Speed (1994 film)/Funny

• After the elevator falls near the begining of the film. The young executive demonstrates how unhelpful he can be.

Young Exec: Jesus. Bob, what button did you push?

• Don't you just love the pop quiz about hostages?

Harry: All right, pop quiz. Airport, gunman with one hostage. He's using her for cover; he's almost to a plane. You're a hundred feet away... Jack?
Jack: Shoot the hostage.
Harry: What.
Jack: Shoot the Hostage. Take her out of the equation. Go for the good wound and he can't make it to the plane with her - clear shot.
Harry: You're deeply nuts.

• • OTOH, this is how he comes up with the crazy idea of using a safety cable to secure the elevator while they evacuate it. Crazy Enough to Work.
• Jack and Harry have a "lovely" discussion about what they are going to do when they get home after the party.

Harry:[drunk]Well, I'm gonna go home, have some sex.
Jack: Harry, you're gonna go home and puke.
Harry: Well that'll be fun too.

• Jack spots the explosive device, it's huge of course. He gets really pissed about it and swears. Meanwhile the tourist relaying his observations by cellphone tries to be more "polite".

Jack: Fuck me!
Tourist: ...Oh, darn.

• Maurice, poor poor Marurice.

Jack: STOP! L.A.P.D! Get out of the car!
Maurice: Hey man, this is MY car, I OWN this car, it's NOT stolen.
Jack: It is now. Move over.

• Personally, I love Ortiz, better known as "Gigantor".
• Oh darn.
  • Also, Howard attempting to calm / comfort Annie on the train -- who has a bomb strapped to her, has witnessed someone get shot to death right in front of her and is consequently hysterical with fear and crying uncontrollably -- with a third rate understanding of feminism: "Hey, buckaroo! It's not because you're a woman."
  • The performance of the Jaguar guy.
  • Watching the cops being completely shit-faced after the awards ceremony, especially Harry.

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