Van Helsing/Funny

• After Frankenstein's Monster was forced outside and into a horse carriage:

Frankenstein's Monster: By exposing me, you have condemned me! ME AND ALL OF HUMANITY!!! (Gabriel and Anna simply close the door on him)

Carl: Is that a man?

Van Helsing: Seven men, parts of them actually.

• One of the brief conversations between Velken and Dracula:

Velken: I would rather die than help you!
Dracula: Oh, don't be boring. Everyone that says that dies.

• A good portion of the fight scene between Van Helsing and Mr. Hyde. Y'know, when it wasn't Nightmare Fuel.
• Dracula and Igor after the werewolf returns and Igor starts attacking it with an electrified prong:

Dracula: Igor?
Igor: Yes, master?
Dracula: Why do you torment that thing so?
Igor: It's what I do.

• After breaking into the castle:

Van Helsing: You are taking us to Dracula.
Igor: No. I'm not.
(Van Helsing slams him against a wall, hard)
Igor: Yes. I am.

• • Before this, when the heroes see Igor passing by, you can hear him complaining about his master -- "Igor do this, Igor do that!"
  • Even better is the exchange immediately after Van Helsing grabs Igor.

Van Helsing: Give me one good reason not to kill you.
Igor: Well...I...uh...

• A drive-by hilarious quote--after Carl tests the nitroglycerin, you can hear one of the priests in the background indignantly shouting: "What in the name of Allah is wrong with you?!"

Carl: The air is THICK with envy around here...

• Van Helsing ending his Sherlock Scan of what Frankenstein's Monster looks like with this exchange:

Van Helsing: (rattling off the monster's features)...and he has three copper teeth.
Anna: How do you know he has three copper teeth? (As Frankenstein's monster is coming up behind her)

Van Helsing: (quickly) Because he's standing right behind you MOVE!

• From the gag reel:

Dracula: I give you... VAN HALEN!

• From the animated prologue; the amazing holy water super soaker.