Song of the South/WMG

Uncle Remus is another incarnation of Suzumiya Haruhi.

Despite being present in his Br'er Rabbit stories, he is visibly shocked at the end of the film to discover that Br'er rabbit is Real After All. Why? He brought him to life through his stories without realizing it. And why is the sharecropping system so idealistic in his world? Because he willed it to be so.

• • This one actually makes a surprising amount of sense.

Remus is drugged out of his gourd on experimental narcotics.

He's part of an early trial for The Man's plan to keep the black community down with drugs initiated shortly after the collapse of slavery. Despite the apparent success of his attitude adjustment, removing his resentment toward his former masters, this early attempt was still deemed a failure due to unproductive persistent hallucinations.

The Song Of The South is inside a smaller vault within the Disney Vault

Self-explanatory.

• We put a vault in your vault, so you can store what you store.
• Alternately it's in the same vault as Walt Disney's cryogenically frozen brain.
  • You're both wrong. Song of the South and Disney's cryogenically frozen brain are both stored at the top of the Matterhorn, next to the basketball hoop.

Song of the South has been attacked by an Eldritch Abomination of some sort.

Now anyone who watches it in full uninterrupted runs risk of being possessed and given horrible demonic powers. Ergo Disney's refusal to rerelease it. They don't mind crappy torrents, individual clips, or youtube videos because there's generally enough of an interruption for the corruption not to work.

• What about overseas videotape and laserdisc releases? Unless this means the Abomination got into the film after those releases were made. Also, this must not affect PAL masters (only NTSC) since the BBC hasn't had problems with it.