Who Shot JFK?/Quotes

"First of all, Kennedy was assassinated, which was traumatic enough in itself but was made even worse by the fact that we never did find out for sure what happened, which means that for the rest of our lives we're going to be opening People magazine and reading articles about yet another conspiracy buff claiming to have conclusive proof that Lee Harvey Oswald was actually working for Roy Orbison or the Nabisco Corporation or whatever."

—Dave Barry, Dave Barry Slept Here

"How many fucking people does it take to shoot a president?!"

—Harry Coin, Illuminatus

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Santa Claus shot JFK. Hey, where are those drinks?"

—Cole MacGrath, In Famous