The Good Guys/Funny

• "It's an orange gun!"
• The Chinese translator beating up a guy while asking for help from the hitman (who doesn't speak English).
• "Let's get real. The money's gone. I'm a loan shark. I loaned it shark-style."
• Dan doesn't believe in blood cells. Yes, really.
• "I have enough to worry about! I got strip clubs. I got champagne rooms and free buffets in an economy where clients are cutting back and they're sleeping with their wives again! THEIR WIVES!!"
• "The Law is like a woman. Sure she'll slap you but getting mad won't do you any good. It'll just make things worse. A little sweet talk and before you know it, you're covered in baby oil with whipped cream on your nipples".
• "Remember that time Sasha killed that trucker then put on his hat? He was all "Look at me, I am man who is dead!"
• Liz dressed as a hooker turning the heads of everyone at the station. Then she drops her purse and struggles to pick it up.
• The sketch of "Murderin' Jane" dressed in a nurse's uniform.
• Dan recreating the scene of Ruiz being a victim of a peeping Tom.

"You stepped out of the shower, dripping wet. (dabs himself with a towel and flips his imaginary hair) Pat, pat, pat. You saunter into the bedroom, your skin still glistening. The air is cool, your skin feels alive, the goosekin is coming. I have a question though, where was the towel? Was it like headlights or did he get a look at what's under the hood?"

• The scene where Dan Stark, unfamiliar with how a taser works, accidentally tasers a suspect. Then, in trying to explain what happened, takes Jack's taser to demonstrate, and accidentally tases Jack. He yells "Somebody stop me!" as the opening theme starts.
• "I take pride in my willingness to lubricate myself in the cause of justice!"
• Liz and Zoe the hooker's verbal spats.

Zoe: I'm a prostitute, not some off the rack slut.
Liz: Well, excuse me for dressing like a professional and not a "professional".

• Stark whining about US Marshal Marino leaving after they sleep together.

"After a night of spectacular lovemaking, she lit off before I awoke in the morn, leaving me only with this sock. I sniffed all of her out of it." (later we see him singing "I'm All Out of Love")