The 'Connection Refused' error message generally means that nothing is listening on the relevant interface:port, so the first thing to do is check and if required fix this. To find out where your sshd is listening run the command
netstat -tnlp | grep sshd
tcp 0 0 192.168.10.188:2222 0.0.0.0:* LISTEN 29929/sshd
tcp 0 0 192.168.10.188:22 0.0.0.0:* LISTEN 29929/sshd
Notice that this shows sshd running on ports 22 and 2222 on a single IP address. What you see will most likely be different but you should be able to figure it out and see where your sshd is listening.
If sshd is not listening on the IP address that corresponds to your host then you can add a ListenAddress directive to your /etc/ssh/sshd_config
file
ListenAddress 11.22.33.44
then restart sshd.
If your sshd is listening on a non standard port e.g. 2222 then you can use
sftp -p 2222 joe@yourhost
to connect to the system. If you want to use the standard port 22
then you can add a new port directive in /etc/ssh/sshd_config
Port 22
Port 2222
then restart sshd.