Yes, your hosting provider is necessarily able to see your SSL private key, if the fancy takes him to do so. Because that SSL keys is used by his software running on his machines. (This still holds in the case of a hosted virtual machine -- in practice, a malicious host could simply take a snapshot of your running VM and analyse it at his leisure, and you would not know it.)
But note that, for the very same reason, the hosting provider can see all your site contents, i.e. everything that the SSL protects, so the possible exposure of the private key does not substantially change things here.
If you had your own hardware, and the hosting provider simply rented space, power and network bandwidth, then you might hope for some level of privacy and security against the provider. The provider would still have physical access to your hardware (it is located at his premises, not yours) but breaking into a physical machine takes a bit more effort than making a VM snapshot, and, more importantly, is hard to do without leaving physical traces. It really depends on how much the evil hosting provider is intent on doing things discreetly.
For very sensitive machines (e.g. a Certification Authority), you could rent an isolated cage, with padlocks for which you have the key (not the provider), and with in-cage security cameras that continuously send pictures to your remote control facility. That way, you could gain some reasonable assurance that the provider is not trying to physically break into your machines. Of course, this kind of setup tends to be expensive.