Jack Szwergold

Jack Szwergold is a comedy writer and the Webby-Award-winning first webmaster for the news parody publication The Onion.

Szwergold convinced The Onion Editor and Publisher Scott Dikkers that a Web site would increase readership, and The Onion's site launched in May 1996. The site has won multiple Webby Awards and other industry and media accolades.

In January 2001 Jack Szwergold left The Onion and returned to Brooklyn, NY, where he currently resides and juggles a career working as a web developer and as a writer. In addition to his work for The Onion, Jack has written for Nickelodeon (TV channel), National Public Radio, Modern Humorist, Suck.com, Wired magazine, Mother Jones magazine, and Green Magazine.

Books
  • Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source (contributing writer and illustrator) (1999, ISBN 0-609-80461-8)
  • The Onion's Finest News Reporting, Volume 1 (contributing writer and illustrator) (2000, ISBN 0-609-80463-4)
  • Dispatches from the Tenth Circle (contributing writer and illustrator) (2001, ISBN 0-609-80834-6)
gollark: Not *just* factories, you need all the buildings in that list (with scale/density options) and more.
gollark: "Flat" would just be a "home" in a high-density/high-size thing.
gollark: You should probably have size and density things actually.
gollark: Okay, more: barn, farm, greenhouse, shed, museum, arena of some kind, city hall (or other governance building), embassy, post office, granary, bunker, missile launch facility, airport, taxi station, shipyard, and gym.
gollark: Okay then. Buildings which could exist: house, office, shop, mall, factory, mine, school, police station, SCP containment warehouse, regular warehouse, bus station, bus *stop* (sort of a building), underground train network stop, non-underground train network station, fire station, fire removal station, power plant, apiary, sewage treatment facility, garbage dump, garbage incinerator™, hospital, clinic (small hospital), plaza, park (sort of building), data center, hotel, prison, retirement home, theater, retirement home, restaurant, cafe, bowling alley, car wash, self-storage facility, seaport, car repair place, car dealership, bookshop, library, scientific laboratory, bank, substation, *nuclear* power plant, university, radio/TV/whatever transmitter, cell tower, [more coming].You should probably have a mechanic so you can have, say, apartment buildings composed of multiple "houses", but more generalized.
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