We Want Our Jerk Back/Quotes

Homer: Well, if you wanted people to love you, you sure blew it with that insane rampage. (Mr. Burns sighs) But, you know what? To be loved, you have to be nice to people, every day. But to be hated, you don't have to do squat!

Burns: You know, perhaps you're right! I got so swept over the notion of being liked, I completely forgot who I am. I'm a selfish old crank, and that fits me like a Speedo.

—The Simpsons, "Monty Can't Buy Me Love".

Bender: I AM BENDER. PLEASE INSERT GIRDER.

Fry: Poor Bender. Without his brain he's become all quiet and helpful. We've got to go to the Central Bureaucracy and get that disk back!

Amy: Why?

(Beat)

Leela: Well, those arguments aside, we're still going.

—Futurama,, "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back"

Do something, Joel! This aggressive niceness is making me feel really uncomfortable!

—Crow T. Robot, Mystery Science Theater 3000

Jon: You just have to restore Garfield's memory, doc. He doesn't beat up on Odie. He doesn't claw the furniture. He's not lazy and obnoxious.
Liz: Are you sure you want me to do this?

Jon: Come to think of it..

—'Garfield

You test my nerves,
It makes my stronger,
So can't you bother me

A litte bit longer?

—"So Long," End Credits Song to Winnie the Pooh

Garfield: People don't want nice. People want consistency.

Yami: "Okay, cut that out."
Kaiba: "Cut what out?"
Yami: "That whole "happy" thing. I’m not buying it."
Kaiba: "I really don’t know what you mean."
Yami: "Everyone knows that Seto Kaiba is an obsessive egomaniacal scumbag. The only reason you’re playing this game, is to prove you’re the best."

Kaiba: "Actually, I’m just playing for fun."

Yami: "Seriously?"

Kaiba: "I love playing games with my friends."

Yami: "O-okay stop that."

Kaiba: "Especially my closest friends."

Yami: "You’re freaking me out here!"

Kaiba: "Like you, Yugi."

Yami: "...Who the hell are you?"

Kaiba: "I’m Seto Kaiba. The nicest guy on the face of the planet."

(Yami starts laughing, then Kaiba joins in)

Kaiba: "(still laughing) Oh, it feels so good to laugh!"

Yami: "(still laughing) I’m going to kill you in your sleep."

—Yu-Gi-Oh: Season Zero Abridged, Episode 2