Twin Blades

Twin Blades is a simple beat 'em up originally released as an iPhone app game and shortly after as an Xbox Live Indie game.

There is no real plot other than what is implied by the action: A bunch of dead guys are attacking and one rather suggestively-dressed nun with a scythe in one hand and a magical gun in the other is straight-up kicking their asses. For 31 days straight.

It's simple and the balance is a little off (so far), but it's fun, and the action gets quite intense as the zombie hordes choke the screen. For one buck (on the iPhone) or three (on the Xbox), it's a fine way to whittle away the time. The official website is here.

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This game has examples of:

• Action Dress Rip: The heroine's skirt has an extraordinarily high cut to allow for easier movement. Seriously, there's no other motive for her to be flashing that much leg.
• Beauty Is Never Tarnished: When slain, the heroine simply slumps to her knees and collapses, as if exhausted. Contrast what happens to everything she fights against...
• Big in Japan: This was the no. 1 most-downloaded app in Japan at one time.
• Bleached Underpants: In a manner of speaking. The heroine was inspired by an old Italian nun-themed porno, but to what extent remains unknown.
• Bloody Hilarious: Zombies burst into bloody chunks when you finish them off with the scythe, and likewise have unique death animations when fried, frozen, or nuked.
• Church Militant: The heroine is well-armed, but she looks pretty amicable.
• Clothing Damage: When hit by a melee attack, the sound effect is one of cloth ripping, though there's no representation of it on the heroine.
• Excuse Plot: Averted... in that the plot was cut entirely to speed development time and keep the action going.
• Fan Service: The heroine, full stop.
• Game Breaker: You purchase weapons when you save up enough for them. However, there's nothing stopping you from skipping updating a few days and then buying the Holy Gun, which will erase everything onscreen instantly until the month is half-over. Then you can upgrade...
• Goddamn Bats: By the time you get past day 20, everything. But helmeted zombies are the worst.
• Guide Dang It: Lots of people missed that there's a second tab in the upgrade shop that upgrades the nun's non-gun abilities, including melee damage and health, as well as unlocking a vitally-important down-stab attack.
• Holy Hand Grenade: The nun's energy-fueled gun can shoot a variety of zombie-blasting shots:
  • A simple pistol.
  • A machine gun.
  • A flamethrower.
  • A freeze ray.
  • A grenade launcher.
  • A beam of holy light nicknamed the nuke.
• Naughty Nuns: Hey, why not?
• Nintendo Hard: The game starts off easy, and then the ambulatory corpses just keep on rising... it doesn't help that you'll be fully upgraded long before you reach the final day, and they keep getting tougher.
• Non-Indicative Name: The heroine has one blade and one gun. The subtitle, "Reaping Vanguard," is more accurate.
• Nun-Too-Holy: The heroine is a nun in a red, high-cut habit with a plunging neckline who kills zombies for... some reason.
• Oh Crap: What you'll be saying as zombies start emerging by the dozen in later days.
• Porn Without Plot: Plot? Ehhh... we'll patch it in later. (Due for the end of February, as it happens.)
• RPG Elements: You can upgrade your weapons and the nun's base abilities by paying in zombie hearts.
• Scenery Porn: The gorgeous background paintings.
• Scrappy Mechanic: Getting grappled by zombies plunges your health to nothing lickety-quick. It's also easy to accidentally get grappled if a zombie sneaks up on you. Incidentally, this only happens in the Xbox version. Thanks a lot, Press Start!
• Sinister Scythe: The heroine drags a massive scythe behind her for hacking zombies to bits.
• Sugar Apocalypse: The bright, colorful, cartoony backgrounds and heroine are threatened by dweeby/gruesome zombies who blow up quite impressively upon re-death.
• Word of God: has supplied us with what little we know about the story.
• Zombie Apocalypse: Thirty-one straight days of walkin' dead.