Your Vampires Suck/Quotes
Well, you can still be destroyed, but forget the books and the movies. Garlic? It's worthless. Cross? Pfft... shove it right up their asses. A stake? Only if it catches you in the heart, and then it just paralyzes you. Running water? Ah, that's no problem. I bathe... O-occasionally.
—Smiling Jack, Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines
You listen to me, Twilight - My god, is that really the name you picked? Twilight? Y'know I lived that idea first, right? (And my vampire was so much better.)
—Buffy, Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 8 #33
Bela Lugosi's dead, and so am I. But what's left of Bela is rotting in a pine coffin somewhere, while I have the opportunity to sit here on the balcony, enjoy my drink, and look at you. Correct me if I am presumptuous, but I suspect I have the better end of the deal.
—Opening to Vampire: The Masquerade sourcebook
Oh God, I'm Pattinson!
—Dean, Supernatural, "Live Free or Twi-Hard"
Edward: (There's a knock at the door) Hold on. (goes to the door) Who is it?
Alucard: Oh, you know. (Shoots Edward about a hundred times through the door) A REAL fucking vampire!
But a real vampire would have a hunch
To never fall in love with your high school lunch!