Talking Poo

Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo! He loves me and I love you!

Sentient feces. Living dung. Intelligent droppings. Basically, poo that's alive. Doesn't necessarily have to speak, as long as it's sentient. Anthropomorphised doodoo is generally for comedic purposes, but there are exceptions.

A subtrope of Toilet Humor and Animate Inanimate Object.

No real life examples, please; but how could there be?

Examples of Talking Poo include:

Anime and Manga

• One of the minor recurring characters in Doctor Slump.
• There's a brief moment with talking poo in Twilight of the Cockroaches.
• Digimon has this in the form of Sukamon. Also Platinum Sukamon and King Sukamon.
• Panty and Stocking With Garterbelt has the girls fighting a Giant shit monster that can only say stuff related to crap and shit as their first enemy.
• Softon, one of the characters in Bobobo-Bo Bobo-Bo, is a man with a large swirl of poop for a head. And he's played as the cool hero guy (even more-so than Bobo-Bo himself)! Then again, this show is known for being weirder than weird...
  • The head is actually a Power Limiter, without it he looks like... A male Beauty, as he's her long lost brother.

Comic Books

• Shithead from Wanted.

Eastern Animation

• If Hong Kong cartoons count as anime, then Excreman from the McMug/McDull series.'
• Doggy Poo. It's a Korean movie and is actually sort of cute. And it's not even Played for Laughs.

Film

• Played for Laughs in Men in Black 2: "You look like crap. [alien laughs] I take that back, he looks like crap."
• The Attack of the Killer Whatever movie MonsTurd.
• The turd people from Flesh Gordon Meets the Cosmic Cheerleaders.
• Dogma has the Golgothan Excremental, a.k.a. the Shit Demon. Supposedly made of the voided bowels of crucifixion victims.

Live Action TV

• Dr. Puri Puri from the Japanese children's show Ugo Ugo Ruga.
• Brazilian kids show Cocoricó (literally "Cock-A-Doodle-Doo"), set in a farm, had one.

Literature

• Deputy Doo-Doo, from The Adventures of Super Diaper Baby.

Mythology

• In the un-Bowdlerized versions of Native American myths about Coyote, he's assisted and advised by his three "sisters", which are actually his own droppings that talk. The cleaned-up versions depict them as talking berries that live in his stomach.

Toys

• Anthropomorphized plush toys Pee and Poo have somehow gained quite a popularity...

Video Games

• One of the player ships in Space Invaders '95: The Attack of Lunar Loonies!
• The opera singing Great Mighty Poo from Conker's Bad Fur Day.

Web Comics

• Crap Golems from Erfworld would probably count. Though being golems, they might only qualify as crap-based automata.
• In Schlock Mercenary, Schlock is often mistaken for this. Readers are advised to remember that he consists of a proteinaceous gel woven together by fullerene nerves; while from a distance this resembles the excretions of a very healthy horse, you, by the same token, are a structural bag of no-longer-potable water.
  • Indeed, he has a cameo as one of the Erfworld Crap Golems.
• Dr. Doo Doo from Axe Cop.

Web Original

• For his review of the Odyssey console The Angry Video Game Nerd needed someone to play against. He cloned the Nerdy Turd from his own excrement to provide an opponent. It doesn't "talk," per se, but it can make rude noises that clearly is supposed to almost, but not quite, sound like a language.
  • Also James Rolfe's creation Shit Pickle who speaks more clearly, though all he can say is his name.
  • There's also the Bullshit Man, as seen in You Know What's Bullshit.
• The Nostalgia Critic briefly becomes an example of this at the end of his The Garbage Pail Kids Movie review. "It's turned me into what the movie always was: a dirty piece of crap!"

Western Animation

• Mr. Hankey in South Park.
  • Also, according to the episode "More Crap": Bono.
• The obscure John Kricfalusi character Nutty the Friendly Dump, best remembered for Kricfalusi's threat to sue the South Park creators for allegedly stealing the idea as inspiration for Mr. Hankey.
  • Also, the "star" of the The Ren and Stimpy Show Adult Party Cartoon episode "Stimpy's Pregnant". More like crying poo, but still portrayed as an animate object.