Talkative Loon/Quotes

I speak in English and think in French.

Someday, I'll take French lessons and find out what the heck I'm thinking.

—The PHB, Dilbert

"Breaking news! And if you broke it, you have to pay for it. And now the weather: partially gaga with a fifty percent chance of schizophrenia!"

—The Creeper, Batman: The Animated Series

Stare deeply into the stinking abyss of my individually wrapped slices. I have powers pinto beans only dream of! Wanna see me pull a tapeworm outta my ass? Huh? You're all zombie thigh fat people, brought into existance by some evil force of forceful evil! Shit, that lipstick's the wrong color for you!

—Happy Noodle Boy, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac

"I don't know what I'm saying! I never know what I'm saying!"

—River Tam, Serenity

"I am Ed! Cheese and macaroni!"

—Ed, Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy's Big Picture Show (to kick off the car chase)

"Oh, life is fun! Try sayin' that ten times fast ten thousand times a minute every day for the rest of your life and it'll screw with your head so bad that all problems will disappear like MAGIC! Okay okay okay, I've gotten past the sadness and as of now I'm evolving to a HIGHER STAAAATE! Right!? Tell me you all think so! Life...is a magnificent beast, and it excites me."

—Graham Spector,Baccano!

"Oklahomans everywhere are letting themselves go...for lower carbohydrates and calories, pickles. Cheese. I challenge every one of us to stop murdering and kicking dogs and girlfriends, ALEX. You're a bad boyfriend. *pushes dog insert* Get out of the shoot. Now, some jets. Dogs. Snake! Those are my pennies! Where are yours?"

—The News (As Seen Through The Eyes Of A PCP Addict)

"Now listen all you swingers, don't you try to tag along
I know monkey see, but monkey's dead, for you it would be wrong
Put a dime in my jukebox, you'll only hear this song

And it won't be fun for long"

—Absolutely Bill's Mood They Might Be Giants

"So, um, yeah, this is 1-1 reconstructed. They've reconstructed World 1. It had a lot of renovations to do. It just wasn't up to code, you know. There was some stuff going on, and they-they found a whole lot of battery acid running around in the attic, and you know how noisy that can get. Neighbors started to complain, they called a telephone number, which doesn't even exist, but they managed to make one just for that one occasion. I-i-i-it was just a big ol' piece of chili pie."

—Raocow, VIP1 - 1-1 Reconstruction & Use of a Switch

The UK goverment has forced the Merdocks to postpone the BSKYB bid as they are finding the money to give them 100% of BSKYB in return for all MPs to fiddle and squander there're MPs expensives with a injuction for news about the matter meaning that it can not be published in The Sun On Sunday or any other newspaper or form of media what-so-ever meaning MPs are can steal of the british people as well as the rest of the world an be immune to any charges ever.

—A spambot

There are times when political figures or political adjacent figures make statements and you wonder where they got the idea. And there are times when you listen to a political figure, and you wonder if they’ve been smoking the good stuff and not sharing. […]
But there’s other times when a political figure […] says something so utterly bizarre that you have to physically prevent yourself from going to YouTube to start looking at all the videos that claim that everyone in public life is a disguised lizard being.

— Has Michelle Obama Ever Met A Human Woman? by Sarah Hoyt

"Don't push me! I'll hurt you! I hate you! I'll ma-moo dogface to the banana patch! One million gallons! We could get that! Him? Vice-moron? Shout past my paranoia. Ambulance. Thunder rolls. McDonalds. *klik*"

—Tik-Tok's rant from Oz Squad #1, "The Internal Clockwork Morality Spring", by Steve Ahlquist