After lots of futzing around with all of the settings, I finally managed to get APEX to work on a remote server. To get that to happen, I had to grant my user the SYSDBA role, and I also included myself in the ORADBA group on that machine. I can log in to APEX at http://computername:8085/apex. (Note that I used port 8085 instead of 8080 - there seemed to be an Apache listener using 8080).
My question is, how do I connect to APEX without using the remote desktop. That is, VPNing to the machine, and just opening the browser on my local computer and typing http://computername:8085/apex. I've looked all over and tried numerous approaches, including
EXEC DBMS_XDB.SETLISTENERLOCALACCESS(FALSE);
Any ideas?