The Silver Age of Comic Books/Quotes
Apart from the soul-shattering claim of super-kisses, Silver Age Superman's other supposed powers he made up on the spot include:
1. Super-weaving
2. Super-ventriloquism
3. Super-landscaping
4. Super-motherfucking-mathematics
It's at this point where any rational human being stands up and calls horseshit, but in the pages of Action Comics, rationality is nothing more than a cheap hooker Superman picked up outside a Costco, raped, beat, and left for dead by the side of the road.
While wearing clown makeup.
And singing "Goodbye Horses."
Linkara: "Sage, WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE SILVER AGE! WE PUT ALL THAT BEHIND US! WE PUT OUR FINGERS IN OUR EARS, AND WE PRETEND IT NEVER HAPPENED! THAT IS THE AGREEMENT!"
Bennet the Sage: "Oh come on, it's hilarious! There's this scene in like Superman 235 where he gets spanked..."
Linkara: "YES I KNOW! SUPERMAN WAS SPANKED! SUPERBOY WAS SPANKED! BATMAN WAS SPANKED! EVERYBODY WAS SPANKED IN THE SILVER AGE!"
"Great Scott! Why is Jimmy stuffing that volcano crater with a battleship? What on Earth is his huge, twisted turtle-mind up to?"
—Superman, in a moment that perfectly encapsulates the Silver Age: giant monsters, incomprehensible plots, and dickery.