Transformers Animated/Quotes

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Humans

Sari

• First I lose my dad, and now you guys?

• What? It's not like you built Megatron in your lab.

• YOU BUILT MEGATRON IN YOUR LAB?!!

• I mean, it's not like you lost my key.

• YOU LOST MY KEY?!!

• Bumblebee?

• Cool!

• Optimus! NO! (from "Megatron Rising Part 2")

• I can't stop myself from blowing everything up! (from "Tranwarped Part 3")

Captain Fanzone

• This is why I hate machines!

• I got a way with machines!

• This is why I hate kids!

Issac Sumdac

• Oh, dear, this is all my fault. (from "Megatron Rising")

• Sari, we...need to talk. (from "A Bridge Too Close Part 2")

• The Techno Organic must be destroyed.

Porter C Powell

• May I remind you that is Sumdac property? Leave them!

• Sorry, Mr. Black, even the prisons won't give you test subjects.

• We're cutting our losses.

Meltdown

• Prepare for your extreme makeover!

Angry Archer

• You are...my partner in crime! They call me Angry Archer.

• We steal from the rich and give to the poor—namely, ourselves.

• Give me back those jewels!

• Not tools, jewels!

• Those are spools, not jewels. You know, those sparkly things?

Nanosec

• I ain't nobody's errand-boy...uuunless the price is right.

Slo-Mo

• Ooh, I like a man who works fast!

Autobots

Optimus Prime

• Welcome everyone! Are you feeling well? My name is Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. Eh?... You can't remember me? Well, then I'll tell you one more time. My name is Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots. Pleased to meet you all! Well, Transformers Animated is about to begin! TRANSFORM! (Japanese opening credits intro for "Transform and Roll Out Part 1")

• Autobots, Transform and Roll out!

• My name is Optimus Prime and I am prepared to sacrifice my life to defend the Allspark.

• (dying) So this is like to be a hero. (from "Transform and Roll Out Part 3")

• Prowl, no! Wait for my signal!

• (After founding out Blackarachnia is Elita-1) Elita-1?

• (to Megatron) YOU WANT POWER?!! HAVE YOUR FILL!! (from "Megatron Rising Part 2")

• NO ONE EXCEPT ME! (from "Megatron Rising Part 2")

• Sentinel you have to stop them they are luring into a decepticon trap.

• That's not your call to make Bumblebee. (from "Predacons Rising")

• Did you just made that one up? (from "Predacons Rising")

• There is no such thing as a "Primer Prime"! (from "Predacons Rising")

• Let him go Blackarachnia. (from "Predacons Rising")

• (as a human, driving his fire engine form) I have to hand it to the humans. Driving is much more difficult than it looks! (from "Human Error Part 2")

• (under Soundwave's mind control) The Techno Organic must be destroyed. (from "Human Error Part 2")

• You know, maybe Autobots weren't meant to fly after all. (from "Endgame Part 1")

• (taking his new jet-pack for a test drive) WHOOAA!! WOOHOOHOOHOO!! EXCELLENT!!YEESSSSSS!!! (from "Endgame Part 1")

• My name is OPTIMUS PRIME! (from "Endgame Part 2")

• So you can remember my name. (from "Endgame Part 2")

• (when asked by Megatron why he did not kill him) That would be the easy way out Megatron, you don't deserve it... (He puts the statis cuffs on Megatron) (from "Endgame Part 2")

Ironhide

• Ironhide to Ultra Magnus! we're under attack from decepticon forces they came out of nowhere. One Space bridge is destroyed request imediate backup!

• Hit me with everything you got sir.

Sentinel Prime

• Optimus! Elita! Get your fanbelts in gear! (from "Along Came a Spider")

• (to Optimus Prime, after Elita-1 is left behind getting attacked by the gigantic spiders) THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! (from "Along Came a Spider")

• You promise not to laugh! (from "Return of the Headmaster")

• I can't let any bot see me like this especially Ultra Magnus! (from "Return of the Headmaster")

• My body's not here! We're too late! (he and Optimus get knocked down by the Headmaster) Oh, there it is. (from "Return of the Headmaster")

• You kicked me... ON PURPOSE!! (from "Return of the Headmaster")

• Attend Hut! I am Sentinel Minor your drill sergent! But you idiots will address me as sir! Is that clear? (from "Autoboot Camp")

• (to Longarm) Not bad. I'm going to call you Longarm!

• (to Ironhide) Nice plating Ironhide! (from "Autoboot Camp")

• (to Wasp) Nice stinging. Welcome to the platoon, Wasp. (from "Autoboot Camp")

• (to Bumblebee) You are nothing but a bumbler! From now on your name is, Bumblebee! (from "Autoboot Camp")

• (to Bulkhead) You! You're bulk and no brains. You're Bulkhead! (from "Autoboot Camp")

• Now drop and give me 20 all of you! (from "Autoboot Camp")

• Per every one of you guys screw up, the entire platoon has to suffer; because in the Grand Machine, if one cog doesn't work, none of them do. (from "Autoboot Camp")

• 26! 27! 28! (from "Autoboot Camp")

• 147! 148! 149! (from "Autoboot Camp")

• WHEN I FIND THE BOT THAT TRY TO BURY UNDERNEATH THIS BUILDING! IM GOING TO DRUM HIM OUT OF THE CYBERTRON SERVICE SO FAST THAT IT WILL MAKE HIS GYRO SPIN! (from "Autoboot Camp")

• YOU?!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN CADET WASPS LOCKER?!! (from "Autoboot Camp")

• Mute it traitor! (from "Autoboot Camp")

• Yeah, well Swindle was stuck in vehicle mode, so all I had to do was pay a fine and tow him away. (from "Five Servos of Doom")

• (to Blackarachnia, after finding out that she was Elita-1) I just never knew, never imagined that something this... unspeakable could have happened to you. How can you even live like that?! It's horrible! It's disgusting! (from "Predacons Rising")

• (fighting Blackarachnia) You're not Elita-1, you mutant freak! Elita-1 went offline a long time ago! (from "Predacons Rising")

• (to Optimus Prime, who never told Sentinel about Elita-1 becoming Blackarachnia until now) You knew about this? (from "Predacons Rising")

• (after Blackarachnia sarifices herself to save the Autobots from a trans-warp energy-filled Waspinator) More like she sacrificed Wasp and used his trans-warp field to bug out. Either way, we're rid of them both...

• (to Optimus Prime, after he apologised for not allowing Sentinel to rescue Elita-1) Yeah, I guess I'm sorry too. Sorry we ever went to that stupid planet in the first place. Besides, it's too late for apologies now, Optimus. Too late for all of us. (from "Predacons Rising")

• I'm Sentinel Prime, and I approve of this message. (from "This Is Why I Hate Machines")

Ultra Magnus

• And Prime. Don't try to be a hero. It's not in your program.(from Transform and Roll Out part 1)

• What are you doing here Optimus?

• Only one question with that story, WHERE ARE THE DECEPTICONS?!!

• (when asked by Ironhide who attacked him and stole his hammer) Shock... wave... (from Where is Thy Sting)

Arcee

• Cybertron is our home planet. We must protect it from the growing Decepticon menace...menace...Decepticon...

Jazz

• Maaaan, that was some funky colored blinking lights show. What'd you call that again?

• Traffic lights. Solid.

• Is it always like this on this crazy planet?

• We're gonna need more spark to shield the city from that blast. (from "Endgame Part 2")

• Prowl! No! we'll find another way! (from "Endgame Part 2")

Prowl

• Stillness and Strike. (from "Home Is Where the Spark Is")

• Only attached to a ship they start draining its energy and acts as a computer virus! (from "Nature Calls")

• They seem more powerful, they were not draining power from those construction machines, they were controlling them. (from "Nature Calls")

• Lets turn up the heat on those barnacles. (from "Nature Calls")

• (being infected by Space Barnacles) Run! (from "Nature Calls")

• Perhaps we can make our own luck. I've noticed a connection between Blitzwing's multiple personalities and his vehicle modes. We can use that weakness against him, but it will require Bumblebee's greatest strength... (After Bumblebee asks what it is) Your obnoxious personality. (from "Megatron Rising Part 2")

• (last words) Can't... pull in... any more fragments... Only... one way... (from "Endgame Part 2")

Wreck Gar

• I am... What am I?

• The Detroit Metro Police Help at last!

• I am Wreck-Gar, I knock stuff over!

• I am Wreck-Gar I am good for only one thing GARBAGE!!!!

• I am Wreck-Gar I will destroy the whole city.

• Come and get your garbage only slightly used!

• No human here. I am Wreck Gar I am good for only one thing 'GARBAGE!!

• All Hail Megatron! Whats a Megatron?

• Here have this Toilet and this engine block or have a nice pack of meat!

• Okay!(Handing Angry Archer tools)

• Okay!(Pouring Spools not jewels)

• I am Wreck Gar! Wreck Gar the Autobot! I will protect you!

• I must catch the bad guy!

• He's going, going! Now how I am supposed to catch him?

• THEY CHEER FOR WRECK GAR! I AM ONLY GOOD FOR ONE THING! GARBAGE!! FEAR NOT GOOD CITIZENS YOUR GARBAGE IS COMING!

• I am Wreck Gar I am a hero!

• Did somebody say hero? (From Human Error Part 2)

• I AM WRECK-GAR, I DARE TO BE STUPID!!!

Bumblebee

• I'm the fastest thing on wheels and nobody will ever change it.

• (While watching Blurr run) Daddy's fast.

• (After seeing Blurr's speed) Okay, I'm officially no longer the fastest thing on wheels.

• This bot is not becoming a barnacles breakfast.

• Why don't just burn them off like we did to our ship?

• Hate to break it to you but I feel safer with Wasp behind bars.

• (After seeing Waspinator) WASP?!!

• (To Waspinator) Speaking about friends I want to say I'm sorry.

• (After seeing the Barnacle monster) Sari. LOOK OUT!

Ratchet

• Young bots. Can't live without em, can't melt 'em down for spare parts. (from "Transform and Roll Out Part 1")

• Actually I can use my EMP to do this painlessly. Too bad I don't have it any more. (uses magnets to rip off grapplers from Lockdown) (from "Thrill of the Hunt")

• This was a medical tool meant to heal. You turn it to a weapon! (from "Thrill of the Hunt")

• Will you get in already?!!

• NOW!

• I would be more patience with 'em IF THEY GET OUT OF MY WAY! (from "Garbage In, Garbage Out")

• (to Wreck Gar, who claims to be an Autobot) You will never be an Autobot and you are only good for one thing...... GARBAGE!!! (from "Garbage In, Garbage Out")

• Listen you organic meatbuckets! Either you solve this garbage dispute HERE AND NOW OR I WILL DUMP YOU BOTH INTO THE RIVER! GOT IT?!! (from "Garbage In, Garbage Out")

• (referring to Prowl's fake static) Personally I've always found Bumblebee's fake static to be a lot more convincing. (from "A Fistful of Energon")

• (when trying to repair Bumblebee with Sari's key, only to discover that all its power has been drained) It's not working! The slagging thing's got no power!!! (from "Transwarped Part 3")

• I'm not gonna argue, 'cause I know this thing will never fly! (from "Endgame Part 1")

Bulkhead

• Bumblebee my wrecking ball is stuck again! (from "Transform and Roll Out Part 1")

• Hey little creature. My name's Bulkhead! Did you lose your ownerbot? (from "Transform and Roll Out Part 2")

• (watching an out-of-control Sari destroying everything she touches) And I thought I was clumsy. (from "Transwarped Part 3")

• (to Wasp, who claims to have been a "good bot") You were always mean to me and Bumblebee. You may not be a traitor... but you were never a good bot. (from "Where Is Thy Sting?")

Blurr

• First of all, the name's not "Zippy"! As a matter of fact, I don't believe I've ever met another bot named Zippy, so one can only assume that you came up with "Zippy" in reference to my speed, which may be technically accurate, but lacks a certain creativity! (from A Bridge too Close part 1)

Omega Supreme

• Positive identification confirmed... for Decepticon... named Megatron... LETHAL FORCE IS AUTHORIZED! (From Transwarped)

• Uh... what's a Dad?

• I am OMEGA SUPREME!

• Autobots in danger!

Jetfire & Jetstorm

• I play winner!
• You two timer, what else is there to know?
• You slow. You must be fast, like fire.
• Are they looking enough distracted to you, brother?
• Big one still wiggles a little.
• De version? Vat kind of version?s
• Means for us to blow something up!
• Oh, good! I am liking de version!
• Sir Yes Sir!

Decepticons

Megatron

• Cripple their Ship but do not destroy it, yet. (from Transform and Roll Out part 1)

• Decepticons, Transform and Rise up!

• You are nothing but a distraction as well as your puny friends. (from Megatron rising)

• Only this time the Allspark is mine!

• Ultra Magnus? Here?

• No, merely a cheap imitation.

• (to Optimus) You're a persistant little Autobot.

• If I cannot save my clones, at least I'll have the satisfaction of destroying you, Optimus Prime!

• Lugnut? Attack! Your glorious leader commands you!

• What are you waiting for Autobot? Finish me... (The lightning comes into the Magnus hammer, and Optimus swings the hammer, giving the other Autobots a shocked look, when the camera comes back, the hammer crushed Megatron's cannon instead.)

Lugnut

• All hail Megatron!
• Traitor!
• Traitor! (Starscream stops talking) Megatron is wise! Megatron is bold! Megatron will return the Decepticons to Cybertron! and-
• The Autobot fools will pay for their insolence. Remove these stasis cuffs at once!
• Decepticons, Transform and Rise up!

Blackarachnia

• Its been a long time since I trust an Autobot. Especially you Optimus! (From Along Came a Spider)

• Blow it out your actuator, three-face.

• (interrupting Lugnut's speech)And wipe our home planet clean of the stench of Autobot tyranny blah de blah blah blah. Did you memorize that speech Lugnut, or is it just hardwired into that thick one-track processor of yours? (From Transform and Roll Out part 1)

• (after revealing to Sentinel Prime that she was Elita-1) Okay, okay, I get it! It's bad, but it's not that bad, all right?! (from Predacons Rising)

• (fighting Sentinel Prime) So that's it?! You just slag your old friend Elita-1?

• Why should I, Optimus?

• Oh you got to be kidding me.

Soundwave

• I am Soundwave. I am Decepticon. The revolution begins now.

Scrapper

• Who you calling "shovel-head", cement-breath?!

• Your little name tag says "Mixmaster".

• All right, you got it, Mix. And you can call me... Scrap.

• I like it.

Dirt Boss

• You got a problem? You got a problem? You got a problem? You got a problem?!.

• Can't build a house without busting a few bricks.

Shockwave

• (when Lugnut argues with him over who is more faithful to Megatron) Have you blown a diode?! I'm trying to work here! (from "Endgame Part 1")

• Everything is going as planned, o great one.

• At long last, I serve you my liege, under my true colors.

• (talking about Blurr while trying to killing to him) I know I can't catch you. But I can trap you.

Mixmaster

• Hey, watch where you're pointing that thing, shovel-head!

• My name ain't "cement-breath", okay? It's...it's...uh...

• Nah, that's too long. Just call me "Mix".

• All right, that's too short. How 'bout "Scrapper"?

Blitzwing

• (After being scorned by Blackarachnia)The name is Blitzwing, insect! Remember it, because it's the last thing you're going to hear before I -- (changes faces)ExPrEsS mYsElF iN sOnG!! The itsy-bitsy spider crawled up the water spout, down came the rain... (from Transform and Roll Out part 1)

• Help! Give me a hand! Or a foot! How about a pelvis? (from Lost and Found)

• Curious, it seems that my electrical systems have gone off line. Which means - (Switches faces) I'm FaLlInG! HaHaHaHa! (from Megatron Rising part 2)

• I wAnT tO sEe HiM tUrN iNtO a FiReTrUcK! CaN i? HuH? HuH? CaN i? (from Thrill of the Hunt)

• Hothead: (To Omega Supreme) You overgrown Autobot! I will scramble your circuits so bad you'll need a GPS scanner to find your own exhaust port! *Omega headbutts Blitzwing, which sends him flying* (from A Bridge too Close)
• Random: (After being headbutted by Omega Supreme)Mayday, mayday! Let's all dance around the maypole!

Starscream

• (sarcastically) Yes! Yes! YES! Brilliant! OH WISE AND GREAT LEADER! (from "Transform and Roll Out Part 1")

• Are you willing to sacrifice this?

• I HAVE ENOUGH WITH TOYING WITH YOU PUNY AUTOBOTS!

• ITS MORE POWERFUL THAN I EVER IMAGINE!

• YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH! But don't worry it won't happen again.

• (after escaping the Elite Guard's ship) VENGENCE WILL BE MINE MEGATRON!! (from "A Fistful of Energon")

• I am ready to serve as your fateful second in command!

• Don't worry. I'll tell them you went offline valiantly, just as soon you name me your successor! (from "A Bridge Too Close Part 2")

• (last words) Ow! Ow! You are giving me a splitting processor ache! (from "Endgame Part 2")

Skywarp

• Us? Against Megatron?! ARE YOU INSANE?!! I think I just sprang an oil leak. (from A Bridge Too Close Part 1)

• PLEASE! Please don't hurt me! I dent easily!

• NO! NO! NO! NOT THE STASIS CUFFS! I have an irrational fear of STASIS LOCK! (from A Bridge Too Close Part 2)

Thundercracker

• (first words)SILENCE YOU FOOL! MEGATRON IS A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SCRAP PILE COMPARED TO MY GENIUS!

Sunstorm

(To Omega Supreme) Oh, great and mighty Autobot! It is an honor to merely bask in your majestic pre- *gets hit* daaagh!

Ramjet

• (first words) WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I AM THE ORIGINAL STARSCREAM!

• I never said I'm the original Starscream!

• No I didn't!

• (To Omega Supreme) You're stabilizing servo's unbolted! (gets kicked)

• I will remain loyal to you forever! (kicks Starscream)

• I'm not down. I can escape anytime I want to. I just dont want to right now.

Slipstream

• Any leader has to be an improvement over you!

Swindle

• My my, what a golden opportunity.

• All in good time. First we need to discuss compensation. You get freedom but what do I get? You see where I'm going here?

• Megatron! Why didn't you say so!? The ol' warmonger's my #1 customer!

• Now let's see about getting you rearmed. It's been stellar cycles but I never forget a weapon.

• Naturally, everything comes with a million solar cycle warranty, excluding battle damage of course.

• I also accept all major credit-downloads.

• The Sonic Jammer 3000! Don't leave Cybertron without it! But wait, there's more, it also has a stasis suspension ray, handy for those tight spots.

• Never could get the hang of cloning. Why don't you try these on for size, just so I can tell you bots apart?

Wasp/Waspinator

• Bumblebot not hide from Wasp. Wasp swears he find Bumblebot. Wasp make Bumblebot pay for ruining Wasp's life. (from "Autoboot Camp")
• You poor, sad bot. It's not how you're made, but who you are. (from "Autoboot Camp")
• Looks like the hybrid found himself a new friend. A total mudflap. (from "Autoboot Camp")
• I'll get you, Bumblebee, if that's the last thing I can do! (from "Autoboot Camp")
• Bumblebot lie! Wasp not listen. LALALALA! (from "Predacons Rising")
• Waspinator MEGA-cool, thanks to new friend. (from "Predacons Rising")
• Wasp... forgive Bumblebot. BUT WASPINATOR NEVER FORGIVE! (from "Predacons Rising")
• Now Waspinator squish spider-bot! (from "Predacons Rising")
• Waspinator cannot go offline. Waspinator have plans... (from "Predacons Rising")

Opeing Titles

• English

The Transformers! More than meets the eye!

The Transformers! Robots in disguise!

Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons!

The Transformers! More than meets the eye!

The Transformers!

• Japan

First Verse (1-16)

Beyond the darkness, the silence is shattered and it has the world rising from its rest

Who will it be?

Before us are fiends that leave us other choice but to charge them head on.

Someone tell me to rid myself of weakness and fear. Our are conscious rearranged

And grasping with these hands, and believing in our allies, we will fight!

All I can do, all you do, is take wing and transform! Take that rage pounding on your chest and make it your strength!

All I can do, all you can do, is shine bright and transform to the next stage of evolution! Touch and go!

Second Verse (17-)

Open your ears, it's a new chapter! Why is this era putting us to the test?

In this stange place, awaken your power. Release your light and run towards the ultimate level.

Eveyone will clear their trials as we overcome our current selves

So move towards on the path of tribulations. Have faith in inifite evolution and fight!

All I can do, all you can do, is take off and transform! Show pride for your battle-scarred body.

All I can do, all you can do, is fight and transform on the evolving road. Get and Go!

Final Verse

And grasping with these hands, and believing in our allies, we will fight!

All I can do, all you do, is take wing and transform! Take that rage pounding on your chest and make it your strength!

All I can do, all you can do, is shine bright and transform to the next stage of evolution! Touch and go!

Episodes

Transform and Roll Out

"Do you ever get the feeling that you were programmed for something more than just repairing space bridges?"
"I got a diagnostics program that can delete that feeling like a bad line of code."

—Optimus Prime's dreams are crushed to a fine powder by Ratchet

"(To Megatron) You know what? You're even uglier at this angle!"

—Bumblebee is about to realize there are some things you should never, EVER, say to a Decepticon.

"Hi, I'm Bumblebee!"
"I'm Sari."
(thinking she said I'm sorry) "Oh, don't be, I like my name."

—Bumblebee and Sari are off to an awkward start.

"Y'know, all things considered, fixin' space bridges wasn't such a bad gig."

—Bumblebee, just before embarking on the plan to dissolve the bug monster

"Uh...am I going to be able to breathe down there?"
"Oh, sure! ...What's 'breathe'?"

—Sari is in good hands with Bumblebee

"And to think, Ultra Magnus told me not to be a hero. Is this what it was like in your day?"
"The Decepticons didn't leave us very much to cheer about."

—Optimus Prime and Ratchet at the ceremony

"Enjoy it while you can, 'heroes.' You're about to take a fall."

—Starscream, watching a news report on the Autobots

"Give up the AllSpark or give up the Earth. How am I supposed to decide?"
"Heroes are the ones who make the hard choices."

—Optimus Prime and Ratchet after Starscream makes his ultimatum

"Let go, Autobot!"
"Never! The AllSpark is life!"
"Then, let it end yours!"

—Starscream and Optimus Prime, fighting over the AllSpark

"So, this... is what it feels like... to be a hero."

—Optimus Prime, just before dying

"Fixing bridges? Isn't this where we started out?"

—Bumblebee, as the Autobots clean-up the city

"When you wake up, you really wake up."

--Sari to Bumblebee, after she revives him; he jitters with a sound of screeching tires, then stands up and hits his head on the ceiling.

Home is where the Spark is

"HAHAHA!!! Victory is mine! Yon police would ne'er stop a firetruck from speeding to an emergency!"
"Only one problem with that theory: You're the emergency."

—The Angry Archer's escape is cut short by Optimus Prime

"No way, being a star rocks! If the titanium alloy plating fits, wear it. And...I make it look good."

—Bumblebee, being himself.

"Auut-oh-bot-MegaMegaMega-Meg-Meeeegaaa-Mega-I am Megatron!"

—Megatron awakening after his fifty-year slumber

"Whoa. Looks like somebody forgot to defrag his hard drive."

—Bulkhead, using a dubious computer analogy to describe Prowl's bad mood

"You Autobot fools are the keepers of the AllSpark? This must be some cosmic joke..."

—Megatron, disgusted at the Autobots' merry-making.

"What's the matter? We're not still enough for you? Ynnh—fine! Have a great time in there watching the grass grow!"

—Bumblebee to Prowl as the latter heads off to his private quarters (presumably to have a great time watching the grass grow).

"Stillness...then strike."

—Prowl, as he sneaks past the Megatron-possessed machinery

Total Meltdown

"That's a human?"
"Must be a new model."

—Bulkhead and Prowl comment on Cyrus Rhodes.

"Just stay out of his reach."
"Which one? The guy in the middle or the two on either side?"
"Just swing at all of them."

—Sari plays coach to Bumblebee. She's no Mickey Goldmill.

"Stand and fight! What are ya, yellow?!"
"Well, duh."

—Colossus Rhodes's insult is lost on Bumblebee

Prowl: [to Bumblebee] Next time, use your head. Find your foe's weakness and strike there.
Bulkhead: If you can reach it.
Bumblebee: Oh, right. I get it. Cause I'm short.
Bulkhead: What? I'm just bustin' your bumpers a little, buddy.
Bumblebee: Why does it have to be 'little buddy?' Why can't it just be 'buddy'?
Ratchet: What's with him?
Bulkhead: Ah, he's just mad cause he came up a little short.
[Ratchet, Bulkhead and Sari laugh]
Bumblebee: Okay, now, you're doing it on purpose!

—Bumblebee is having a bad day

Ratchet: I'd like to run some more tests. It should only take a few hours.
Bumblebee: That long?
Bulkhead: His attention span is short, too.
Bumblebee: I heard that!
Prowl: Apparently, so is his fuse.
Bulkhead: Ooh, the ninjabot gets in a good one!
Ratchet: Who knew he had it in him?
Bumblebee: Yeah, aren't you supposed to be the strong, silent type? Emphasis on the silent.

—Auto-banter

Sumdac: Prometheus, why are you doing this?
Meltdown: Because you're a fraud!
[Sumdac gasps]
Meltdown: I am smarter, better-looking, and more educated than you, and yet, everything you touch turns to gold! While everything I touch...
[Statue melts, and Meltdown throws it out through a window]
Meltdown: Just...look at me. I'm a freak! But I refuse to be beaten by some simpering nerd who merely got lucky!

—Meltdown gets closer to the truth than he realizes.

Blast from the Past

"Sorry I'm late, guys. Uh, did I miss anything?"
"No, I'd say you hit just about every car in the lot."

—Bulkhead can't seem to catch a break, certainly not from Bumblebee. At first I thought Bulky was as destructive as Patrick Star but now, I think he's worse!

Tutor Bot: Besides the valuable information dinosaurs' bones can tell us, fossils also gave way to fossil fuels, which today power our automobiles.
Sumdac: Oh, I cannot believe that I programmed you with such simplistic information. Everyone knows this.
Megatron: Oh, but I did not.
Sumdac: Well, everyone but you. [gasps loudly] You—you spoke!

—Isaac Sumdac learns that his guest is awake.

"Nice, Prowl. Maybe next you can teach an engine block to float."

—Ratchet being a crotchety old goat

"The primitive materials available on this planet are useless. It will take countless solar cycles to create attack drones capable of my needs, and without more substantial robotics for my own body, my prospects are grim, locked in this prison of a lab."
"Grim—lock…Grim—lock."

—Megatron learns why Grimlock's name doesn't start with an "S".

"Cars and trucks bad! Car robots…worse!"

—Grimlock, to the dismay of Robots in Disguise fans everywhere.

Bulkhead: Wait! Uh, I was thinking. Maybe we should lead them some place safer first.
Optimus: Good thinking, Bulkhead!
Bulkhead: He said "good thinking".
Bumblebee: And "Bulkhead".

—Optimus gives Bulkhead kudos, much to his and Bumblebee's shock.

"You call breathing fire a glitch?!?"

—Ratchet, saying what we're all thinking.

"Just because something is big and lumbering and destructive doesn't mean you give up on it."

—Prowl delivering the most backhanded compliment ever

The Thrill of the Hunt

Ratchet: Augh, it's primitive. It's barbaric. There ought to be a law against it!
Optimus Prime: It's just an auto supply store, Ratchet.
Ratchet: You mean they actually sell spare parts on the open market? What kind of malfunction would be crass enough to buy this stuff?
Bumblebee: Hey, guys, check out my new horn! This place has the greatest stuff! Fuzzy cube-thingys, miniature human female replica, well, i don't know what this thing is--- (gets hit in the head by Ratchet) WAH!

—Evidently, Bumblebee is crass enough.

Hothead Blitzwing: You have Optimus Prime? Hand him over at once! That Autobot will pay for what he did to our leader!
Lockdown: Yeah, speaking of payment, I'm gonna need mine first.
Icy Blitzwing: Patience, my bounty-hunting friend. You will not be disappointed with your upgrades, provided I am not disappointed with your results.
Random Blitzwing: Ooooh! I wanna see him turn into a fire truck! Can I? Can I, ha-ha, can I? Ahahahahahahahaha!

—Blitzwing, Blitzwing and Blitzwing negotiate with Lockdown.

"I'm impressed. It's been eons since the last time anyone got the drop on me."
"Next time will be much sooner!"

—Lockdown and Prowl engage in some foreshadowing.

"I'm not good with names and faces, but I never forget a trophy."

—Lockdown, best buddy of Kraven and the Predator.

"Time was I'd use my EMP generator to do this painlessly. Too bad I don't have it anymore."

—Ratchet, right before ripping Prime's grapplers out of Lockdown's arm, forgetting children are watching.

"How're you healing?"
"Arm's as good as new, thanks to you."
"That wasn't what I meant."
"Let's just say I have a much better appreciation for what you went through back in the day and why you don't wanna remember it."
"It's not that I don't want to remember. I have to remember… for those who can't."
"Still, I don't suppose it hurts to talk about it sometimes… with a trusted friend."
"So, what do you wanna know?"

—Ratchet and Optimus Prime

Nanosec

"I'm kinda new to this planet, but I believe you're supposed to pay for those things before you run off with them."

—Optimus Prime holding Nanosec after he robs the warehouse

"Couldn't I just ask your Autobot friends to help?"
"NO! I…do not wish them to see me in this weakened state."

—Megatron tells Isaac Sumdac the absolute truth, for once. Sort of.

Bumblebee: Turbo boosters! Suh-weet!
Optimus Prime: You're not actually thinking of hooking these things up to yourself, are you?
Bumblebee: Oh, of course not! I was gonna ask the doc-bot to do it for me.
Ratchet: Have you got your processor up your exhaust port? These things are untested, incompatible—
Sari: And totally wicked fast!

—Bumblebee gets a few mixed signals.

Prowl: The point of this exercise is to blend into your environment
Bumblebee: Oh, right! 'Cause nothing says 'blend' like a motorcycle driving itself."
[Prowl generates a hologram of a policeman driver for himself]
Prowl: Happy?

—Houston, we have Moustache Man sighting.

"You know, there might be another way to get that turbo booster upgrade."
"But, Prime's orders—"
"Were to catch Nanosec. He didn't say HOW."

—Sari plays the little devil on Bumblebee's shoulder.

"What is this stuff? Are you nuts?"
"Negative friction lubricant [transforms] and technically, I'm nuts, bolts, and armored plating."

-Nanosec gets schooled by Optimus Prime

Bumblebee: You ROCK!
Sari: No, YOU rock!
Bumblebee: No, YOU rock!
Sari: No, YOU rock!
Bumblebee: I said YOU rock!
Sari: I said YOU rock!
Bumblebee: YOU rock!
Sari: YOU rock!

—Mercifully, the exchange ends here.

"How do you suppose this Nanosec fellow got hold of my experimental turbo suit?"
"I suspect it was an inside job."

—Delightfully layered-meaning dialog between Professor Sumdac and Megatron

Along Came a Spider

Bumblebee: [Bad Slavic accent] Velcome. I am Count Dracubot. I vant to drink your motor oil.
Bulkhead: Hey, guys! I finally found something big enough for my ghost costume.
[Fumes surround his feet, causing Sari to cough]
Sari: Bulkhead, where did you get that sheet?
Bulkhead: It was just draped over some house. Weird place for a bed sheet, huh?
Sari: Oh, that's not a bedsheet. That's a fumigation tent.
Bulkhead: Really…? What's a fumigation tent?
[As well as the fumes, Bulkhead's feet are now covered in dead cockroaches.]

—Sari sees the Autobots' costumes.

"I've got a good feeling about this. Any cycle now, we're gonna be overflowing with rich, All Spark-infused, energon-y goodness!"
"Did you really just say 'energon-y goodness'?"

—Sentinel's speech tick—er, tic bemuses Elita-1.

Sari: Optimus! Check out my costume!
[Camera reveals that Sari is Optimus Prime]
Sari: [Imitating Optimus] Oh, look at me. I'm Optimus Prime. I'm scared of spiders.
[Bumblebee and Bulkhead chuckle]
Optimus: That's not what I sound like—is it?
Bumblebee: Last chance to join us, Boss Bot.
Optimus: Thanks, but I'll pass. Just be careful out there, all right?
Sari: Don't worry. I'll keep these two out of trouble. [Imitating Optimus] Transform and roll out!
[Optimus gives Sari a look]
Sari: Couldn't resist.

—Sari and the Autobots roast Optimus Prime.

Bumblebee: Who are you?
Bulkhead: What are you?
Sari: Duh. She's a girl.

—The gang meets Blackarachnia.

"So, who was that bug-bot lady?"
"Someone I never should have left behind."

—Bulkhead and Optimus Prime talk some heavy stuff.

Sound and Fury

"Onward, Powdered Sugar! Let's discontinue this big, naughty, battle toy once and for all!"

—Professor Princess to her Little Pony

Bumblebee: Here it comes!
Bulkhead: Swing it! Give it the old Bulkhead treatment, Sari!
Optimus: Why exactly is she swinging at a colorful animal?
Ratchet: Smack it! Smack it already!
Bulkhead: Hold on, Sari, I'll help! I don't even need a bat.
Prowl: This will not end well….

—The Autobots are introduced to the piñata concept.

"The idea is to celebrate the kid's birthday, not make it her last one!"

-Ratchet, after Bulkhead trashes the party area.

Kid: C'mon! Say, say it! Pleeease?
Optimus Prime: Uh, uh, okay. Umm. "Transform and roll out!"
Kids: Yeah!

—Optimus learns what Peter Cullen's life is like.

"I am Soundwave! I am Decepticon! The revolution begins now!"

—Soundwave achieves sentience—and a new body.

"Good afternoon, Sari. Today's lesson is… the extinction of all humanity!"

—Tutor Bot turns on Sari. All that abuse has finally caught up.

Lost and Found

Hothead Blitzwing: Careful, you copper-clad klutz! You stepped in something!
Random Blitzwing: But with a few dancing lessons, you'll be light on your stabilizing servos like me. Cha cha cha.
Lugnut: Silence, Blitzwing! I did not follow this beacon halfway across the galaxy for dancing lessons! This was Megatron's ship!
Random Blitzwing: Ahaha, Starscream never did have a knack for parking.

—Blitzwing and Lugnut find a crashed Decepticon warship on the Moon.

Hothead Blitzwing: These can't be those miserable Autobots, they're far too small—
Random Blitzwing: But look at that one! It's big, it's bold, it's sassy!
Lugnut: You! What have you done with our beloved leader Megatron? Talk!

—The Decepticons interrogate a highly suspicious-looking crane.

"Autobots! Show yourselves, cowards! and face your doom!"
"Were'd you looking for us?"
"But how about we skip the 'Doom Part'?"

—Lugnut, Optimus Prime and Bumblebee

"Where is our glorious leader? Where is Megatron?!"
"Big scary dude?" [to Optimus] "Didn't he turn into a fireball somewhere over Cleveland?"

—Lugnut and Bumblebee

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: Give me some warning before you use ze punch!"

—Hothead Blitzwing to Lugnut

Icy Blitzwing: The Autobots have called in reinforcements. Perhaps we should lay low until we can determine their strength and numbers.
Lugnut: I will not hide. I will stand proudly and shout Megatron's name to the heavens!
Megatron: Oh, for spark's sake...

—Sometimes, the fanatic thing just gets ridiculous.

Optimus: We'll have to repair our ship and move the AllSpark off this planet.
Bulkhead: We can't just pick up and go. She'll understand.

—The Autobots tell Sari that they're leaving.

"Help! Give me a hand! Or-or a foot! How about a pelvis?"

—Random Blitzwing, unusually happy about being in pieces.

Survival of the Fittest

"This is why I hate machines!"
"No need to be such a technophobe, Captain."
"A technophobe is someone who fears technology. (Smashes cell phone) Does this look like FEAR TO YOU?!"
"Um… my mistake."

—Captain Fanzone straightens out Prowl's perceptions of him.

Bulkhead: Hanging out. Teaching her ninja nerve blows. Watching cartoons.
Fanzone: Hold up? What was that again?
Bulkhead: Watching cartoons.
Fanzone: No before that.
Bulkhead: Teaching her ninja nerve blows.
Fanzone: You're teaching an eight-year-old to do nerve blows?
Ratchet: You want her to pick it up in the street?
Prowl: This is part of every protoform's elemental programming.
Fanzone: Say what?
Bulkhead: Yeah, it's not like we're having her fight Decepticons.
Prowl: Yet.

—Fanzone and the Autobots debate the finer points of child education.

"Help!"
"That sounded like Captain Fanzone."
"Y-Yeah, hey, I—I do a really good impression of myself screaming for help!"

—Even in mortal danger, Captain Fanzone zings Prowl.

"Who better than the daughter of my arch-rival, the bane of my existence, the simpering fool who is unworthy to lick the mud off the heels of my platform shoes—booga-looga-looga-looz—Professor Isaac Sumdac? Poetic, no?"

—Meltdown gets down with his bad self while monologuing. It appears that the suit is more than just for show.

"Dibs on Lefty—I hate lawyers."

—Captain Fanzone actually hates something besides machines.

Fanzone: What the…?!
Sari: Whoa…!
Bulkhead: Uh… they couldn't do that before. Right?

—The Dinobots reveal that they are more than meets the eye.

Headmaster

"Mr. Masterson! I have told my staff time and again: we do not make military robots or headmaster units that takeover other military robots for...more military things!

—Isaac Sumdac has a firm moral center. He just has trouble articulating it.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad. You saved the city, right?"
"After destroying half of it."
"Not helping."

—Sari Sumdac gives Bulkhead a pep talk, and Bumblebee just rips the poor guy.

Optimus Prime: I'm afraid I don't see the logic in trying to reproduce an image with such primitive tools.
Prowl: I believe it's more about creating something from one's imagination, like this one for instance.
Bulkhead: Actually, that was an accident I had with Ratchet's blow torch.
Ratchet: You ask me, it's all a waste of time. No 'bot ever saved anyone with art.

—The Autobots discuss art.

"Total OWNAGE!"

—The Headmaster, many, many times.

"See? What'd I tell you? Your vision and my hands. It's magnificent. It's inspiring."
[Smoke alarm sounds as the statue begins to blaze]
"It's on fire!!"

—Bumblebee and Bulkhead

"I got a way with machines."

—Captain Fanzone after smashing the control panel. The man's a bit scary.

Nature Calls

Bumblebee: At least I can get this junk out of me. I was feeling kinda bloated.
[Electronic devices suddenly fall out of him, Prowl gives him a look]
Bumblebee: What? You said to pack the bare essentials!
Prowl: Since when are surround-sound speakers, a strobe light, and a hand-held media player "bare essentials?"
Bumblebee: You should've seen what I left back at the plant.
Prowl: Where did you even find room for all of this junk?
[Bumblebee taps his fingers uncomfortably]
Bumblebee: I'd... rather not say.

—Bumblebee and Prowl's conversation takes a decidedly uncomfortable turn.

"First we must determine this creature's intentions."
[Creature knocks Prowl aside without provocation]
"I'm gonna go with 'hostile'."

—Prowl and Bumblebee meet the monster.

Bumblebee: Hey! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?!
[Creature swipes at Bumblebee and Sari]
Bumblebee: Okay. Maybe we're a little unclear on the concept of "your own size".
Sari: Maybe you should stop talking logic to a creature that has no head!

—Bumblebee and Sari debate whether or not to open negotiations with the monster.

"What did I tell you about camping? Monsters. TV is always right."
"So, wait. Monsters are real? Tutor Bot is such a liar!"

—Bumblebee's faith in television is reinforced, while Sari Sumdac's faith in Tutor Bot is shattered.

"Attention, barnacle monster! Come out with your hands over your...well, you don't have a head. But you get the idea."

—Bumblebee instructs the creature to surrender.

Sari: And then, they were back to normal, like nothing ever happened. Meanwhile, I'm stuck riding home with no dry clothes and an Autobot whose car mode doesn't have a heater!
[Sari sneezes]
Optimus: You showed a lot of courage and ingenuity, Sari. And hopefully, you'll stop...backfiring soon.
Sari: Hel-lo, it's called "sneezing".
[Sari sneezes, then blows her nose]
Bumblebee: I don't even wanna know what that's called.

—The Autobots discover the concept of the common cold.

"Megatron will be so surprised!"

—Isaac Sumdac, cheerfully dooming us all.

Megatron Rising Part I

Lugnut: And the universe will rejoice! All hail your grand and glorious return!
Starscream: Okaaay, what's his malfunction?
Icy Blitzwing: Technical glitch. It happens.
Random Blitzwing: A lot, actually! Ahahahaha!
Lugnut: It is not a glitch! It is Megatron, and he commands us to deliver him the Key!
Starscream: Megatron...?! Did you just say Megatron?! Did he just say MEGATRON?! THERE IS NO MEGATRON! MEGATRON IS OFFLINE! TERMINATED! I DID IT MYSEL—saw it myself.

—Starscream is a master of subtlety, truly!

"The fate of the Earth and Cybertron hang in the balance and all I've got in my command are a bunch of undisciplined, insubordinate MALFUNCTIONS!"

—Optimus Prime has quite the bad temper when he's dissatisfied with his troops.

"What's your damage, Prime? Sari has been helping us since the day we got here. She is a part of this team!"
"Considering your own history of mistakes, Bumblebee, I wouldn't exactly call you a great character witness."
"Is that right?! Well let me tell you something, Boss-Bot: Considering the fact that we're stuck on this planet, outnumbered, with no idea on how we're gonna beat an army of Decepticons ready to fry our circuits at any second, I wouldn't exactly call you a great leader."

—Bumblebee and Optimus Prime exchange harsh words. Ouch.

Hothead Blitzwing: The Key, Autobot!
Ratchet: You'll have to pry it from my cold, offline servo.
[Blitzwing switches to his icy face, freezes Ratchet, then switches to his random face]
Random Blitzwing: Well, it's not exactly offline, but— [Rips off Ratchet's arm] —it's certainly cold. Ahahahaha!

—Blitzwing cheats by stealing the Key from Ratchet instead of fighting for it.

"Look what the capacitor dragged in."
"Megatron?! Alive? And looking... magnificent, as always."
"Starscream. How good it is to be reunited with such a devoted and faithful subject in my time of need."
"I would have come sooner, o grand and illustrious leader, but naturally we all assumed you perished at the hands of the Autobot scum. What... great... joy to discover you did not."
"Yes. Delight is written all over your face."

—Megatron and Starscream exchange, ahem, warm and heartfelt pleasantries.

"YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEECH!"

—Starscream seriously freaks out when Bumblebee shoots him.

"We have come for our glorious leader, Megatron!"
"I am here, Lugnut."
"Oh, Master, I am not worthy! I am not worthy... What happened to your body?"
"Long story."

—Lugnut and Megatron, reunited at last.

"Decepticons? But, you told me you were an Autobot."
"And I hated every moment of that humiliating charade. But no more..."

—Isaac Sumdac finally learns the truth, and from Megatron himself.

Megatron Rising part II

Megatron: Ah, Starscream. How fitting to have you by my side as I finally take my revenge on the one responcible for my fifty stellar cycles of helplessness and humiliation. (Megatron aims his cannon at Optimus, then kills Starscream with the key) Does anyone else have a problem with my leadership?
Random Blitzwing: Uh, no, we're fine.
Lugnut: NEVER!

—Megatron quickly reestablishes the Decepticon pecking order.

Isaac: Oh dear, this is all my fault!
Sari: What? It's not like you built Megatron in your lab or anything.
[Isaac Sumdac looks away and uncomfortably taps his fingers]
Sari: YOU BUILT MEGATRON IN YOUR LAB?!
Ratchet: On the bright side, now I don't feel so bad about losing your Key.

—One of several awkward moments in this episode for Isaac Sumdac.

"If we go down, we go down fighting. Together. And I can't think of a better band of Autobots I'd be prouder to fight alongside."
"Not even the Cybertron Elite Guard? Because I sure wouldn't mind having them here now."

— Optimus Prime prepares to fight and die while Bumblebee would rather fight and live.

Ratchet: Electromagnetic pulse!
(Ratchet and Bumblebee's magnet and stingers join forces)
Icy Blitzwing: Curious, my electrical systems have gone offline. Which means...
Random Blitzwing: I'M FALLING!!! WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

—Blitzwing should have think of that earlier

Bumblebee: So what do we do now? Wait for him to turn back into a tank and crash like last time?
Ratchet: Nobody gets that lucky twice.
Prowl: Perhaps we can make our own luck. I've noticed a connection between Blitzwing's multiple personalities and his vehicle modes. We can use that weakness against him...but it will require using Bumblebee's greatest strength.
Bumblebee: What, my stingers? My turbo-speed?
Prowl: Your obnoxious personality.

—Prowl nails friend and foe alike with ninja precision.

Bumblebee: Hey, Blitzbrain! Is that your jet mode, or did your pal Lugnut dump out some spare parts? ...How come you have three faces? Couldn't decide which was the ugliest? ...And who uses ice as a weapon? What are you? A refrigerator?
Hothead Blitzwing: You want heat? I'll give you more than you can handle! [Transforms into a tank and promptly falls] Oh, slag! Not AGA-! [Crashes through the ice]

— Hothead Blitzwing is his own worst enemy.

"You all fought like Autobots! I can't tell you how proud I am of each and every one of you."
"Go on, tell us. We can take it!"

—Optimus Prime praises the Autobots while Bumblebee showcases his recently discussed "greatest strength".

"I trust you are comfortable in your chair!"

—Megatron to Isaac Sumdac. The choice of furniture was destined to come back to haunt him.

The Autobot Who Couldn't Swim

Sari: (through laughter) Come on in, Optimus! The water's nice and warm!

Optimus Prime: Oh, I don't know, Sari. I don't really like water all that much!

Sari: Aw! Come on! It's fun.

Optimus Prime: Ugh! Fine. If ya say so. (loses his footing) Whoa! WHA! WHOA-OA-OA! (falls in)

Sari: Optimus!

Optimus Prime: (resurfaces) HELP! HELP! I CAN'T SWIM! (his head disappears underwater and then reappears) HELP! SOMEBODY HELP! BULKHEAD! BUMBLEBEE! SAVE ME! (waves his arms to signal them) BULKHEAD, BUMBLEBEE! HELP ME!

Prowl: (sees Optimus waving his arms frantically and screaming for help) I'm coming, Optimus! (dives into the pool)

—Optimus tries swimming for the first time.

"I was learning how to swim back at Autobot Academy on Cybertron. Sentinel Prime and I were placed in a swimming race. If one of us sank, we lost. I was ahead. Until some crazy Scrapidile swam out in front of me! I swured to avoid getting hit but I swam too far and suddenly realised I couldn't swim in waters that deep. I thought I was gonna die. That was until Prowl came to my rescue and brought me to the safety of the shore. And I never swam ever again.

—Optimus reveals his lack of swimming.

The Elite Guard

"This is completely unnecessary, Sentinel!"
"Can't risk an infestation, 'old buddy'. Take it like a real bot."

—Undergoing "decontamination", Optimus rediscovers that Sentinel is a jerk.

"Man, that was some funky blinkin' colored light show! What'd you call those things again?"
"Traffic lights?"
"Traffic lights. Solid."

—Jazz discovers the wonderful world of commuting with the help of Bulkhead.

"What kind of screwloose planet IS this?!"

—Between broken bridges and now Dinobots, Sentinel Prime isn't having a good day.

Bulkhead: It's no good! These things are rolling off the assembly line faster than I can smash 'em!
Jazz: Is it always like this on this crazy planet?
Prowl: Pretty much.

—Jazz learns that Prime's crew has anything but a quiet life.

Sentinel Prime: I think you've done enough, Optimus! I'll make sure you're tried for high treason for destroying the AllSpark! Now come with me!
Optimus Prime: No!
[Shoves Sentinel aside]
Sentinel Prime: That wasn't a request. That's a DIRECT ORDER, Optimus!
Optimus Prime: It's Optimus PRIME. I may be an Elite Guard washout and a glitch-detail flunky, but the last time I checked, you and I still had equal rank. SO, Sentinel PRIME, take your order AND your condescending attitude, and STICK IT IN YOUR HARD DRIVE! You're on MY TURF now!

— Optimus is officially sick of Sentinel Prime's crap.

"Definitely appears to be a fragment of the AllSpark. Apparently, your story about dispersing it may not be so far-fetched after all."
"But sir, you can't honestly believe that. He's a lying, insubordinate crankshaft."
"He may be a little rough around the edges, but in the heat of battle, Optimus Prime exhibited the qualities of a true leader: strategic thinking, determination, and above all, loyalty. Something you could stand to learn a thing or two about, Sentinel Prime."

— Ultra Magnus lets Sentinel Prime know how much of an Auto-Ass he is.

"Hey, why is my office locked?"
"Miss Sumdac, I regret to inform you that your services will no longer be required. The board has unanimously elected me to take over as CEO of Sumdac Systems."
"You can't do that! It's still my family's company!"
"Is it? I took the liberty of doing some research into your claim. It might interest you to know that there is no will, no birth certificate, no adoption papers, social security number, or any kind of record whatsoever for a 'Sari Sumdac'."
"Are you saying I can't prove I'm Isaac Sumdac's daughter?"
"I'm saying you can't even prove you exist."

—Sari and Porter C. Powell create a drastic change in plot.

The Return of the Headmaster

"Whoa, hey! Check it! Major cribbage! And it's mine. It's all mine!"

—Masterson, who is surprisingly okay with the fact that his new "facilities" are frilly, lacy, and painted pink.

"This is why I hate machines...especially arrogant, full-of-themselves machines!"

—Captain Fanzone, also saying what we're all thinking.

Optimus: Sentinel, we should scramble our comlink frequencies in case the Decepticons are listening in!
Sentinel: What you should do is stick within the scope of your programming. If I need a trash can emptied or a floor mopped, I'll call on my buddy Optimus Prime. Or should I say...Maintenance Prime? Hahahaha!
[Sentinel turns and walks away; Optimus does the same]
Optimus: 'Maintenance Prime'...then I'll just call you 'Pompous Gas-Bag Prime'. Yeah...that's what I should have said.

—Optimus Prime and Sentinel Prime match wits. Somehow, Optimus loses.

Sentinel: Uhhh, Optimus. Tell the organic Fanzone that he can send his police force home. It's a false alarm.
Optimus: How do you know?
Sentinel: I just know, okay?! Now I need you to come to my position. ALONE. And promise me one more thing...
Optimus: What?
Sentinel: That you won't laugh!
[Optimus looks around the rubble for Sentinel]
Optimus: Sentinel? Where are you?
Sentinel: [quietly] Look down...
[Optimus looks down to see Sentinel's head severed from his body]
Optimus: [lets out a hearty laugh]
Sentinel: You promised you wouldn't laugh!

—Optimus Prime gets a kick out of Sentinel Prime's misfortune

Bumblebee: Just because you don't have a tutor bot anymore doesn't mean you have to stop learning.
Bulkhead: Right. We can teach you.
Bumblebee: So, class, today's lesson is regarding...um...well, stuff, and how it works. Any questions?
Sari: Yeah. Why is there no record of my existence?
Bumblebee: Okay...a little bit outside the lesson plan. Professor Bulkhead, your thoughts?
Bulkhead: Maybe she came here from another planet in some kinda egg and crashed on Sumdac's doorstep.
Bumblebee: Or a portal could have opened and she fell through from another dimension.
Bulkhead: Or maybe she's really a robot.
Bumblebee: Or maybe Sumdac found her in a cabbage patch.
Bulkhead: Or that stork thing.

—Professors Bumblebee and Bulkhead have obviously been visiting the fan forums...

"Yes! I am so 1337!"
"Yeah? Well, I have no idea what that means!"

—Headmaster boasts as Optimus Prime scores a blow against over-sized egos everywhere.

Mission Accomplished

"You dare strike ME, Megatron? After all my loyal stellar cycles of—wh-wu-wait, where is everybody? How did I get here? I'm not picking up any Decepticon energy signatures... not even my own. I'm too young be offline!"

—On coming back from the dead, Starscream's speech-making tendencies outweigh his observational skills.

Fanzone: Why me?
Bumblebee: You're tops on the list of all the humans we know personally.
Bulkhead: Although, it is kind of a short list.
Prowl: And it does include Prometheus Black and Nanosec.
Bumblebee: But still, you're number one!

—The Autobots try to get Captain Fanzone to adopt Sari. They need to work on their sales pitch.

"Ah, if it isn't my old pal Megatron. And by 'old pal,' I mean the piece of scum who tried to INCINERATE ME INTO OBLIVION!"
"Starscream. You're alive."
"What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost. Well, maybe you have!"

—Starscream and Megatron

"Is that the best you can do, Starscream?! And to think you actually believed you could take over as leader of the Decepticons. You couldn't lead a parade."

—Megatron gives Starscream a hint.

"Fellow Decepticons, take heed! Your leader, Megatron, still lives! Though we remain dispersed throughout the far reaches of the galaxy, exiled from our true home, we are all still Decepticons, united by a common purpose. The time has come for us to put aside our differences and act as one under my undisputed leadership. Only then can we cast off the shackles of Autobot oppression. Working together, we can raise up our glorious empire once more, and crush all who stand in our way!"

—Megatron has a good speechwriter

"PREPARE TO FACE THE WRATH OF-uh-what am i doing down here? and why is my spark chamber empty? *Gasps* maybe i really am a ghost! or maybe something else is keeping me online."

—Starscream realizes that he's immortal

"I think I need another approach."

—Starscream, after several failures to destroy Megatron

"When are you going to get it through your thick processor? There are no Decepticons on this planet! So keep your audio unit shut or I'll do it for you." [brandishes stasis cuffs]
[beat] "I'd like to see you try, you worthless crankshaft!"
"THAT'S IT!" [ten seconds later] "You put me in stasis lock?!"

—Sentinel Prime, owned by Optimus Prime yet again.

(after his 'exploding train' trap has failed)
Starscream: No! This day couldn't possibly get any worse! (sees Megatron hovering in front of him) I stand corrected.

- Starscream's not having a lucky day- Oh, who am I kidding? He never has a lucky day.

"STARSCREEEEEEAM!!!!!"
"Sorry, you must have me confused with some other harrier jet."

—Megatron and Starscream. We don't think he bought it, Screamer.

Sentinel: Optimus Prime, you are under arrest for assaulting an Elite Guard officer. Add that to the other list of charges against you, and you can kiss your career goodbye. Do you have anything to say for yourself?
Optimus:...Incoming!
[Starscream crashes from high altitude into the ground.]
Sentinel: WHAT IS THAT THING?!
Optimus: Oh, that's right, you've never seen one up close. It's called...a Decepticon.

—Starscream crashes to Earth, freaks out Sentinel Prime, and gives Optimus Prime the proof he needs.

"Yeesh, Optimus, think you could have drawn that one out any longer?"
"You're welcome, Sentinel."

—Sentinel Prime and Optimus Prime, same old song and dance.

Garbage In, Garbage Out

"Stasis lock itself could not deter me from your grand and glorious plan, oh wise and noble Megatron!"
[Left optic twitches] "Just...go..."

—Lugnut's blind worship can be too much even for Megatron sometimes.

"I don't suppose you can tell me what I am, funny green man?"
"You are...my partner-in-crime. They call me Angry Archer!"
"They call me 'worthless-wreck-walking-pile-of-garbage'!"
"Oh, really? Bit of a mouthful. Perhaps we should just call you 'Wreck-Gar' for short."

—Angry Archer, Renaissance Man, does some on-the-spot dubbing.

[The Autobots are stuck in traffic]
Ratchet: Move it, already! Don't you humans have anything better to do?!
Sari: You should really try to be more patient with people.
Ratchet: I'd be a lot more patient with them...if they'd GET OUT OF MY WAY!

—Ratchet shows that road rage is alive and well in the 22nd century.

Bumblebee: [To Wreck-Gar] What are you? [To Sari] What is he?
Sari: I don't know, but he's givin' off a ton of AllSpark energy.
Wreck-Gar: I am Wreck-Gar! I give off a ton of AllSpark energy!
Bumblebee: So, what, an AllSpark fragment just brought a junk pile to life and made some new kind of Autobot?!
Wreck-Gar: I am Wreck-Gar! I am some new kind of Autobot?!
Ratchet: Listen up, scrapheap. You're not an Autobot, and you never will be an Autobot. You're only good for one thing...GARBAGE!
Wreck-Gar: I am Wreck-Gar! I am only good for one thing...GARBAGE! I must deliver garbage to all! [transforms and rolls out]

— Ratchet's lack of people skills backfires again.

Lugnut: Are you an Autobot?
Wreck-Gar: I am Wreck-Gar! I am not an Autobot and never will be an Autobot!
Lugnut: Ah! Then you must be a Decepticon!
Wreck-Gar: I am Wreck-Gar! I...must be a Decepticon!
[Wreck-Gar places a Decepticon badge on his chest]
Lugnut: Aah, ALL HAIL MEGATRON!
Wreck-Gar: All hail Megatron! Uh...w-what's a 'Megatron'?

— Wreck-Gar makes a new friend.

"You glitch-head! You're gonna destroy the whole city! You wouldn't dare do something THAT stupid!"
"I am Wreck-Gar! I dare to be stupid! I will destroy the whole city!

— Ratchet and Wreck-Gar. Yes, but does he count his chickens before they hatch?

"Well, whaddaya know. They like me. They really like me! Guess I got a way with words."

— Ratchet, discovering what we've known all along.

Velocity

Fanzone: I've been after them for weeks. They're part of an underground racing circuit.
Bulkhead: You mean they race in tunnels?
Fanzone: Underground as in illegal. As in they race in the streets and don't care who gets hurt.
Bulkhead: That's not what Sari told me.
Optimus: What purpose does this street race serve?
Fanzone: Eh, what else? They get a couple a' million pay-per-view customers for their pirate broadcasts, then it's "cha-ching cha-ching", big bucks.

—Captain Fanzone introduces the Autobots to the seedy world of underground racing.

Bumblebee: Lighten up, Bulkhead. We're supposed to be the fun bots, remember?
Bulkhead: Yeah, but we still gotta set a good example. She looks up to us.
Bumblebee: Hello, she looks up to everybody.
Sari: HEY!

—Bumblebee should be more sensitive about size issues.

"Hey...you know that's comin' out of my paycheck."

—Captain Fanzone manages to see the down side of being saved before Blitzwing destroyed his car.

[referring to Bumblebee's vehicle mode]
"How come your interior's so much cleaner than mine?"
"Hmm, maybe 'cause it's not on fire?"

—Captain Fanzone gets zinged by Sari.

Blitzwing (Hothead): Why can't I control myself?!
Blitzwing (Random): Not zat I ever could! AHAHAHA!

—Blitzwing while under the remote's influence.

"Oh, dizzy. Not liking the dizzy."

—Random Blitzwing

"Well, that's the trouble with bending the rules—cough—they usually snap right back in your face."

—Lessons in life from Captain Fanzone

Hothead Blitzwing: Never give up!
Icy Blitzwing: Never surrender!
Random Blitzwing: NEVER MIND!!
[Blitzwing swerves off into a nearby building]

—Blitzwing and the mysterious racer play a game of Chicken.

Rise of the Constructicons

[Scrapper bangs his shovel into Mixmaster]
Mixmaster: Hey, watch where you're pointing that thing, shovel-head!
Scrapper: Who you calling "shovel-head", cement-breath?!
Mixmaster: My name ain't "cement-breath", okay? It's...it's...uh...
Scrapper: Your little name tag says "Mixmaster".
Mixmaster: Nah, that's too long. Just call me "Mix".
Scrapper: All right, you got it, Mix. And you can call me...
[Sees a sign that says "SCRAP"]
Scrapper: ...Scrap.
Mixmaster: All right, that's too short. How 'bout "Scrapper"?
Scrapper: I like it.

—The Constructicons come to life and name themselves. They had an easier time than Wreck-Gar.

Scrapper: So, uh, what do we do now?
Mixmaster: Duh, we, like, build things. Alright?
[Mixmaster transforms to robot mode]
Scrapper: Uh, Mix? You're buildin' things out of yourself.
[Scrapepr does the same]
Mixmaster: Yo, Scrapper! You're doing it too!
Scrapper: Uh, we couldn't do that before, right?.
Mixmaster: What, talk, think, move by ourselves? I don't think so. We couldn't do any of that stuff before.".
Scrapper: Do you think that this is happening for, like, a reason?
Mixmaster: Uh, yeah.
[A red car speeds by.]
Mixmaster: Whoa! Check out the chassis on that one, huh?
Scrapper: And those tight little tailpipes! Yo, baby, over here!
Mixmaster: Yeah, I like it when they play hard to get.
[They transform and speed off.]

—The Constructicons contemplate their new-found existence but quickly throw it out the window when red cars are concerned.

"Hey, those don't grow back overnight!"

—Sari loses her pigtails. Of course, they're back by next episode.

Mixmaster: You okay, bro?
Hothead Blitzwing: DO I LOOK OKAY?!
Random Blitzwing: Or do these wing struts make me look fat?

—Blitzwing focuses on the important stuff.

[Lugnut prepares to use his punch]
Megatron: Wait!
[Lugnut falls back into mine, where his punch backfires]]
Lugnut:...I'm okay.

—Lugnut's life sucks, sometimes, you know?

Mixmaster: "You tricked us! You Decepticons are the scum o' the universe!"
Megatron: "...Whaaat? Who told you that?"
Scrapper: "Our friend Bulkhead."
Megatron: "And you believed him?"
Mixmaster: "Well, sure, he's our friend."
Megatron: "And did your friend tell you how his Autobot kind have oppressed us? Driven us from our rightful home? Oh, they may come across as complete imbeciles, but Autobots are cunning, ruthless, unforgiving."
Mixmaster: "Okay, like, this is too confusin' for me."
Megatron: "Then why don't I explain everything over a few barrels of oil?"
Mixmaster and Scrapper: [faces light up] "Oil?!"

—Seduction of the stupid.

"The Autobots' oil tastes like water next to this stuff!"
"It's my private blend."

—Mixmaster discovers that Megatron's an oil connoisseur.

Bulkhead: But...I thought we were friends.
Mixmaster: We are friends, Bulky, that's why we ain't gonna hurt you, okay? Long as you hand over whatever bits you got of the...th-...what did he call it again?
Scrapper: Uh, SparkAll? AllSpark, AllSpark.
Optimus: Over my offline body!
Mixmaster: Aghh—you know what? I have had enough of this dipstick-in-the-mud!
[Mixmaster shoves Prime back]
Bumblebee: Hey! He's our dipstick!
Ratchet: And nobody pushes him around!

—The Autobots defend the honor of their Prime...and fail miserably.

A Fistful of Energon

[Ratchet and Prime are communicating with Prowl and Bulkhead over the radio]
Ratchet: Prowl, any sign of the Dinobots?
Prowl: Negative, Ratchet. I'm starting to think those reports of rampages were nothing but exaggeration.
Optimus: We're not taking any chance, Prowl. That's why I had Ratchet lend you his EMP generator and those stasis cuffs.
Prowl: Still, I hardly think they're necessary. The Dinobots are territorial, but if left alone, they're perfectly happy.
[Grimlock roars, then runs out of the forest, charging the Autobots]
Bulkhead: He doesn't look too happy to me!

—The Autobots are Dinobot hunting...and things are not going well.

"Me Grimlock...better."

—Grimlock after Bulkhead removes the spike, but before he passes out.

"I'm afraid Sari and Bumblebee left on an important fact-finding mission this morning. To someplace called... 'Five Banners Roller Coaster Kingdom'."

—Optimus Prime gets duped.

"Personally, I've always found Bumblebee's fake static to be a lot more convincing."

—Ratchet doesn't get duped.

Starscream: You call this a fight? I'll rust before someone wins! And I'm in a vacuum.
Prowl and Lockdown: Will you keep quiet?!

—Prowl and Lockdown tell Starscream where to stick it.

"No! No, please! Leave me alone!"
"Maybe it's me, but that doesn't sound like the Starscream I know..."

—His reaction to Coward Starscream I's plea for mercy leaves one wondering if Lockdown has ever met the real Screamer...

Sycophant Starscream: Well, if it isn't my favorite band of plucky little Autobots.
Optimus: Autobots, prepare for battle!
Sycophant Starscream: Wait, you misunderstand. Noble Optimus Prime, wise Ratchet, stealthy Prowl and mighty...eh...
Bulkhead: Bulkhead!
Sycophant Starscream: Ooh, that's too bad.

—Starscream pulls a Bumblebee

"Did you really think I would offer so little a challenge? I allowed you to capture these clones to fulfill my plan to eliminate you all! Especially you, MegaFOOL! Mwa-hah-ha-ha-ha! In moments you will be blown to bits, and I will become the Supreme Leader of ALL DECEPTICONS!"

—Speaking through his clones, the real Starscream's speech-making tendencies are undimmed, even if he now prefers to do it from a safe distance.

SUV: Society of Ultimate Villainy

"An Autobot. Verily, the arrows of outrageous misfortune seek to pierce me to the quick. Exeunt!"

—Angry Archer. Yon criminal maketh his escape...or something.

"Explosions aren't nice...except when they look like BEAUTIFUL RAINBOWS!"

—Professor Princess, ever the fashion plate.

"Ooh, I like a man who works fast!"
"And I like a girl who takes it slow."

—Slo-Mo and Nanosec go over the target audience's heads. Hopefully.

"Negatronic force field emitter. A little something I picked up in an arms deal with the Vok of Nexus Zero. Nice creatures, the Vok. If you're ever in the Nexus Zero area, do yourself a favor and check them out. You won't be sorry."

—Swindle thinks the Vok are quite nice. It probably helps if they're not destroying your planet.

"Megatron, you old warmonger! It's been stellar cycles. I can't tell you how tickled I was to learn that my favorite customer was still online. You look great by the way."
"Oh, spare me the platitudes, Swindle. How did you get this frequency?"
"A mutual bounty-hunting friend provided it in exchange for a weapon or two. Professional scruples prevent me from revealing his name."
"Scruples? You'd sell your own motherboard to the highest bidder."

—Swindle pours on the charm while Megatron pours on the acid.

"Are you seeing this? Are you loving this? Every machine, every robot in Detroit, inoperable! I could spring a leak, I'm so excited!"

—Swindle about to sell you some Ginsu knives.

"Welcome to Sumdac Tower. Porter C. Powell is a booger-head."

—Receptionist-Bot calls it like it is...with a little help from Sari Sumdac.

"Where's the off switch on this thing? Oh yeah, right here."

—Sari. Yep, she found the right thing.

Optimus: You should have called us sooner. If that weapon had gotten into Megatron's hands—
Bumblebee: I know. I guess I just wanted to prove that I still had my touch.
Ratchet: Well, I hope you've learned something about team work.
Bumblebee: Oh, yeah. Even the star player needs backup sometimes.

—Bumblebee learns the value of teamwork. Humility? Not so much...

Autoboot Camp

"Hey there, little buddy. You mind scanning me next to these tall buildings? They'll never believe me back home."
"Mhm. First time off the energon farm?"
"How'd you know?"

—Bulkhead and Bumblebee, together for the first time.

Sentinel Minor: Wipe that smile off your face, dullspark!
Bulkhead: Uh, I'm not smiling, sir! My jaw is just tempered that way, sir!
Bumblebee: Forget Mudflap's jaw, check out the asteroid-sized chin on Sarge!
Sentinel Minor: YOU GOT A COMMENT, FUNNY-BOT?!
Bumblebee: No, sir!

—The future Sentinel Prime is a little sensitive about his chin. Maybe it's why he's such a jerk.

Sentinel Minor: Now here's a bot who knows his place. You should try to be more like your friend here.
Bumblebee: He's not my friend, sir!
Sentinel Minor: WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!

—Mr. Personality does it again.

"You are nothing but a BUMBLER! From now on, your name is...BUMBLEBEE!"

—And lo, a legend was born, thanks to Sentinel Minor

[stands in the middle of an empty yard, holding up oil drums, reciting...]
"I am a worthless oil stain. I am a worthless oil stain. I am a worthless oil stain...why am I even doing this?"

—Sentinel Minor's punishment of Bumblebee could be considered "cruel and unusual".

"You would not believe the glitches the Commander's saddled me with this time. I'm starting to think that Ultra Magnus is a few circuits shy of a full processor, know what I mean? Oh, sure, he was The Bot back in the day, but now? Ultra Magnus is just a rusted-out, obsolete model sorely in need of an upgrade."

—Sentinel Minor is a suck-up only to the boss's face. Quelle surprise.

"But I'm innocent, I tell you! You're making a big mistake, all of you!"
"Mute it, traitor!"
[Sentinel strips Wasp of his Autobot insignia]
"I'll get you, Bumblebee, if it's the last thing I do!

—Wasp proclaims his innocence as he's wheeled away in restraints, while Sentinel Minor acts much as ever.

"I couldn't leave you all alone out here like that. I should've, but I didn't."

—Bulkhead is loyal, but not stupid.

"Bumblebot not hide from Wasp. Wasp swears he find Bumblebot. Wasp make Bumblebot pay for RUINING WASP'S LIFE!"

—There lies a broken Wasp...

"Our long stellar cycles of planning will now come to fruition. I knew your size-altering power would allow you to blend in perfectly with the Autobots. Well done, my loyal servant...Shockwave."

—Megatron really knows how to introduce a major plot point Decepticon.

Black Friday

Blackarachnia: You want to steal a kiss from me?
[Grimlock nods eagerly and puckers up, and Blackarachnia drains his powers.]
Blackarachnia: But that means I steal something from you too!
[Shoots a stream of flame at Snarl and Swoop]

—Blackarachnia: every evil girlfriend you've ever had rolled into one.

"I'm not going anywhere! This cell is impenetrable, much like that thick skull of yours. No one can break in or out."
"Dinobots not break box. Dinobots take box!"

—Meltdown gets "released" from prison by Grimlock

Blackarachnia: With your help, I can finally purge myself of this accursed organic contamination.
[Transforms]
Meltdown: Ooh la la. Actually, that's a much better look for you. Why would I help you get rid of it?
Blackarachnia: Because it would make me very unhappy if you didn't. And when I'm unhappy, they're unhappy!
Grimlock: RAAARRR! Unhappy!

—Like his predecessor, Grimlock makes a simple sentence freaking terrifying.

[Porter C. Powell shows Captain Fanzone prison security footage of Meltdown and Sari]
Fanzone: I don't suppose you wanna tell me how you came into possession of that recording?
Powell: What's does it matter where I got it?! I'm—I'm not on trial here, Captain! My life could be in danger. I deserve protection!
Fanzone: Oh, you want protection? Get a Schnauzer.

—Fanzone shows Porter Powell that wealth can't buy respect for a big enough jerk.

Optimus Prime: "We're not here to scare people! We're here to get Meltdown's genetic modifier. Maybe you'd be less conspicuous in robot mode."
Grimlock: "Okay..." [transforms] "But me Grimlock still taller than YOU. That why Spider-Lady like me Grimlock best."

—Pissing contest, Transformer-style.

Optimus: Grimlock, as soon as she gets that genetic modifier, she'll drop us like a used engine block.
Grimlock: Autobot bad. Me Grimlock go alone!
[Grimlock walks away down an alley, then comes back]
Grimlock: Uh...where me Grimlock find genetic thingy?
Optimus: Oh, come on. I know who can get it.
Grimlock: Me Grimlock go with you....but me Grimlock go with you ALONE!

—Grimlock shows Optimus Prime what's what.

Grimlock: Uh, me Grimlock not supposed to scare puny humans.
Optimus: This one you can scare all you want.
Grimlock: THEN GIVE US THINGY! NOW!!!
[transforms into beast mode, then grabs Powell with his mouth]
Powell: What thingy?! What's he talking about?!
Optimus: Prometheus Black's genetic modifier?
Powell: Never heard of it.
Optimus: Did I mention that my partner is awfully hungry?
[Grimlock throws Powell into the air and catches him in his mouth]
Powell: Y-you can have it! I know where it is!

—After months of utter dickishness, Porter C. Powell finally ends up where he belongs—Grimlock's mouth.

Powell: Don't touch anything! Since he went bankrupt, technically, all this belongs to me.
[Grimlock falls and breaks everything]
Grimlock: [points at Optimus] Him did it.

—Like a toddler, Grimlock blames Optimus for everything.

Meltdown: Shall we proceed then? [plugs in genetic modifier]
Blackarachnia: Whatever it takes to get rid of this foul half of myself.
Meltdown: Uhhhh...about that. I should probably mention a slight change in plans.
Blackarachnia: What?
Meltdown: Don't worry! I will be purging half of your techno-organic form...just not the half you think.
Blackarachnia: You slimy traitor! You can't! I won't let you!
Meltdown: I guess the Dinobots never mentioned my disdain for machines. Once we eliminate all your robotic circuitry, your remaining arachnid tissue will be perfect for my genetic experiments, and I will finally achieve my dream of creating a transforming organic!
Blackarachnia: NOOOOO!
Meltdown: It's time for your extreme MAKEOVER! [throws the lever]

—Blackarachnia learns that it's not nice to screw with Meltdown.

[Prowl and Bumblebee wake up after being cured by Blackarachnia's venom]
Bumblebee: Uhh...how long have we been here?
Optimus: Almost two mega-cycles.
Bumblebee: Ha! And you said I couldn't go ten cycles without talking!
Prowl: Mmm-hmm, all it took was being paralyzed.
Bumblebee: What, you're making new rules now? I don't think so! Pay up with that sweet axle grease.

—Prowl and Bumblebee debate the rules of their bet.

Sari, No One's Home

"'S'matter witchoo?! You're an excavator, not a golf cart! Grow a backhoe and let's get some oil!"

—Mixmaster tells Scrapper to man up.

Hothead Blitzwing: AUTOBOTS! I WILL CRUSH THEM INTO IRON FILINGS!
Icy Blitzwing: But my orders are to find the Constructicons.
Random Blitzwing: Ooh, but I LIKE iron filings! Especially sprinkled on top of servo salad!

—Ladies and gentlemen, Random Blitzwing just got a little scarier.

Now I'll have to call Prime and the others from the Communication center, out there. By the time they get here, those two oil guzzlers'll wreck the whole place. [stares at her teddy bear] "No. This is my house, and I'm going to defend it! I'll show them I'm just as tough as they are!" [quieter] "Even though I'm talking to a teddy bear."

—Sari becomes the next Macaulay Culkin

"You broke my cell phone, but you are not gonna break my TV!"

—Sari Sumdac is filled with righteous fury.

"YI-AHHHHHH!"
[hits Mix with a hockey stick, which breaks]
"Okay...that's as far as my plan got."

—Sari vs. the Constructicons.

(after Sari's 'hockey attack' fails)
Mixmaster: What the front-end loader was that?

-You all wish he said 'forklift', don't you?

Hothead Blitzwing: COME BACK HERE, SO I CAN PULL YOUR PISTONS OUT THROUGH YOUR TAILPIPES!
Random Blitzwing: Oh, and void your warranty with excess wear and tear. AAAHAHAHA!

—Ah, Blitzwing, how we've missed you.

Optimus Prime: "I, uh, apologize for underestimating you, Sari. You performed bravely today."
Bumblebee: "Glad you're okay, squirt."
[they walk inside and an enormous pile of mess]
Bulkhead: "SAAARRRIII!!!"

—Optimus officially becomes a father.

"You were right, Scrap. That little beast is a terror! I'll never doubt you again!"
"I think we lost her."
"Nah, I doubt it."

—Mixmaster can't keep his word to Scrapper for three seconds, can he?

A Bridge Too Close, Part I

"Ah, never before have I seen such an impressive group of lethal fighting machines! And pretty good-looking, if I do say so myself."

—The ever-humble Starscream comments on his clone army.

Skywarp, the Coward Starscream: Us? Against Megatron?!? ARE YOU INSANE?!? [Meekly] Ah, I think I just sprang an oil leak...
Thundercracker, the Egomaniac Starscream: Silence, you fool! Megatron is a worthless pile of scrap metal compared to my genius.
Sunstorm, the Sycophant Starscream: Brilliant observation! Brilliant! But your genius pales in comparison to the genius of our leader, the original Starscream.
Starscream: Mmm, I could listen to this one all day!
Ramjet, the Liar Starscream: What are you talking about? I am the original Starscream!
Starscream: Liar! I am the original Starscream.
Ramjet: I never said I was the original Starscream.
Starscream: You just did right now.
Ramjet: No, I didn't.
Starscream: Yes, you did.
Ramjet: No, I didn't.
Starscream: Yes, you did!
Ramjet: No. I. Didn't.
Slipstream, the Female Starscream: Ohh, haven't you figured it out yet? He's a pathological liar. Each of us clones represents one aspect of your personality. [points to each clone in turn] He's a coward... he's an egomaniac... he's a suck-up... he's a liar.
Ramjet: I am not!
Starscream: So, which part of me did you come from?
Slipstream: Don't ask.
Starscream: [sigh] This is going to be a long orbital cycle.

—Best introdump ever?

"I just didn't think my head was so big."
"That's your leg."

—Sari and Bulkhead. Oh, the irony!

Sari: No, don't shoot! You'll hit my dad!
Bulkhead: She's right!
Bumblebee: So what are we supposed to do? Fight him with snappy comebacks?

—Bumblebee conveniently forgets his normal attack strategy.

Bumblebee: All right, Zippy, start talking!
[Blurr transforms from vehicle mode to robot mode]
Blurr: First of all, the name's not "Zippy"! As a matter of fact, I don't believe I've ever met another bot named Zippy, so one can only assume that you came up with "Zippy" in reference to my speed, which may be technically accurate, but lacks a certain creativity!
Bumblebee: Eh...eh-eh...
Blurr: More to the point, the name's Blurr! I'm an Autobot intelligence agent, sent to this planet by the Elite Guard to keep an eye on Optimus Prime and his crew as well as monitor the Decepticon activity, and you, my friend, have just blown a decacycle of covert surveillance designed to uncover Megatron's plot to conquer Cybertron. Everything was going according to plan when I intercepted a communication between the Decepticon leader and an unknown double agent! They were in the midst of plotting the abduction of an unsuspecting Autobot, which now, from the status of the current ground situation, appears to have been successful. Got that so far?
Bumblebee: Uh...could you repeat the last part?
Blurr: Which last part?
Bumblebee: Oh, everything after "The name's not Zippy."

—It took Bumblebee a long time to get Blurr to start talking. From this point on, he doesn't shut up.

Bumblebee: Woah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up!
Prowl: Did he just say Bulkhead?
Optimus Prime: Our Bulkhead?
Ratchet: An expert? On anything?!

—The Autobots aren't terribly impressed with Bulkhead.

"I must be a bigger pain in the gearshaft than I thought."

—Starscream openly admits one of his primary faults.

"Okay, I give. I'm officially no longer the fastest thing on wheels."

—Bumblebee is humbled after seeing Blurr's speedy takedown of Blitzwing and Lugnut.

A Bridge Too close Part II

Megatron: (while being attacked by Starscream clones Mixmaster, find Lugnut and Blitzwing! Scrapper, back me up!
Mixmaster: So what does he expect me to do? I'm a builder, not a fighter. (stray laser blast goes through the oil barrel he was drinking from) That's it! No one messes with my motor oil!

-Mixmaster fights for what he holds important, except he wasn't told to fight.

Thundercracker, the Egomanic Starscream: Fool! A mere construction-bot is no match for my superior firepower.
Mixmaster: Oh, really. Well, you know where you can stick it?
(Traps the clone with a glob of adhesive goo)
Thundercracker: Impossible! You cannot defeat me! You are not worthy! You are inferior! And your joke stinks!

—Arrogance claims yet another Starscream.

"It's not like you to hide behind an Autobot."
"But it's completely like you to hide behind an army of cheap knockoffs."

—Starscream and Megatron always discuss each other's flaws—even in the midst of battle.

Starscream: Well, what are you waiting for? Destroy Megatron!
Slipstream:...Any leader has to be an improvement over you!
Sunstorm, the Sycophant Starscream: Oh wise and great Megatron, you have truly proven your vast superiority!
Ramjet, the Liar Starscream: I will remain loyal to you forever!
[Kicks Starscream's body and walks over to Megatron]

—Starscream learns that his clones all share the worst aspect of his personality—his treachery.

Optimus: I still don't see where all this "expertise" came from.
Bulkhead: I had a lot of time to study space bridge schematics back on the energon farm. I just had a knack for 'em, I guess.
Bumblebee: Oh, well, that's great. So the one thing you're good at is going to hand Cybertron over to the Decepticons.

—Even after being declared a technical genius, Bulkhead still can't catch a break.

Megatron: Decepticons! Prepare for our conquest of Cybertron!
[The Decepticons start cheering wildly.]
Scrapper: What's a Cybertron?
Mixmaster: I have no idea, he lost me at "Your fate is sealed now."

—The Constructicons are in this for the oil, not the conquests.

"First, we need to test the Space Bridge - just in case our Autobot expert decided to sabotage it."
"And I will be waiting for the test subject on this side - just in case he didn't sabotage it."

—Proof of why Megatron and Shockwave are good at the "evil genius" game - they make effort to eliminate all options for their enemies.

Ratchet: Careful not to fire on our friends!
Sari Sumdac: And try to get a visual of my dad!
Omega Supreme: Sure... what's a dad?

—Omega Supreme is confused on the concept of organics and their paternal relationships. Bit like us really.

Lugnut: Your size is meaningless compared to the greatness of Megatron! Ha!
Slipstream: Size. That's it. Everyone, aim for the legs!

—Lugnut, brave as always and the Female Starscream clone proving herself to be an effective leader.

Sunstorm: Oh great and mighty Autobot, it is an honor merely to bask in your majestic pres—
(Omega Supreme swats him.)
Sunstorm: AAAGGGHH!
Ramjet: Hey look! Your stabilizing servo is unbolted!
(Omega Supreme kicks him)
Ramjet: WAAAGGHH!
Hothead Blitzwing: You overgrown Autobot! I will scramble your circuits so bad you'll need a GPS scanner to find your own exhaust port—
(Gets headbutted by Omega Supreme and is sent flying into the distance)
Random Blitzwing: Mayday! Mayday! Let's all dance around ze maypole!

—Omega Supreme versus the Decepticons. It didn't go too well for them.

"Sari, we... need to talk."

—Isaac Sumdac's entry in "The Understatement of the Year" competition.

Megatron: Stop staring at me.
Starscream: No. You stop staring at me!
Megatron: Do you think I actually want to spend the rest of eternity gazing at your unsightly visage?
Starscream: Trust me: your visage is no picnic either. And your face is ugly too!
Megatron: Oh, someone just take me offline now...
Starscream: What do you think I've been trying to do for the last four million stellar cycles?! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's funny, really, when you think about it. Tragic, but funny! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Megatron: Oh, shut up.

—Stranded and helpless in space, Megatron and Starscream bicker to the end.

TransWarped

"'Bulkhead' and 'genius' in the same sentence? I'll never get used to that."

—Bumblebee shows his high opinion of his best friend.

"I'll warn them even if I have to run halfway across the galaxy to Cybertron to do it!"

—Blurr, who apparently does just that.

"Sari, I don't pretend to fully understand humans, but from what I've seen, being a father is far more than a simple organic bond. It has much more to do with the spark. With the heart."

—Optimus Prime muses on the nature of family. Sadly, the fandom desires more concrete answers.

"Prepare for TOT! Total Ownage Time!"

—Headmaster to Optimus Prime and the Sumdacs.

Masterson: Cut it out and fight like a robot!
[Optimus fully transforms]
Optimus: Why don't you try fighting like a jet? That is, unless you don't think you can handle transforming. It is pretty difficult. Especially for a "n00b" such as yourself.
Masterson: N-Nobody calls me a n00b! NOBODY!

—Optimus hits the Headmaster where it hurts the most—his own vocabulary.

Megatron: It's no use. I can't break through without my weapons.
Starscream: Ahem. You're forgetting one of us is a weapon.
[Starscream fires his sonic blast, but the recoil sends him ricocheting around the bridge, screaming all the while]
Megatron: And a pitiful one, at that.

—Even weaponless and trapped inside an Autobot, Megatron can still take comfort in the fact that he's still better off than Starscream.

Ratchet: Last time I checked, I was this team's medic, and I've been doing it this way for over four million stellar cycles! Any bot got a problem with that?
Prowl: Uh, no, not really.
Bulkhead: No, I'm good.

—Ratchet lays down the law on the Autobots.

"You taught me to protect like an Autobot, but all I did was destroy like a Decepticon."
"We do what we must, even if it sometimes doesn't make sense."
"I don't understand."
"I'm not sure I do, either. Just rest now, friend. You've earned it."
"Thank you..."

—Omega Supreme and Ratchet, before the former is put into modified stasis

Ratchet: Omega, what are you doing?! Don't you recognize your old friend?!
Megatron: The question should be, "Don't you recognize your old enemy?"
Optimus Prime: Megatron?!
Megatron: Ah, then you do remember my name. Pity I can't remember yours.

—The Autobots learn that Megatron has taken control of Omega Supreme

"It appears you and I are destined to battle aboard this ship once more, Autobot."
"Bring it on, Decepticon."

—Megatron and Optimus Prime

"Starscream too powerful. Please, shut me down! I want to sleep again."
"I already had to use this thing once today when I didn't want to. Don't make me use it again."
"We do what we must, even if it sometimes doesn't make sense."

—Omega Supreme tries to convince Ratchet to use his EMP Generator

"Someday I really have to learn how to fly."

—Someday will come soon, Optimus Prime

Three's a Crowd

Bulkhead: These AllSpark fragments should give the power core a boost.
Sumdac: Be careful, Bulkhead! We don't want to overload it.
Bulkhead: Relax. When it comes to space bridges, I know what I'm doing.
[The floor starts to give way beneath them]
Bulkhead: But I'm not so hot at structural integrity!

—Bulkhead and Sumdac learn that there are flaws with building a giant space bridge in a tower.

Scrapper: [viewing the forklift he's just hauled up] What the slag is that?
[Forklift transforms into Dirt Boss]
Bulkhead: If I had to guess, a forklift, a Headmaster unit, an Allspark fragment, and a whole lot of trouble.

—Dirt Boss's first transformation speaks volumes to Bulkhead.

Dirt Boss: What are you cogs looking at? You want a piece of me? Try it and you'll be going to the scrapyard in a cracker box.
Bulkhead: Whoa! Someone's got a big chip on their engine block.
Dirt Boss: You ever tried working for a livin', tiny? Takin' orders from the man? "Move this! Move that!" Well, forget about that! I'm in charge now!
Scrapper: [whispering to Mixmaster] Who stalled and made him boss?
Dirt Boss: That's Dirt Boss to you! Ya got a problem with that? [fires cerebro-shell into Scrapper's forehead]
Scrapper: What? No! Ow! Stop!
Dirt Boss: Ya got a problem? [Scrapper hits himself] Ya got a problem? [Scrapper hits himself] Ya got a problem? [Scrapper hits himself]

—Dirt Boss establishes his position in the pecking order.

"Tell 'em there's a new boss in town: Dirt Boss!"

—Dirt Boss, every chance he gets.

"Will you slag that annoying little pipsqueak already?!"
"Who're you calling "pipsqueak", short stuff?

—Dirt Boss and Bumblebee engage in height cracks.

"Oh, I so don't have time for this."

—Optimus Prime, in desperate need of some leave.

"Uh, you promise me you will, ahem, never speak of this to Megatron..."
"Oh, I promise."

—Lugnut and Ramjet engage in epic foreshadowing of something that, sadly, probably won't be is never brought up again.

Where Is Thy Sting?

"Besides, if I'm playing Ninja Gladiator, I'm at least getting valuable combat training."

—Bumblebee gives justification for slacking off.

"Liquid falling from the sky? What is wrong with this planet?!"
"Crazy! It's like a planet and a car wash! You diggin' this or what?"

—Sentinel Prime and Jazz share their thoughts on the rain.

"Wasp—I mean, Bumblebot—I mean, I will stay here in case Bumblebot—I mean, Wasp comes back."

—Wasp blows his cover several times, but the Autobots still don't pick it up.

Ratchet: Come on! You're doing it wrong! Turn into the skid!
Sentinel: Into the skid? That's stupid!
Jazz: Just gotta go with the flow, S.P.!
Optimus: How do you put up with him?
Jazz: I just tune out half of everything he spits out.
Optimus: Only half?

—The Autobots attempt to put up with the jerk, with no such luck.

"You're not arresting anyone, Sentinel."
"So you are in on it, Optimus."
"No, Sentinel. I just have something you never will: respect for my teammates."

—Optimus Prime defines exactly how Sentinel Prime is a jerk.

"So hit me with that one more time. A robot in disguise swaps metal with a double agent, who is really on the level?"
"Makes even less sense when you say it."

—Jazz and Bulkhead try their best to fathom what's been going on.

"You were always mean to me and Bumblebee. You may not be a traitor...but you were never a good bot."

—Bulkhead has a go at the traumatised victim of a frame-job—who's holding his best friend hostage.

Five Servos of Doom

Jetfire: Sentinel Prime, sir, tell please.
Jetstorm: How did you making to capture this badness bot?
Optimus: Yes, Sentinel. How did you capture this badness bot?

—Optimus Prime and the twins question Sentinel and butcher the English language.

Warpath: Ask me, he should rust in the stockade. Any Autobot who won't fight the Decepticons is no better than a Con himself. We're at war.
Prowl: It's not my war!
Warpath: Then maybe I should take you out back and make it your war!
Yoketron: I believe I can take it from here.
Warpath: Bam pow! Lousy draft-dodgin' peacenik.

—Warpath has no time for draft-dodgers.

"Give. Me. Yoketron's. Helmet."

—Prowl, not pissing around.

"Couldn't resist that old armor, though, could ya? What makes you think you can handle it this time?"
"I've learned something since then. It's the ninja-bot, not the weapon."

—Lockdown and Prowl

"Whoa, bro. P-over-M."

—Jazz, impressed with Prowl's processor-over-matter mastery.

"Diggin' the new armor, specially Yoketron's helmet. He'd be proud to have you wear it."
"Thank you. I plan to do everything in my power to be worthy of it."

—Jazz and Prowl

Predacons Rising

Bumblebee: Hate to say it, but Sentinel's got a point. I'd feel a lot safer with Wasp behind bars.
Optimus: That's not your call to make, Bumblebee.
Sentinel: And it's not your call to make either, Optimus. I'm in command.
Optimus: On Cybertron. This planet is my jurisdiction.
Sentinel: This is a Cybertronian fugitive, and I'll enforce my authority as the...the uh...primer Prime!
Optimus: Did you just make that up?!
Sentinel: No!
Optimus: There's no such thing as a Primer Prime!
Sentinel: It's a real term. Look it up.
Optimus: I'm not gonna look it up!
Sentinel: 'Fraid I'm right?

—Optimus and Sentinel engage in what can be politely described as a pissing contest.

Sentinel: Right, okay. Here's the plan. Give me a few nanokliks to get into position and, then, give me a diversion to draw them away from the entrance.
Jetfire: De version? Vat kind of version?
Jetstorm: Means for we to blow something up!
Jetfire: Oh, good! I am liking de version!

—The Twins enjoy blowing stuff up.

"I just never knew, never imagined that something this... unspeakable could have happened to you. How can you even live like that?! It's horrible! It's disgusting!"
"Okay, okay, I get it! It's bad, but it's not that bad, all right?!"
"No. It's worse. You should have gone offline."

—Sentinel Prime has more issues with Blackarachnia's condition than she does.

Blackarachnia: So that's it?! You just slag your old friend Elita-1?
Sentinel Prime: Don't say that name! You don't deserve to say that name!
(Sentinel swipes, knocking Blackarachnia's helmet off, revealing her true face)
Sentinel Prime: You're not Elita-1, you mutant freak. Elita-1 went offline a long time ago.

—Sentinel may actually be right for once, albeit coming from the wrong direction.

"Let him go, Blackarachnia."
"Why should I, Optimus?"
"Because I'm the one who left you behind. Sentinel's not the one to blame for what you look like."
"What I look like is only half the story. What I am is a lot more complicated."

—Optimus Prime and Blackarachnia, as the latter attacks Sentinel

"Hey, speaking of friends, I wanted to say I'm sorry—you know, for everything I did and didn't do."
"Wasp forgive Bumble-bot."
"Oh. Really?"
"BUT WAZZPINATOR NEVER FORGIVE!"

—Bumblebee and Waspinator

"C'mon, ease up, you two. [Sentinel]'s been through a lot."
"Never thought I'd hear you sticking up for S.P."
"He's a good bot... even if he doesn't know how to let go of a grudge."

—Optimus Prime surprises Jazz and the audience.

"Wazzpinator cannot go offline. Wazzpinator have planzz. [Waspinator Snarls]"

—Waspinator, foreshadowing.

Human Error Part I

"That toy rightfully belongs to me, Powell! You are a thieving crook!"
"And a Merry Christmas to you too, Professor Sumdac, but I acquired your toy's patents fair and square when I owned your company. Now I'm sharing Sound Wave with the entire world, for only $19.99 each."
"$19.99? How does he do it?!"

—Professor Sumdac unwittingly provides PR for Porter C. Powell's products. Say that three times fast.

Ratchet: And I'm telling you, there is no way that this "Santa Claus" could deliver billions of presents in one night.
Prowl: I can think of at least one way. Ho. Ho. Ho.
[Prowl projects holograms of himself]
Optimus: A sound theory, Prowl. I did see multiple Santas in the shopping district tonight.

—The Autobots weigh in on the debate of how Santa does his job.

"We need to get to Sumdac Tower. Auto—uh, men. Transfo—er, uh, roll—er, uh, oh, let's...let's just go."

—Optimus Prime has a few slips on his "roll out" command.

"Why would ze Autobots choose to be human?"
"Not for the fashion sense, I can tell you that. A-ha-ha-ha!"

—Icy Blitzwing and Random Blitzwing, the next Tim Gunn.

"Not a creature was stirring, not even a—[Laserbeak flies out of the Autobrand on the floor] creepy robot bird?"

—Sari Sumdac adds a new twist to a classic Christmas tale.

"Oh, look! I have a hole in my rocket!"

—Even horrible injury cannot faze Random Blitzwing.

"Hey, we're baaaaack!"
"Not all of us!"
"It might help you if you make the noise with your mouth like this: Choo-chuh-chah-chik!"
"Sounds silly... But, okay. Choo-chuh-chah-chah-chik! Choo-chuh-chah-chah-chik!"

— Bumblebee and Bulkhead, making the transformation noise like so many of us do—DID. As children. Yeah.

Human Error Part II

Driver: Hey! Take it easy, leadfoot!
Bulkhead: What, it's not lead any more!
[Bumblebee's car hits Bulkhead's car]
Bumblebee: Virtual Fanzone's gonna be ticked!
Optimus: I have to hand it to the humans, driving is much more difficult than it looks.
Ratchet: [Driving backwards] This ain't so hard.
Prowl: It's merely a matter of becoming one with the machiAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [Begins popping a wheelie]

—The Autobots take their turn at driving... and fail miserably.

"Hey, weren't there three of you? Where's the other one?"
"Me Grimlock not talking to him. Him traitor. Dinobots not pets."

—Sari Sumdac and Grimlock on the status of the Dinobots.

[Writing in the sand] "Day 48: Still no sign of my collea-...my buds. I have befriended and trained one of the local wildlife." [Tide comes up and erases writing] "Oh, not again!"

—Scrapper just can't win.

Sari: All right. Substitute Autobots, transform and roll out!
Wreck-Gar: Transform. What a good idea!
[Transforms and drives off]
Scrapper: [Riding Snarl] Hi-ho, Snarl!
[Snarl slips on some ice, knocking off Scrapper, who transforms and follows]
Scrapper: Hey, Snarl, wait for Daddy!
Sari: Hey, wait for me! I'm your leader!

—The Substitute Autobots aren't getting off to a good start.

Sari: All right, big guy. I'd hate to do this, but..
[Sari fires a blast at Optimus, but he uses Wreck-Gar as a shield, causing some of his junk to fly out and hit him]
Wreck-Gar: [Dazed] Ha ha! The mighty Wreck-Gar is no match for...the mighty Wreck-Gar. Wait, whose side am I on?

—Wreck-Gar, actually more confused than usual.

"Time to change your tune, Soundwave. Operation: face the music."

—Optimus Prime, being awesome.

Decepticon Air

Isaac Sumdac: Fine, I'll just recalibrate the field-sequencers myself!
Bulkhead: Not before I do the calculations myself!
Isaac Sumdac: You think I can not isolate a transwarp frequency barrier?!
Bulkhead: I'm just saying you don't have the same experience as me.
Isaac Sumdac: I have done it before!
Bulkhead: Yeah, for Megatron!

Sentinel Prime: All due respect, Alpha Trion, the Council should concern itself with more important matters, like beefing up security for the Decepticon prisoners that... ahem... I captured.
Cliffjumper: I thought that was Prowl.

Sentinel Prime: Those bureaucratobots couldn't find their own diodes with a bitmap and a homing beacon.
Swindle: My my, what a golden opportunity.
Lugnut:The Autobot fools will pay for their insolence. Remove these stasis cuffs at once!
Swindle: All in good time. First we need to discuss compensation. You get freedom but what do I get? You see where I'm going here?
Lugnut: The honor of serving of Megatron should be reward enough!
Swindle: Megatron! Why didn't you say so!? The ol' warmonger's my #1 customer!
Swindle: Now let's see about getting you rearmed. It's been stellar cycles but I never forget a weapon.
Swindle: Naturally, everything comes with a million solar cycle warranty, excluding battle damage of course.
Lugnut: You Autobots will pay! Pay with your Sparks!
Swindle: I also accept all major credit-downloads.

Jazz: The alarms didn't make a peep!
Sentinel: How is that even possible?
Swindle The Sonic Jammer 3000! Don't leave Cybertron without it! But wait, there's more, it also has a stasis suspension ray, handy for those tight spots.
Swindle: Never could get the hang of cloning. Why don't you try these on for size, just so I can tell you bots apart?
Lugnut: So, Swindle cannot be bothered to guard the prisoners!
Starscream: So... now we're picking up hitchhikers?
Megatron:(smacks Starscream at the back of head.)

---

Megatron: We need those codes to control Omega Supreme. And if any bot can access them, it is you my ever loyal Shockwave
Starscream: Uh-oh, looks like Megatron has a new favourite. And I'll give you a hint: it ain't you!
Lugnut: (pushes Shockwave out of the way) What about me, master? Have I not served you loyally?
Arcee: That is a very good question, young bot. Only the AllSpark knows for sure.

---

Arcee: Cybertron is our home planet. We must protect it from the growing Decepticon menace...menace...Decepticon...
Megatron: Can't you shut her up? She makes Blitzwing sound like he's got his head screwed on straight!
Starscream: You see. Now he even likes Blitzwing better than you.
Shockwave: Hmmm.
Lugnut: (shoves Shockwave out of the way again) NO!(shows Shockwave hitting a wall) I am the most faithful.
Shockwave: Have you blown a diode?! I'm trying to work here! (Both fight each other)
Megatron: Oh, for spark's sake!

This is why I hate machines

Captain Fanzone: The only thing I hate worse than machines is Tech Support for machines!

Ratchet: Okay, that's probably not good...

Captain Fanzone: I'd be a happier man if I never saw another...robot?

Tracks: It's organic!

Megatron: No Autobot would be foolish enough to fire on their greatest weapon.

Captain Fanzone: That Sentinel clown looked like he could use a good kick in the can.

Shockwave: I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

Ratchet: You may have Omega Supreme, but he would never attack Cybertron!
Shockwave: That's the beauty of activation codes. They wipe clean of all that unpleasant morality.

Captain Fanzone: So, what are we looking for here?
Ratchet: Let's just say that everything you need to know is behind this door.
(Ratchet opens med bay, only to reveal an unconscious Arcee.)
Captain Fanzone: Uh, right. Sure. Robot dame in a room. Explains everything!

Shockwave: You're fighting rather bravely for nothing but a shelved piece of empty hardware.
Ratchet: She's got a name: Arcee. And if you think you can bring her back, then maybe I can too!
Shockwave: How noble. Pity you won't get the opportunity to find out!

Shockwave: You're a tough old model aren't you? Maybe it's time to retire!

Captain Fanzone: This is why I hate machines. Certain machines more than others.

Captain Fanzone: I get mixed up in a war, nearly stepped on, blasted, buried and possibly zapped into space, and now, you just made me an accomplice to intergalactic grand theft!
Security Bot: Halt, you are under arrest.
(Ratchet blows up the malfunctioning bot, then grins at Fanzone while flexing his weapon.)
Captain Fanzone: Let's say we call it even.

Sentinel Prime: And I'd do it again if it meant saving Cybertron.
Alpha Trion: If it were up to me alone, you would NEVER get that chance.

Shockwave: At long last, I serve you, my liege, under my true colors.
(Shockwave turns to his original colors, resembling his G1 counterpart)
Megatron: Rise, Shockwave, my most loyal servant.

Endgame Part I

Ratchet: Are you out of your motherboarding mind?! Autobots can't fly!
Bulkhead: What about Jetfire and Jetstorm?
Bumblebee: And Prowl's rocket sidecar thingy.
Sari: Heck, even I have a jetpack.

---

Sari: No, you're off by two millimeters!
Ratchet: Don't tell me where to weld!!
Issac Sumdac: Don't argue with her, trust me.
Ratchet: I'm not gonna argue, 'cause I know this thing will never fly! (presses a button in jetpack and smoke bursts out of exhaust)
Sari: (communicates with jetpack) You're right. You need to add a microaerator to the fuel line.
Ratchet: And I suppose the rocket boosters told you that?
Sari: Kinda...
Ratchet: That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever— (actually checks the rocket boosters) Wait! I've got it! We'll add a microaerator to the fuel line!
Sari: Hmm, now why didn't I think of that?

---

Ratchet: Maybe the throttle needs adjusting.
Opimus Prime: RAAAATCHEEEEEEEET! (flies randomly over Detroit and crashes head first)
Sari: Stabilizers?
Ratchet: Stabilizers.

Endgame Part II

Megatron: Ultra Magnus? Here?
(Sees that it's just Optimus Prime.)
Megatron: No, merely a cheap imitation.

---

Ratchet: Arcee! You're online!
Arcee: Yes young bots, we're all online. And I'm here to teach you what it means to be a Cybertronian.

---

Megatron: (to Optimus) You're a persistant little Autobot.
Optimus: My name is OPTIMUS PRIME!

---

Megatron: If I cannot save my clones, at least I'll have the satisfaction of destroying you, Optimus Prime!
Optimus Prime: So you can remember my name.

---

Lugnut: Arr-Stop! Obey Me! You are the servant of the MIGHTY MEGATRON!
Omega Supreme: No. I AM. OMEGA SUPREME! [Ejects Lugnut onto the moon, Meanwhile Lugnut attacks city before turning a Starscream's faces]
Megatron: Lugnut!? Attack! Your glorious leader commands you!
Starscream: [Suddenly when a Starscream speaks as his face appears on the Supreme clones] Greetings, Megatron! As you can see, I decided to give your ultimate weapons a little upgrade; equipping them with a self-destruct mechanism that will DESTROY YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL!! Along with any unfortunate human or Autobot within a hundred-mile radius. Heh! AHAHAHAH! [Fades out in a Episode part]
Megatron: STARSCREAM! That ultimated self-destruct clones any won't last time try to drive it!

—Ejecting a Lugnut as Omega Supremes, Turning the Lugnut Supreme to Starscream Supreme clones does a Package same product.

---

Jazz: We're gonna need more spark to shield the city from that blast.
Prowl: Can't... pull in... any more fragments... Only... one way.
(Prowl starts to glow and rises toward the Allspark Fragments.)
Jazz: Prowl! No! we'll find another way!
(Prowl smiles sadly at Jazz, before being consumed by the AllSpark.)

---

Megatron: What are you waiting for Autobot? Finish me... (The lightning comes into the Magnus hammer, and Optimus swings the hammer, giving the other Autobots a shocked look, when the camera comes back, the hammer crushed Megatron's cannon instead.)

Optimus Prime: That would be the easy way out Megatron, you don't deserve it... (He puts the statis cuffs on Megatron)