The War Nerd

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    Gary, Gary... You Need to Get Laid

    Gary Brecher... loves war. He really does. If he could grab an M4 and a can of gasoline, and bring wrath to all you hypocritical bastards, then he would. He is the War Nerd, and never forget that fact.

    Controversial, politically incorrect and surprisingly insightful, Brecher's column expounds on the nature of warfare today. Unfortunately, he hasn't released any new articles since 2009/early 2010, and the closing of the Exile - not to mention speculation that he has died - means he likely never will.

    Rumors of The Exile's death have been greatly exaggerated.

    So have Gary's.


    The War Nerd provides examples of the following tropes:

    The Shi'ites' martyrs are a lot more recent. Their favorite disaster happened in 680 AD, at the battle of Karbala. Yup, THAT Karbala -- the same city where we've been fighting Shi'ites for the last few months. Karbala means "anguish." That should tell you something about the way Shi'ites see the world, that they named one of their holiest cities after something we'd call "clinical depression." They're not smiley-face optimists. If a Shi'ite coached your kid's soccer team, he'd start every practice with a video of the team's biggest defeat: "Yet again we see Jason missing the goal! Truly we AM/PM Minimart Big Gulps are out of the playoffs forever and a day!"

    • Nuke'Em - Judging by a few of his articles, Gary desperately wants every country with nuclear weapons to flip out and start annihilating everything in sight.
    • Stealth Parody - Some internet commentators have suggested Brecher is actually a parody of right-wing warbloggers.
    • War for Fun and Profit - In one article, Gary says that this is what he'd do if he were as wealthy as Tom Clancy.
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