Tales (series)/Funny

Tales of Phantasia

• At one point, you're on a ship. The group meets up with a random travelling swordswoman, who then proceeds to suggest everyone gets drunk together. This leads to her and your group's summoner- Klarth- drunk and talking about politics and how there's a spy in the area you're headed to. While this is going on, Arche, who is a witch and completely lusting for the main character, Cless, has passed out from drinking. She interrupts the swordswoman and Klarth's talks with random yelling-in-sleep moments about a rather explicit dream. Then, the morning after that, a monster is on the ship. The healer is seasick, and Klarth and Arche are both hungover, leaving Cless to fight alone.
  • There's also the bit- also on a boat- where Klarth asks Cless which of the girls he'd rather have. Cless is embarassed, and Klarth comments this:

"Yeah, Mint has that sort of quiet elegance, but I bet Arche f***s like a tiger."

• • It should be noted this was DeJap's Fan Translation, which added a large amount of adult humor for, apparently, the lulz. Which, admittedly, were had.
  • How about every time Dhaos gets deafeted by Indignation. Seriously am I the only one who laughs every time he is suprised by that skill.

Tales of Destiny

• That skit that features every single party member switching bodies.
• Bochaa-----nn
• Dymlos telling Stahn that he was a chosen hero of destiny when they first met; which lasted until Atwight blew the lid on Dymlos's scheme.

Tales of Eternia

• In a hilarious subversion of Only Smart People May Pass, the party is trying to get into Volt's Temple, but the door is closed, and a sign nearby says that they must first solve a riddle before it will open. The party laments that the team's Smart Guy was left behind at this point...until Max just rams the door open on his own (and shortly thereafter gets electricuted).
• Speaking of Volt's Temple, the boss battle with Volt can be unexpectedly hilarious. In all other games, Volt is completely silent, but for Eternia, Volt speaks with a robotic voice. The fight immediately starts off with a robo-voice "INDIGNATION".
• Honestly, the whole game is filled with awesome humor. There's the moment where you find the pot that contains "Colin's fart" at the Mine of Gnome.

Tales of Symphonia

• When Lloyd's group first meet Presea, they see her dragging some sacred wood to the church. Lloyd and Genis both go over and offer to take it for her... and find it is too heavy for both of them to carry. Presea then just takes the wood back and continues dragging it seemingly effortlessly. Lloyd's only comment: "I've lost all confidence as a man."
  • It's followed up later when Colette agrees to help Zelos carry Regal... and then proceeds to lift the guy with one hand. To quote Raine: "Men are so useless these days."
• Pretty much any time Lloyd says "Eewww". (Which he does fairly often.) Also, early in the game: "They've ruined my handsome face!"
• The game also has its share of hilarious after-battle speeches: one of the best is as follows.

Lloyd: Victory
Colette: Belongs to
Sheena: The Most
Zelos: Sexy! Dead sexy!

• • This one is almost as funny: You get it if Lloyd is poisoned after a battle, but Colette is not:

Lloyd: {weakly} Colette... need cure for... poison...
Colette: {cheerfully} I'm fine! I'm not poisoned!
Lloyd: {weakly} No... I mean... me...

• • • You can get that one even if Collete is poisoned too, she earns the title 'Oblivious' if you do so
  • From the second game:

Regal: Nice skills.
Emil: Nice moves.
Marta: Hey, what about me!?
Regal: Nice weapon.
Marta: That doesn't have anything to do with me!

• • This after battle quote is especially funny:

Marta: There is no enemy before love!
Emil: So you lose if there's no love?
Marta: Yes, so tell me that you love me!
Emil: ...we can lose next time.
Marta: Emil!

• Three words: "Um...uh...die!"
• Most of the Z-Button skits are pretty hilarious as well. Most noteworthy are Darkness Beam (wherein Lloyd burns Zelos but good), Dirk's Method of Memorization (wherein Colette and Lloyd arrive at hilarious conclusions), and particularly For Lazy People (wherein Lloyd breaks the fourth wall).
  • The skits in the second game are just as funny:

Tenabrae: You have now befriended twenty-five monsters.

Emil: It's sorta sad.

Marta: What's wrong? Aren't you happy? Twenty-five monsters isn't bad!

Emil: Yeah, but this means I have more monster friends than Human ones.

Tenabrae: That is rather...

Marta: Yeah okay, that's sad.

• At one point, the game tells you, "Kratos obtained the title of Traitor."
• This skit from Dawn of the New World is one of the funniest (except, for some, for Marta being the Clingy Jealous Girl she is for the whole game).
• Not to mention the whole "nazdrovie" vs. "light-frog" naming debate...which Tenebrae is constantly on the wrong side of.
  • Hell, half to three quarters of Tenebrae's dialogue is quite hilarious, especially in the Z-skits.
• Regal in general in the sequel.
  • When he gets out of prison (again), he, being the strong man he is, snaps the handcuffs apart. He then turns said action into an ad for the company he is president of, explaining that if they had bought Lezareno Company handcuffs, he wouldn't have been able to do that.
  • When Regal reveals that he's getting used to wearing handcuffs:

Sheena: It's the fact that you're used to it that worries me.

• • When he discovers what one of his products, Eau Du Seduction, smells like (a villain is wearing it):

I'll send an order to the factory to halt production immediately.

• Remember Presea's and Regal's easily-missed "Paw Pad" skits and titles in the original? It Got Worse. (Meeting Tenebrae is only the beginning.)
• The Spot the Imposter moment in the sequel, when Emil finally discovers the truth about what's going on with the supposed "Lloyd is being a crazy psycho and destroying towns" thing. In a pretty epic scene with two Lloyds duelling each other, one of them is spouting all these cliched lines about justice and making the right choice, while the other one is comparatively much calmer and level-headed. The imposter is, of course, the former. But even if you never played the original, you'd be able to tell which one is the imposter for the simple fact that he's bouncing on the balls of his feet wearing a real-life ":D" expression.
• Decus's introduction. Praying to the goddess for Alice to fall in love with him, then accusing Emil of having a crush on him, and finally forcing Eau de Seduction on Emil. Emil then asks "What was that guy?" No, not who; what.
• The "curse" that would befall anyone who opened the iron maiden before it granted its wish was both this and Crowning Moment of Awesome. And of course, who would question something like that coming from the Emotionless Girl? Oh, and of course, even if the Vanguard hadn't fallen for it, it was still rigged up so that it would appear empty if opened by someone who didn't know the trick. Presea pretty much made that up just for the hell of it. Repeat: the Emotionless Girl did something just for the lulz--and didn't break her stoic nature once, even after the guys she was pranking had left.
  • She does plenty for the lulz, even in the first game, even when she's still actually emotionless. Most of the time, this involves snarking at people in her robot voice. For example, after Zelos tries to use a metaphor:

Presea: Incorrect usage detected. Correction necessary.
Zelos: (shamed) Aw, Presea!

• Back in the first game, if you were controlling someone other than Lloyd and had Lloyd in the party at the start of the boss fight with Magnius, you could get a very interesting bit of 'dialogue'. Your party members in battle will do things like shouting something when an enemy starts to cast a spell, to help you stay aware of the battlefield. Lloyd's quote for this is "Not a chance!". So when Magnius delivers his Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner and then immediately starts casting:

Magnius: You really think you're gonna live through this?! *starts casting*
Lloyd: Not a chance!

• A skit in Tales of Symphonia has everyone in your party taking a quiz, basically so the genius Genis can show off his smarts. Lloyd gets 25 points, then begins acting proud. Colette remarks that it's the best grade he's ever gotten on a test. It then goes on to say that Colette got over two-hundred. Turns out the test was out of 400 points, not 100!
• In the sequal the first words out of zelos' mouth when he meets sheena is 'hey mrs. jubilees' this troper cracked up!

Tales of Legendia

• Pick a moment involving Grune before her awakening, any moment. Especially if Norma is involved. For the best, some nominations include:

Norma: Okay, let's find out what color underwear G-Girl is wearing today!
Grune: *checks* ...Oh. It looks like I forgot to put them on today...
Norma: ...*SWEATDROP*

• The Jerkass Knight from the mainland is REALLY getting on our heroes nerves. You expect a big fight scene, but then a certain music starts playing...

Senel: *Gasp*
Norma: Oh no!

Curtis: Hey noble knight causin' trouble, don't you know the rules of this town?

Quppo: You're not supposed to fight!

Pippo: No acts of violence! <3

Curtis: Exactly boys, just what they said. You gotta obey the rules at all times, you dig?

Poppo: What if you break them?

Curtis: No-ho-hoh!

Grune: What if you disobey?

Curtis: Ohhh!

Quppo, Pippo, Poppo: What'll happen? What'll happen?! What'll happen?!? *Ors?!?!*

Curtis: Those who break the rules will get to feel, the iron hammer of justice and hear its thunderous peal.

Norma: Sounds good! You're in for it now!

Curtis: If there's a crime, we'll stop it; if there's a brawl, we'll squash it; Oh, yeah! That's...our...life!

Quppo, Pippo, Poppo: *Ors!* *Ors ors!*

Knight: Aren't you...

Curtis: Feel the iron hammer! *WHACK*

• How about the scene with Poppo and the Great Gaet?

Tales of the Abyss

See Tales of the Abyss.

Tales of Vesperia

See Tales of Vesperia.

Tales of Graces

• During a post-battle moment in the Updated Rerelease, it's commented upon how Sophie loves to eat kanitama (basically an omelette or cake made with crab and eggs). When Pascal suggests that Richard, being the prince, eats "royal kanitama" every day, Sophie effectively turns into a zombie, chanting with a Creepy Monotone for Richard to give her the "royal kanitama" which naturally freaks him out and causes him to back off with her in pursuit. Pascal just sits back with a contented smirk on her face.
• "I am.....MASQUE DE BARONIA." ...And basically anything related to that phrase. Look it up.
• There is a downloadable skit in which Sophie mentions that she recently learned all about Christmas from Malik, and then proceeds to tell that gang about Santa Claus.... who she has been led to believe is a man who carries an axe and wanders through the night on Christmas Eve, chopping down the chimney's of houses. Cue a cut-in of Malik dressed as Santa, beard, sack, and all, holding an axe and having the expression of some sadistic murderer. Note that Malik regularly tells outlandish tales to the naive Sophie and this seems like his regular behavior, so the skit is made even funnier when Malik claims that he heard the story from Richard.
• As mentioned above, Malik has a long history of telling Sophie absolutely ridiculous things with a totally straight face. As an example, during a trip through the Stratan desert, Pascal becomes so over heated that she can only mumble and Cheria is forced to interpret for her. Once they reach a cooler area, Pascal is suddenly back to her normal vibrant self. Malik's theory? Pascal is in fact a rare breed of fish. Sophie is intrigued, and Malik decides they will have to search Pascal for gills.

Viva! Tales Of! (and other Tales Series bonus videos)

• The Tales (series) skits contains a lot of funny things. From Tales of Fandom Gaiden:
  • "DAMN IT, YOU'RE NOT HEROES!! JUST A BUNCH OF MAJINKEN/DEMON FANG USERS!!!" - Kyle
  • Just when Judas managed to calm things down among the bickering heroes, Zelos sparks a new firestorm by asking them which female protagonist is the best. Harold asks Judas to stop them again, only to find that he too is arguing on behalf of his beloved Marian.
• In the Apple Gummi, Suzu complained about her lack of popularity, and then Mint tried to comfort her by saying 'popularity doesn't matter'. Cue Arche telling her that she ranked higher than Mint despite her being the heroine. Cue Mint getting petrified out of shock. Zelos gets ecstatic that he gets to be number 3. Cue to Zelos saying that to be popular, they don't have to be heroes, which caused Cless getting petrified out of shock. Jade dismisses the poll as unreliable because Tales of the Abyss was not represented yet, but Arche points out that Luke made 10th, which causes Jade to get petrified out of shock.
  • This is followed by a battle between Jade and Cless to prove which game's battle system is superior. Jade runs circles around Cless (literally) thanks to the free-run system from Tales of the Abyss.
  • At the start of Apple Gummi, Zelos introduces himself as Tales of Symphonias main character. Jade tells him not to lie about that, and that he has to be accurate. So Zelos concedes and reintroduces himself as a supporting member of the cast... and then Jade calls himself Tales of the Abysss "Lead character from the shadows". If that wasn't enough, one of the scene transitions uses Jade's face, and has "Main Character" plastered all over it.
    • Actually, it's "Main Offender".
• In Lemon Gummi, there's a lot of them: Reid getting sacked by Jade for almost mentioning Monster Hunter; Senel's mock battle with Zelos; Veigue repeating his fist fight with Tytree towards Reid; Jade suggesting a 'Raise-A-Luke' game; and finally... the announcement that Veigue is not in Radiant Mythology 1, causing him to cry "CLAAAAAIIIIIIRRREEEE!!!"
  • How about Lloyd suggesting a Tales Of Dating Sim, then mentioning that Collete would be impossible to get because she's with him. Then Zelos mentions that by that logic, NOBODY would be available, 'cause all the main heroines are with a hero already. Then Lloyd suggests Sheena, and Zelos starts running his mouth about her, saying that she's OK, but how he'd rather have a heroine, etc. All the while Sheena's portrait is gradually running in from the background. She gets closer and closer, all the heroes except the oblivious Zelos run away. He turns around, cut to black, and Zelos screams.
  • This exchange between Zelos and Jade when introducing Luke

Luke: (complaining about everything)
Zelos: (to Jade) Hey, what's up with this main character?
Jade: I'm sorry, I requested 'after hair cut mode,' but... there was a mistake, so we ended up with 'long hair mode' instead.

Luke: Hey! I'm complaining here!

• Peach Gummi... anything with Barbatos, really.

Jade: Then, if Reala was a 200-kilogram woman, you'd still have said... *dresses up as Kyle and speaks with nasal voice* "For your sake, I shall be your hero!" *back to normal* to her?
Kyle: Y... Yes I would!
Jade: Then, then, if someone like this appeared from the lens...
Barbatos (dressed with a ribbon and lipstick): Hahahahaha... I'm a sacred beast. I came to this world to search for a hero... Yo! That brat over there! Are you the hero I'm searching for?
Kyle: ... Please leave.

• Golden Gummi has Karol Capel fearing that he's trapped in a parody of Saw. The role of Jigsaw is played by Tokunaga.
• PEEEACH PIEEEEE!!!!!
• On celebration of Tales of Hearts, there were some funny drama CD including casting Shing, Kohak, Luke and Asch as a preschool kids (with Guy as the teacher). Luke bullying Shing might go over the line, but then what follows was Asch bullying Luke to tears by constantly calling him replica in Motor Mouth ("Replicareplicareplicareplicareplicareplicarepliiiiica!"). And after Kohak ends up crying, Guy enters and tried to get Asch apologize... only for Asch to think Guy is just siding with Luke... and cries. To quote a youtube user... "ASCH IN A CRYING VOICE. MY LIFE IS COMPLETE."
  • Same drama also includes Guy trying to start a musical, until Barbatos kicks him off the main spotlight and led the musical. Guy eventually got a bit fatigued and tried to eat a Gumi... cue "NO ITEMS EVERRRR!!!". To add bits on the fun, when Guy tried eating, Luke is warning him, Emil and Ruca are already sweatdropping in fear, while Shing and Kohak (that time being the newest of the Tales hero/heroine) remain blissful in question mark until that one attack land in.