fiance's wedding. If you know anything about Kill Bill, however, you can guess his fate...
  • A Time To Kill. Yes they deserved to die, and he hopes they burn in Hell.
  • Zeus Carver in Die Hard With a Vengeance.
    • He didn't say Jèsus, he said HEY, ZEUS! As in Father of Apollo, Lord of Mount Olympus, don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass, ZEUS!
    • HE HAS! TO ANSWER! THAT PHONE!
    • Not even God knows what you're doing!
    • He wants you to remember that all brothers don't know how to use guns, you racist motherfucker.
  • Doyle Gipson in Changing Lanes.
  • Sergeant West in Basic.
    • He swears to GOD you will swim the canal.
    • He doesn't think the game should be called on account of rain.
    • He is officially Section 8.
    • Those of you he finds lacking will quit. Those of you who refuse to quit will suffer an accident. His base suffers three training accidents each year. Unfortunate accidents that he will not hesitate to repeat if you cross him.
  • Mace Windu in the Star Wars prequel trilogy. (Where he specifically requested to not go out like a punk, and so he was sucker-sliced by Anakin, and thrown out a window by Palpatine's lighting.)
    • It did take the most powerful Sith Lord ever to kill him, though. And even then he won the lightsaber duel against the Dark Lord. Something Yoda couldn't do. The novelization makes it quite clear that Windu had Palpatine beaten, and that only after Anakin arrived did Palpatine switch tactics. And that he is a superior lightsaber duelist compared to Yoda, despite the latter's greater power. In Star Wars canon, Windu truly is one of the baddest motherfuckers in the galaxy. However, Word of God by George Lucas confirms a Xanatos Gambit may have been played straight by Palpatine, as Mace clearly had him beaten in lightsaber terms, but the lightning duel was obviously staged.
    • Apparently his in-universe self-invented fighting style, Vaapad, taps into the 'penumbra of the dark side' by enjoying the fight and thrill of victory. Badass.
    • And he has totally CurbStomped Jango Fett, of all people. The same Jango Fett who won against Obi-Wan.
    • He rocks a purple lightsaber. A purple lightsaber, people. He specifically requested it so that he could find his character easily in large fight scenes.
      • It was also his idea to have Elijah Price wear purple. Apparently that's just his color. GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, MUTHAFUCKAH?!
    • With BMF reportedly engraved on the hilt. See Pulp Fiction above...
      • Which is apparently meant to be the lightsaber that is later wielded by badass Imperial agent Mara Jade.
    • "This party's over."
    • Now we know that Star Wars is fake, because in real life, NO ONE could kill Samuel L. Jackson.
  • Was the only actor badass enough to play Hondo in S.W.A.T., even though in the TV series he was white.
  • Elijah Price in Unbreakable. Something of a Double Subversion of his usual role as a Scary Black Man, as Price is frail due to a serious illness, but turns out to be pretty darn scary nonetheless.
  • Russell Franklin in Deep Blue Sea. (Killed by a shark, while indoors!)
  • Shaft in the 2000 version of the film. (He's a complicated man, but no-one understands him but his woman.)
  • Provided the voice of Frozone in the Pixar film The Incredibles. (Honey, where is his super suit?)
  • Agent Neville Flynn in Snakes on a Plane. (He has had it with these muthafucking snakes on this muthafucking plane!)
    • Who the hell can make the name "Neville" cool? Samuel L. Jackson, that's who!
    • Even better is the fact his only motivation for taking up the role was the movie's title.
      • It was just the working title, until he threatened to walk if weren't made official. The rest is history.
  • Played Elmo McElroy, an American chemist intent on making fortunes by selling drugs in Britain, in The 51st State (known in America as The 51st State). He beat up some motherfucking neo-nazis with a golf-club (while wearing a kilt!) while at it. He also got to make fun of people who mistake him for Lawrence Fishburne by offering people their choice between a blue and red pill.
    • The best part with the neo-Nazis was when he tricked them into swallowing massive doses of laxative ... and as he walks out, leaving them writhing on the floor with their pants all wet and smelly, they're reduced to thanking him for tossing them rolls of toilet paper.
  • Stacks Edwards in Goodfellas, even though he was always late, he was even late for his own fucking funeral.
  • Nick Fury in The Ultimates was patterned after Jackson with the man's permission, under the condition that he got to play the character in any movies they might make in the future. So when Fury appeared in the post-credits scenes in Iron Man, Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger, Sam made cameos. Uncredited, at his own request, just so they're a surprise for any fans devoted enough to actually pay attention to the credits. Jackson also played Fury in the The Avengers film.
    • Lampshaded in the comics. Who does Fury himself think should play him in a film?

Why, Mister Samuel L. Jackson, of course. That's not even open to debate.

Sir! I'm going to have to ask you to exit the doughnut!
I have my eye on you.

    • Best part of all this(so far): we finally find out exactly what is in Marsellus Wallace's briefcase - The Cosmic Cube!
    • He understands that the Council has made a decision. However, as it is a stupid-ass decision, he has elected to ignore it.
    • And, ironically, the canon Nick Fury looks completely different (white with buzzcut hair as contrast to bald Scary Black Dude), but they still made the Ultimates Fury how he is, most likely to invoke Jackson to play him in any movie adaptations, which, of course, worked.
  • Also voiced the protagonist of Afro Samurai. (He wants lemonade. Ice cold). Also voiced the overly chatty sidekick Ninja Ninja (He thinks you're a button mashin' motherfucker.).
    • Add one mo' body to the body toll! May God rest this po' bastard's soul!
  • Voiced the crooked police officer Frank Tenpenny in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. (He thinks Carl is a muthafuckin piece of shit gangbangin' cocksucka).
    • He is so far above you, if he takes a crap, you'll think GOD HIMSELF just shit on you.
    • BOO!
    • Asshole. No really, that bit in the game was Mr Jackson's crowning moment of awesome.
  • Voiced rich white gangsta Gin Rummy in The Boondocks.
    • "The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence!"
    • He also got to recreate the "What" scene from Pulp Fiction with Riley, with a change in subject, but otherwise word for word.
    • "I'll be dead on his ass like Spencer for fuckin' hire. I'll hunt him down and feed him his own testicles. And I'll do it in a jiffy! And I don't care if his mama there, his grandmama, innocent bystanders, little kids, babysitters, bill collectors, whatEVER! I'll leave his whole BLOCK filled with hot brass if I have to! AND YOU KNOW WHY? CAUSE I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK! ...you guys sure you don't want some breakfast? I got English muffins and peach jelly."
  • Though perhaps not as major a role as the others on this page, Jackson's dialogue as Mr. Olin, the hotel manager in 1408 is very memorable:

Mike Enslin: [into his tape recorder] General manager claims that the phantom in room interferes...
Gerald Olin: I have never used the word "phantom."
Mike Enslin: Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, spirit? Specter?
Gerald Olin: No, you misunderstand. Whatever's in 1408 is nothing like that.
Mike Enslin: Then what is it?
Gerald Olin: It's an evil fucking room.

    • Interestingly, the character in the original novel was a middle aged British man. Though the change is quite understandable: if some British guy walked up to you and said 'Don't go in the room!', you'd probably do it out of spite. Now if Samuel L Jackson told you 'Don't go in the fucking room'... You'd either have a really short movie or a really big Idiot Ball.
  • Played Danny Roman in The Negotiator.
    • "YOU WANT MY BLOOD?! TAKE MY BLOOD!"
    • "I AM TALKING! NOW DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT EVER DRESS UP LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL AND GET YA ASS SPANKED?!"
  • In Do the Right Thing, he played a character named Mister Senor Love Daddy.
    • Also played tragic crackhead Gator in Spike Lee's Jungle Fever, a role that got him a special award at Cannes.
    • And a loan shark in Spike Lee's Mo' Better Blues. Samuel L Jackson is one of many actors who have appeared in multiple movies of his.
  • Ray Arnold in Jurassic Park came before Jackson's popularity really took off, and was easily his least Badass role: He was a grouchy computer nerd with a bad nicotine addiction who got killed off-screen by velociraptors. (He wants you to hold onto your butts.)
  • No one's mentioned The Long Kiss Goodnight. Samuel L. Jackson plays a black private dick opposite amnesiac assassin Geena Davis. "Everyone knows when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of you and umption." They foil a False-Flag Operation in which the CIA plans to start a "new Cold War" by framing Muslim "terrorists" for a mass murder.
    • That's also a duck, not a dick.
      • He plays a big black dick.
    • "I TOOK LESSONS!"
    • "I woulda been here sooner, but I was thinking up that 'ham on rye' line."
    • He knows from your choice of hookers that you're not a rich man.
    • CAN'T KILL ME, MUTHAFUCKERS!!!
  • He apparently expressed interest in playing The Saint of Killers - arguably the most Badass character in fiction - if they ever make a Preacher (Comic Book) movie.
  • The Octopus in The Spirit. He pulls BFGs out of thin air and guns down Apaches. Those who believe the he is the only good thing about that movie are missing the point. Frank Miller wanted everyone to think that this movie is really damn weird. Just plain damn weird.
    • "I'm the Octopus bitch! I got eight of everything!"
  • Dr. Harry Adams in Sphere. (Are you afraid of dying, Norman?)
  • A Caveman's Valentine, which proves that the crazier his hair is, the more unstable of a character he will be.
    • Which we already knew from Unbreakable.
  • Appeared on an ABC special on money management, playing an author of self-help books who lost everything in the economic crash. His new catch phrase: "I'M BROKE AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!"
  • He is also a legendary youth hockey coach.
  • Astro Boy as Zog. He even gets a Samuel L. Jackson line:

Zog: I'm old school. (stomp!)

  • The Red Violin is the story of a violin from the 17th century, its various owners, and the different times it survived through. Who just happens to be an appraiser for a collection of violins, including the title instrument? SAMUEL L. MOTHERFUCKIN JACKSON.
    • And at the end of that movie he switches that out for a fake and gives the real one to his daughter. Because he's just that bad ass.
  • Interestingly, he played a No Celebrities Were Harmed version of Don King in The Great White Hype and it was one of his more subdued roles.
  • A crooked cop in Lakeview Terrace, where he abuses his neighbors with copious use of Screw the Rules, I Have Connections.
    • I'M THE POLICE! YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT I SAY!
    • YOU DIDN'T ASK MY PERMISSION TO PLANT THESE TREES!
  • He plays a rather laid-back role in Fresh, where he is the father of the protagonist and a speed-chess champion, though it didn't make him rich. At all.
  • He plays a muthafuckin' farmer who kidnaps a woman to her help in Black Snake Moan.
  • He plays a badass Cowboy Cop whose partner is played by Dwayne Johnson in The Other Guys. Until they get killed, and the movie's real protagonists step ahead.
  • He plays a high ranking NSA official, Augustus Gibbons, in XXX.
    • "I got these scars by putting foot to ass for my country".
      • What makes it badass is that he delivers it as a part of lecturing Ice Cube!!
  • Being a goddamn motherfucking cold badass doing Anti-crime adverts for the black community
  • In Unthinkable, which may be one of his most interesting performances, Sam Jackson plays a rogue interrogation expert of the Abu Ghraib Prison/Guantanamo Bay variety. The very first thing he does is slice off the the tip of a terror suspect's finger, and it gets worse from there. It's especially creepy when he goes outside to have a picnic with his wife, talk to his kids via his laptop, and then goes back in to electrocute the guy. He claims that it's all in the name of protecting the country, but he crosses the Moral Event Horizon when he unexpectedly slashes the throat of the terrorist's wife in front of him. Immediately following that, he threatens to torture the terrorist's two young children.
  • He plays Coach Carter in Coach Carter, pushing his basketball players to hell and back to make them winners.
    • "DING DING DING DING DING DING DING! Good answer! And because you gave such a good answer, and gave the coach attitude, you get the grand prize of FIVE HUNDRED PUSHUPS!"
  • He narrated a children's book about going to bed. Now, you might think this is out of character for Samuel L. Jackson, until you learned that the book is titled Go the Fuck to Sleep.
  • He also parodied Danny Glover's role in Lethal Weapon as Sgt. Luger in Loaded Weapon 1.
  • Also, he managed to push a terrible movie into So Bad It's Good territory by playing the Affably Evil villain in Arena.
  • Played Sargeant Hondo in SWAT

"Go break Fuller's heart"

  • Last but not least, Samuel L Jackson is God. That's right, in the audiobook "Inspired By... The Bible Experience", of all the 400 actors, actresses and other notables brought together to read the entire Bible, the one they get to portray God's voice in the New Testament is none other than Samuel L Jackson.

Does he look like a bitch?
"What?" *BANG!* "ACK!"
DOES. HE. LOOK. LIKE. A BITCH!?
"NOOOO!"

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