< The Patriot

The Patriot/Funny


  • The scene where the British ship explodes during the garden party.

Woman: Ooh! Fireworks!
Tavington: (gulps a whole glass of champagne)

  • After seizing Lord Cornwallis' personal shipment:

John Billings: I say we drink the wine, eat the dogs, and use the paper for musket wading.
Reverend Oliver: [alarmed] Eat the dogs?
Benjamin Martin: [playing along] Nnn. A dog is a fine meal.
Reverend Oliver: Good Heavens...
[Billings and Martin laugh]

  • One of our captured "officers", sir.
  • How to recruit a militia:

Major Jean Villeneuve: (walking into a very seedy tavern) Are you sure this is the right place to recruit for a militia?
Benjamin: (aside glance to Jean) GOD SAVE KING GEORGE!
(The festivities in the tavern come to a stop. Everyone glares at Benjamin and Jean, bearing down on them with weapons drawn. They hastily exit the tavern as the patrons shout curses at them and stuff is thrown at the door...including a random knife sticking in the door.)
Benjamin: I think we came to the right place!

  • When they're about to blow up Tavington's boat:

Benjamin: You look god in that color.
Villeneuve: It stinks.
Benjamin: I assume it would, it had a dead man in it.

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