Series of tubes

"A series of tubes" is a phrase coined originally as an analogy by then-United States Senator Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) to describe the Internet in the context of opposing network neutrality.[1] On June 28, 2006, he used this metaphor to criticize a proposed amendment to a committee bill. The amendment would have prohibited Internet service providers such as AT&T, Comcast, Time Warner Cable and Verizon Communications from charging fees to give some companies' data a higher priority in relation to other traffic. The metaphor has been widely ridiculed, particularly because Stevens displayed an extremely limited understanding of the Internet, even though he was in charge of the Senate committee with the responsibility for regulating it.[2][3] Edward Felten, Princeton University professor of computer science, pointed out the unfairness of some criticisms of Stevens's wording, while maintaining that the underlying arguments were rather weak.[4]

Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens referred to the Internet as "a series of tubes".

Partial text of Stevens's comments
Ted Stevens's Quotes

Ten movies streaming across that, that Internet, and what happens to your own personal Internet? I just the other day got... an Internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday. I got it yesterday [Tuesday]. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the Internet commercially. [...] They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the Internet. And again, the Internet is not something that you just dump something on. It's not a big truck. It's a series of tubes. And if you don't understand, those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.[5]

Media commentary

On June 28, 2006, Public Knowledge government affairs manager Alex Curtis wrote a brief blog entry introducing the senator's speech and posted an MP3 recording.[1] The next day, the Wired magazine blog 27B Stroke 6 featured a lengthier post by Ryan Singel, which included Singel's transcriptions of some parts of Stevens's speech considered the most humorous.[5] Within days, thousands of other blogs and message boards posted the story.[5][6][7][8][9]

Most writers and commentators derisively cited several of Stevens's misunderstandings of Internet technology, arguing that the speech showed that he had formed a strong opinion on a topic which he understood poorly (e.g., referring to an e-mail message as "an Internet" and blaming bandwidth issues for an e-mail problem much more likely to be caused by mail server or routing issues). The story sparked mainstream media attention, including a mention in The New York Times.[10] The technology podcast This Week in Tech discussed the incident.[11]

According to The Wall Street Journal, as summarized by MediaPost commentator Ross Fadner, "'The Internet is a Series of Tubes!' spawned a new slogan that became a rallying cry for Net neutrality advocates. ... Stevens's overly simplistic description of the Web's infrastructure made it easy for pro-neutrality activists to label the other side as old and out-of-touch."[12] Several parodies of Stevens's speech have been created, usually consisting of samples taken from this speech with an added melody.[13]

Pop culture references

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart made multiple references to "Techno" Ted Stevens's "series of tubes" description;[14][15][16][17] as a result, Stevens has become well known as the person who once headed the committee charged with regulating the Internet. "I have a letter from a big scientist who said I was absolutely right in using the word 'tubes'," Stevens said to reporters in response to The Daily Show's coverage. When asked if he'd think about going on the show to debate Jon Stewart, Stevens replied, "I'd consider it."[18]

Google has included references to this in two of its products. Gears's about box once read "the gears that power the tubes" and Google Chrome had an about: easter egg at the address about:internets which displayed a screensaver of tubes (if Windows XP's SSPIPES.SCR is installed) with the page title "Don't Clog the Tubes!"[19][20] When "about:internets" was entered on a computer lacking that screensaver, the tab displayed a gray screen with the page title "The Tubes are Clogged!" This easter egg was removed as of the 2.0.159.1 release.[21] The documentation for developing Chrome extensions includes a near-verbatim quote of the "series of tubes" paragraph when describing its chrome.storage class.[22]

The 494th xkcd comic Secretary: Part 1[23] implicitly references this, when Cueball explains to the President "It's the tubes sir. They're clogged. We put too much stuff on them".

YouTuber Pyrocynical has a running series on his channel named "A Series of Tubes" (ASOT), the theme song of which is a remix of Stevens's words. The said remix song dates back from 2006 and was created by a user of the name manish on the YTMND website, where it garnered tremendous popularity.[24]

The last stage in the 2019 videogame My Friend Pedro is set on a physical representation of the Internet, which is shown as being made almost entirely out of tubes.

Tribute

Alexandra Petri of The Washington Post wrote a humorous article entitled "Sen. Stevens, the tubes salute you" after Stevens died in an airplane crash August 9, 2010:

And as people remember him, make ill-timed jests, and muse on his legacy—all in real time, in great profusion—I worry that they are disrupting the ability of people elsewhere to receive their Internets. But for us in the Facebook generation who weren't around for the first plane crash and know the Bridge to Nowhere primarily as an SNL punchline, the senator's legacy is in that series of tubes.[25]

gollark: Of all the stuff to run out of... I'm cancelling one experiment due to lack of Magis.
gollark: My experiments are today in about five hours; I'll post the codes/times when I get home.
gollark: I mean, autorefresher extensions are allowed, right?
gollark: Binary search or whatever.
gollark: With one refresh an hour I think you can narrow the time of death down to within a few seconds with... I don't know, quite a few... refreshes.

See also

References
  1. Curtis, Alex (June 28, 2006). "Senator Stevens Speaks on Net Neutrality". Public Knowledge.
  2. "United States Senator Ted Stevens : About Senator Stevens". U.S. Senate. Archived from the original on January 3, 2009.
  3. Moore, Matthew (September 17, 2009). "Google easter eggs: 15 best hidden jokes". The Daily Telegraph. Retrieved 30 May 2010. His clumsy words, in a speech to a Senate committee opposing network neutrality, were seen to illustrate the poor understanding of some politicians about how the internet worked.
  4. Felten, Ed (July 17, 2006). "Taking Stevens Seriously". Freedom to Tinker.
  5. Singel, Ryan; Poulsen, Kevin (June 29, 2006). "Your Own Personal Internet". Threat Level. Wired. Retrieved 2006-08-24.
  6. "Sen. Stevens' hilariously awful explanation of the Internet". BoingBoing. July 2, 2006.
  7. "How The Internet Works - With Tubes". Slashdot. July 3, 2006.
  8. "Sen. Stevens explains the Internet: "And again, the Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes"". FARK.com. July 3, 2006.
  9. "Ted Stevens on the internets". Daily Kos. July 2, 2006.
  10. Mitchell, Dan (July 8, 2006). "Tail is wagging the internet dog". The New York Times.
  11. "This Week in Tech 60 A Series of Tubes | TWiT.TV". TWiT.tv. Retrieved 2016-10-13.
  12. Fadner, Ross (August 8, 2006). "Immortalizing Ted Stevens, Net Neutrality for Posterity". MediaPost.
  13. superfunky59 (2006-12-23), Series of Tubes Music Video, retrieved 2018-03-28
  14. "Party Pooper". The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Comedy Central. July 12, 2006.
  15. "Headlines - Internet". The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Comedy Central. July 12, 2006.
  16. "Net Neutrality Act". The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Comedy Central. July 19, 2006.
  17. "Phone Call with Ted Stevens". The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Comedy Central. April 16, 2007.
  18. "Senator Ted Stevens will defend his "tubes" remarks on The Daily Show". Yahoo! News. July 27, 2006.
  19. "Google Chrome's Full List of Special about: Pages". Lifehacker. September 3, 2008.
  20. "about:internets". Robert Accettura's Fun With Wordage. September 3, 2008.
  21. Larson, Mark; Kersey, Jason (2009-01-26). "Release Notes: 2.0.159.0". The Chromium Projects. Google. Retrieved 8 January 2013.
  22. "chrome.storage". Google. Archived from the original on 11 August 2015. Retrieved 11 August 2015.
  23. Munroe, Randall (October 27, 2008). "Secretary: Part 1". xkcd. Retrieved 24 March 2019.
  24. https://ytmnd.com/sites/529547/profile
  25. Petri, Alexandra (August 10, 2010). "Sen. Stevens, the tubes salute you". PostPartisan. The Washington Post.
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