N'écoutez pas, mesdames !

N'écoutez pas, mesdames ! is a three act comedy by Sacha Guitry, premiered at théâtre de la Madeleine on 23rd May 1942.

Original cast
gollark: <@!139859208592949248> You are trapped in a labyrinth. There are some doors. One of them leads out. One of them leads into a lethal cryoapiary.There are two gollarks in front of the doors. One gollark speaks the truth, one gollark always lies. You suddenly notice other gollarks appearing. The other gollark tells the truth or lies at random. The other² gollark is truthful iff your question does not refer to itself or other gollarks. The other³ gollark calls in orbital laser strikes against those it perceives as asking tricky questions. The other⁴ gollark is truthful iff it predicts (with 99.6% historical accuracy) that you will consider it (one of) the falsehood-telling gollark(s). A subset of the gollarks will say "bee" and "apioform" instead of "true" or "false", but you do not know which or which words "bee" and "apioform" correspond to. The other⁴ gollark just tells you the first bit of the SHA256 hash of your question in UTF-8. Another gollark appears to be randomly materializing doors. The other⁵ gollark will cooperate with you iff you cooperate with CooperateBot/angel. Yet another gollark will tell the truth iff you know what iff means. The final gollark appears to be fiddling with the orbital mind control laser making you know this.What do you do?
gollark: It has port 9999 forwarded now.
gollark: On my raspberry pi.
gollark: Well, yes, but I don't know how to use it without awful merge conflicts and it isn't very realtime.
gollark: We could, accursedly, use sshfs to the HNode™.


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