Sonic for Hire/Funny

Season 1:

• Sonic needs rent money, so Tails got him a job, as a Paperboy.
  • Sonic: This is bullshit!
  • Sonic has enough and steals a TV.

• Sonic: (While getting punched repeatedly by Mike Tyson every time he says a word.) WHY! ISN'T! ANYBODY! STOPPING THIS!!!???

• Eggman: Just me here. Hanging out. In my undies.
  • Eggman ditching Sonic after the former unclogs his toilet.

Eggman: Okay time to pay up. Just let me get 'em out of my uuh... FUCK YOU STINKBALL! *Runs away laughing*

• • "I'm a podiatrist".

• Knuckles owns a burger joint.
  • "Fryin' and buyin'!"
  • Sonic getting revenge on Eggman by jizzing in his burgers.

• Sonic becomes an escort, to Mother Brain.

Sonic: Tails said you were the brainy type, but I was expecting more of the sexy librarian than the... giant pulsating brain monster.

• • Sonic and Mother Brain had a daughter, Soniqua, within hours of having sex.

Mother Brain: What do you expect? I'm a mutant brain monster, I pop out kids like a goddamn gumball machine.
Soniqua: Daddy? *Vomits on Sonic*
Sonic: Fuck.

Season 2:

• Sonic playing Ice Hockey.
  • and talking to one of the players, who doesn't speak American good.

Hockey Player: I am enjoying a many blue jeans.
Sonic: I... don't know how to respond to that.
Hockey Player: I would like very much to having the sex with American prostitute.
Sonic: I actually think I can help you with that one.

• • "GET A TASTE OF THE ZAMBONI PONY!"

• Sonic not really caring about Birdo's gender after face-sexing it.

Sonic: Whatever, I'm a busy guy! I can't be constantly checking for penises all the time! So what's my next job?
Mario: Alright, your next job is--wh-wait a minute--who's too busy to check for a penis?
Sonic *points to himself*: This guy! I got places to go, and penises not to check!

Season 3:

• In the Link episode, Link guides Sonic and his crew to the princess. However, they find a Margarita Bar instead ...
  • Link: MARGARITAS!!!
  • Everyone except for Tails: MARGARITAS! MARGARITAS! MARGARITAS! MARGARITAS! MARGARITAS! MARGARITAS! MARGARITAS!
  • Tails: I hate you! I fucking hate all of you!

• "Awww TITS!"

• The unexpected tank appearance in Tecmo Bowl.

• "When you're in Las Vegas and eat chicken Caesar salad, and find out that it gives you the shits, but you're stuck walking the strip and almost crapped behind some bushes, then you run into a casino and bust down the stall door, and SHIT ALL OVER THE PLAAAAAACE!"
  • Better yet, it was the number one answer, word for word.

• Robotnik's reason for never leaving South America.

Robotnik: THERE'S COKE ON TITS!!!

• "Soniqua loves her new dog so much, that she started training it to battle these things called... Pocket Monsters? Is that right? That sounds like a dick joke waiting to happen."