< The Red Green Show

The Red Green Show/Funny


  • Most installments of "The Possum Lodge Word Game", but one in particular stands out. The word is "Wolves", and the contestant is Dalton. Every clue Red comes up with gets the same answer: "My wife's side of the family." Finally, Red catches on:

Red: Your wife's side of the family eating.
Dalton: Wolves!

  • On one episode, Red says that he wants to take up astronomy. Harold turns to the audience and says, "Well, he's always been good at staring off into space."
  • On one episode, the Possum Lodge trades places with a community in Iowa. Turns out all of the Iowans are Expys of the Possum Lodge members. Cue Red meeting expys of Dalton, Winston and Mike... then himself, prompting a little bit of anger.
  • In one "Possum Lodge Word Game", Red repeatedly tries to get Dougie to guess "Canada". After giving up in frustration, he holds up the card and says the word. Dougie says, "Oh, that's still a country?"
  • Some of Red's campfire songs. One example:

Oh, a horse with a horn's called a unicorn
A horse with stripes is called a zebra
A horse with wings is called a pegasus
And a horse with a broken leg is called glue

  • And another:

Oh, the mountain is high and the valley is low
It's the laws of nature that make it so
If the valley is high and the mountain is low
You're either upside down or drunk or both.

  • And a third:

Red: Did you ever have a dream that you were falling?
Well, chances are you're not really falling
Unless you fell asleep skydiving
And that's not really recommended
Harold: If you read the instructions, you'd know that.

  • In one episode, Red and Dalton both wrench their backs and go to a masseuse, who makes them both feel much better. Mike Hamar also goes there just because. At the end of the episode, Red and Dalton both discover that the masseuse is really an undercover cop... a MALE undercover cop in drag, they are both squicked, but Mike seems fine. Instead of doing his usual sign-off, Red tells his wife that he'll go home to bathe in boiling bleach, and adds, "And to the rest of you... sorry you watched!"
  • In the movie, when everyone rises at the courthouse, Edgar folds his arms over himself and starts to say "Quando omni flunkus moritati" before the others cut him off.
  • Another Red-Dalton exchange from the Word Game:

Red: Let's say your wife has a fancy dinner planned—
Dalton: KFC!

    • From the same Word Game (the answer is "HAND"):

Red: Five fingers.
Dalton: Five angry drivers!

  • When Red and Harold return from the local science fair, completely blackened and singed down one side of their bodies.

Red: Whose project exploded?
Harold: You mean the first time?

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