Kissing Hank's Ass

Kissing Hank's Ass is an analogy highlighting the absurdities of blind faith in general and some of the basic tenets of Christianity specifically. The story was written by James Huber and is viewable at his website;[2] a downloadable pamphlet was also available. The story has become quite popular in atheist circles, and of course there are the obligatory adaptations posted to YouTube and similar video services.

This might be
Skepticism
But we're not sure
Who's asking?
v - t - e
“”Why do Christians assume that the parable 'Kissing Hank's Ass' is about them?
—James Huber, Questions for Bible-Thumpers[1]

Plot summary

The story is about a conversation between two adherents of Hank and a stranger whose door they knocked on. The "Hankites" explain that Hank is a philanthropist who wants to give everyone one million dollars, but as the story unfolds it becomes clear that there are many rather strange conditions attached. Though nobody is allowed to see Hank, anyone who wants the million dollars must figuratively kiss Hank's ass, and must live according to Hank's rules—all without question. The rules are a mixture of common sense, nonsense, contradiction, hate, and pointless, esoteric dietary requirements. Furthermore, people only get the million dollars after they have left town, and Hank's rules forbid people who have left town from communicating with those in town, so people still in town must take everything on trust. People who decline Hank's generous offer will get the shit kicked out of them by Hank, while his loyal followers laugh and enjoy the spectacle.

gollark: Oh, it also says it's done 25.4TB of reads and 17.4TB of writes.
gollark: Hmm, apparently "elements in grown defect list" is "bad blocks" and this is actually quite bad, fun.
gollark: It has 68513 hours of power on time, 1986 power on/off cycles out of a rated 10000, and 4 "elements in grown defect list".
gollark: Ah, according to the data I got off it, my drive was manufactured in 2012. Which is something like threeish years after the server came into existence, as far as I know.
gollark: Also, there was some admittedly small-scale testing by some computer review company and SSDs could mostly go significantly beyond their endurance ratings and manage hundreds of terabytes written. But also did tend to fail suddenly and inexplicably instead of having a graceful failure.

See also

References
  1. Questions for Bible-Thumpers (archived from the original)
  2. Kissing Hank's Ass by James Huber
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