Kumdang-2

Kumdang-2 is such a pile of unbelievable crap that you wonder why they even try anymore a "miracle drug", manufactured by HRH Kim III of the Hermit Kingdom of True Korea. In another exposé of Western imperialist dogmatist "science" and "medicine", North Korea has produced Kumdang-2, the envy of Big Pharma.

Against allopathy
Alternative medicine
Clinically unproven
v - t - e

Oh leader, what does the drug do?

The answer to the question everybody's been looking for! Yes, comrades, according to the state propaganda ever-reliable KCNA,File:Wikipedia's W.svg the General's drug is so powerful that it can eradicate your memories of being tortured whilst interrogated; destroy capitalist degeneracy; cure cancer;[1] Ebola; AIDS; MERS;File:Wikipedia's W.svg SARS;File:Wikipedia's W.svg[2] diabetes; loss of appetite; drug addiction; stomach cramps; inflammation; arthritis; infertility; neurosis; insomnia; epilepsy; tuberculosis; hepatitis; bird flu[3] and "harm from the use of computers",[4] an incredibly common condition in North Korea – all with no side effects![3] According to the Independent:

The dictatorship [ever-victorious workers' paradise], which is known for making far-fetched claims about its achievements, says that the medicine will apparently be injectable and will be known by the name of Kumdang-2. [...]

The drug's website cites a medical study in Africa where the drug was tested on HIV positive patients. It records that every single participant in the trial noted an improvement, with 56 per cent being completely cured and 44 per cent noting a considering improvement in their condition.

The North Korean scientists also revealed that the drug is capable of curing 'a number of cancers', but did not divulge which ones or provide details of the medical trials which support this claim. [much to the American imperialists' hatred].[1]

Serious note

One special ingredient in this mix – Asian ginseng – has been peddled by a number of quacks herbal medicine experts[5] as a panacea. However, even the NCCIH lists a number of side effects of the herb, and says:

Although Asian ginseng has been widely studied for a variety of uses, research results to date do not conclusively support health claims associated with the herb. Only a few large, high-quality clinical trials have been conducted. Most evidence is preliminary—i.e., based on laboratory research or small clinical trials.[6]

Ingredients
  • Ginseng grown from fertilizer;[1]
  • Toxic Rare-earth elements;[2]
  • Revisionism
  • "Micro-quantities of gold and platinum";[2]
  • And a large dollop of bullshit!
gollark: See, sleep actually works using timers, and I think those are limited to one tick minimum.
gollark: I doubt it.
gollark: An RCE bug so fast is impressive.
gollark: However, from the perspective of "program should match the spec of what you want it to do" it would be a bug, unfortunately.
gollark: Clever!

References
  1. Fenton, Siobhan. Kim Jong-un claims to have cured Aids, Ebola and cancer with single miracle drug The Independent
  2. North Korea claims 'cure' for Mers, Aids and Ebola, Associated Press
  3. Fecht, Sarah. North Korea Has Found The Cure For AIDS, Ebola, Cancer, And Bird Flu Popular Science
  4. North Korea claims Kumdang-2 vaccine cures MERS, AIDS, Ebola and 'harm from the use of computers'
  5. Or whatever they call themselves now...
  6. Asian Ginseng: What the Science Says, National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health.
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