Ferengi (Star Trek Supplement)
Ferengi /fəˈrɛŋɡi/
Physical Description
Ferengis are small humanoid creatures with very large ears. They have lobed foreheads, large, ridged noses, ascending ribs, upper and lower lungs, and a four-lobed brain that cannot be read by the telepathic powers. Ferengi teeth resemble jagged spikes, and they use a hand-held "tooth sharpener" to maintain them. The ears are erogenous zones; Ferengi are seen to take sensual delight when their ears are stimulated, described by the word oo-mox. The Ferengi also colloquially use the word "lobes" much as the words "brains" or "guts" are used in modern English (as in, "I didn't think you had the lobes for that!"). The ears are also used as a colloquial description of a Ferengi, similar to the use of "ass" in modern English, as in "If he doesn't show his ears soon, we're leaving without him".
Generally, whenever Ferengi (at least males) are assaulted, injured, or in some kind of general distress, they emit a shrill scream.
History
Society
The Ferengi are a race known for their constant efforts to swindle unwary customers into unfair deals. They and their culture are characterized by a mercantile obsession with profit and trade. They are also known for their business acumen and for rampant misogyny, sometimes forcing their women into the sex trade.
Their home planet, Ferenginar, is the center of the Ferengi Alliance and is governed by the Grand Nagus and a Commerce Authority made primarily of the Council of Economic Advisors (formerly Board of Liquidators). Like most of their culture, their religion is also based on the principles of capitalism: they offer prayers and monetary offerings to a "Blessed Exchequer" in hopes of entering the "Divine Treasury" upon death, and fear an afterlife spent in the "Vault of Eternal Destitution” The Two Hundred Eighty-Five Rules of Acquisition compose the sacred code on which all of Ferengi society is based. They were first written down by Gint, the first Grand Nagus. The title "Rules of Acquisition" was chosen as a clever marketing ploy (since the rules are almost universally considered to be merely guidelines by Ferengi and subject to very loose interpretation depending on the situation) and Gint numbered his first rule one hundred sixty-two to create a demand for the other one hundred sixty-one Rules that had not yet been created.
The Ferengi concepts of the afterlife are a mirror of their pursuit of wealth in life. When a Ferengi dies, he is said to meet the Blessed Exchequer, who reviews the financial statements of that Ferengi's entire life. If he earned a profit, he is ushered into Ferengi heaven: the Divine Treasury, where the Celestial Auctioneers allow him to bid on a new life. Ferengi who were not financially successful in life are damned to the Vault of Eternal Destitution.
When a Ferengi prays or bows in reverence, he holds his hands in a bowl shape with his wrists together. A typical Ferengi prayer begins with this phrase: "Blessed Exchequer, whose greed is eternal, allow this bribe to open your ears and hear this plea from your most humble debtor." As is typical, this is accompanied by placing a slip of latinum into a small statue made in the Exchequer's likeness.
Ferengi Names
Ferengi names are typically one syllable long. (Zek, Quark, Rom, Nog)
Ferengi Traits
Ability Score Increase. Your Wisdom increases by 2, your Intelligence increases by 2.
Age.
Alignment. Due to their desire to acquire, the Ferengi often have a neutral alignment. As the rules of acquisition say, "War is good for business." and "Peace is good for business."
Size. The Ferengi are a humanoid species, somewhat smaller than the average human, usually reaching approximately 5 feet in height. Your size is Small.
Speed. Your base walking speed is 25 feet.
Ferengi Cowardice. Ferengi are significantly weaker than the average human (or at least as having a disdain for physical combat that gives that illusion). Ferengi have a great disdain for fair combat which causes them to appear physically weaker than they are (they give up if they have no clear advantage). You have disadvantage on all checks and saving throws against being frightened. On a fail, you must scream.
Superior Lobes. Ferengi have large ears, which are more pronounced in males than in females, giving them an excellent sense of hearing. You can hear shuffling or breathing if another creature is within 90 feet of you, even if they are stealthy or invisible. You can make out whispers if you understand the language if the creature is within 60 feet of you. You can also sense sudden atmospheric and altitude changes. An ear infection is excruciatingly painful and can prove fatal to an otherwise healthy Ferengi if they do not seek the appropriate treatment in time.
Ferenginar Immune System. Ferengi have a strong immune system because of the rainy conditions on Ferenginar, you are resistant to poison, and immune to disease.
Languages. Common and Ferengi. Ferengi is an unusual nonlinear language. Each word could have one of a dozen meanings depending on where it is in the sentence, even the writing system is nonlinear and is read from the center of the page outward. Ferengi writing is meant to resemble a flow chart. As a result of the rainy climate, the Ferengi language has 178 words for "rain"
Random Height and Weight
Base Height | Height Modifier* | Base Weight | Weight Modifier** |
---|---|---|---|
′ ″ | + | lb. | × () lb. |
*Height = base height + height modifier |
Suggested Characteristics
1d111 | Result |
---|---|
1 | Once you have their money, never give it back. |
2 | Never spend more than you must. |
3 | Profit has limits. Loss has none. |
4 | Life's no fair. (How else would you turn a profit?) |
5 | Count your coin. |
6 | He that speaks ill of wares will buy them. |
7 | Instinct plus opportunity equals profit. |
8 | Necessity may be the mother of invention, but Profit is the father. |
9 | Gold isn't the only thing that shines. |
10 | Anything worth doing is worth doing for coin. |
11 | War is good for business. |
12 | Peace is good for business. |
13 | A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one. |
14 | There is no honor in poverty. |
15 | Anything stolen is pure profit. |
16 | There's always a way out. |
17 | A bargain usually isn't. |
18 | Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. |
19 | Wise men can hear profit in the wind and find it in the dust. |
20 | When someone says “it's not about the coin,” they're lying. |
21 | Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers. |
22 | Money talks. An excessive amount of money talks loudest. |
23 | Only negotiate when you're certain to profit. |
24 | The earth is full of the trusting. |
25 | Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent. |
26 | A good pair of ears will wring dry a hundred tongues. |
27 | Their coin is only yours when they can't get it back. |
28 | Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit. |
29 | Wish not so much to live long, as to live well. |
30 | The powerful don't come to buy, they come to take. |
31 | A smart customer is not a good customer. |
32 | Revenge is profitless. |
33 | “Mine” is better than “ours”. |
34 | If you must endure, make yourself comfortable. |
35 | Always know what you're buying. |
36 | A friend is not a friend that asks for a discount. |
37 | A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he's a customer. |
38 | Wounds heal, debts are forever. |
39 | A man in need never does anything for free. |
40 | You can't free a fish from water. |
41 | Don't pay until you have the goods. |
42 | Respect is good. Good is better. |
43 | Know your enemies, but do business with them always. |
44 | Beware men who don't sleep. |
45 | Tell them what they want to hear. |
46 | Beware small expenses. A leak will sink a ship. |
47 | Everything that has no owner needs one. |
48 | Borrow on a handshake. Lend in writing. |
49 | A truly good customer is worth their weight in gold. |
50 | There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. |
51 | Enough is never enough. |
52 | Never take the last coin, but be sure to get the rest. |
53 | Never bluff a Goliath. |
54 | Never gamble with wizards and rogues. |
55 | Never admit blame when there's someone else to implicate. |
56 | Never confess when a bribe will do. |
57 | Never buy anything you can't sell. |
58 | Never use coin where words will do. |
59 | Never purchase anything that has been promised to go up in value. |
60 | Never do something you can make someone else do for you. |
61 | Never spend your own money when you can spend someone else's. |
62 | Never trust a dying man. Listen, but don't trust. |
63 | Never trust the hardworking, but never fail to exploit them. |
64 | Never begin any transaction on an empty stomach. |
65 | Never take hospitality from someone worse off than yourself. |
66 | Never lie where a convenient truth will do. |
67 | Never let the competition know what you're thinking. |
68 | If you would keep a secret from an enemy, don't tell it to a friend. |
69 | Pursue wealth. Women come after. |
70 | There are three proven ways to ruin yourself: gambling is the fastest, women are the sweetest, banks are the most reliable. |
71 | Never sleep with the boss's wife unless you pay him first. |
72 | Never sleep with the boss's mother. |
73 | Both sex and profit never last long enough. |
74 | She can touch you, but never your coins. |
75 | A wife is a luxury. A smart accountant is a necessity. |
76 | If your dance partner wants to lead at all costs, let them. Then ask another to dance. |
77 | Only play down your intelligence, never up. |
78 | The riskier the road, the greater the profit. |
79 | Power without profit is like a ship without sails. |
80 | Compassion, conscience, family, friendship...none are substitutes for coin and none come without a price. |
81 | Get the money first and let the buyer worry about their wares. |
82 | Home is where the heart is, and profits are anywhere but. |
83 | Occasionally declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. |
84 | Respect every race and their cultures; they'll be more likely to give you their coin. |
85 | If it works, sell it. If it works well, sell it for more. If it doesn't work at all, quadruple the price and sell it as an antique. |
86 | He's a fool who makes his healer his heir. Never trust your beneficiary. |
87 | Nature decays, but gold is forever. |
88 | Small print, big risk. |
89 | A businessman is not responsible for the stupidity of his customers. |
90 | The flimsier the produce, the higher the price. |
91 | The sharp knife cuts quickly. Act without delay. |
92 | Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder. |
93 | Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive. |
94 | Always ask for the cost first. |
95 | A thirsty customer is good for profit. A drunk one isn't. |
96 | Beware relatives bearing gifts. |
97 | Whenever asked if you're a god, the answer is YES. |
98 | Genius without opportunity is like gold in the mine. |
99 | It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door. |
100 | Sell a man a fish, you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you lose a steady customer. |
101 | If they accept the first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much. |
102 | Stay neutral in conflicts and sell to both sides. |
103 | Profit is like a bed of roses, it has a few thorns. |
104 | Don't trust anyone who trusts you. |
105 | If you can't sell it, sit on it, but never give it away. |
106 | The wealthy can afford everything except a conscience. |
107 | Gambling is like the way to power. The only way to win is to cheat and not get caught. |
108 | When in doubt, lie demand more money kill them, take their money, run and blame someone else. |
109 | Business is like war, it's important to recognize the winner. |
110 | Win or lose, there's always alcohol. |
111 | All rules contained herein are subject to change without notice and are subject to interpretation. The owner of this rulebook is not responsible for any damages or loss incurred by following the rules contained herein. |
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