Slices, Dices, and Makes Julienne Fries

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    Here's a Stock Phrase born in the world of infomercials.

    This trope is a must for the conscientious writer looking for a snappy, poppy way to jazz up the multiple talents of the object of his description.

    You can put it at the end of a full list of other talents ("it's murderous, relentless, merciless, and makes julienne fries!") or when describing all other generic slicers and dicers (swords, battle axes, Japanese chefs, etc.) add "... and makes julienne fries" in a cute little wink.

    A must for your Pop Culture Referencing Genies!

    But wait, there's more! Choose this stock phrase now and we'll throw in "handles stubborn stains", "and still cut a tomato" for free!

    The Trope Namer for this was commercials for the Veg-O-Matic, one of the first products Ron Popeil sold, which really could do all of the things mentioned in the title. For those of you who don't remember it, the Veg-O-Matic was basically a French-fry cutter, fitted with a second blade that could be turned 90 degrees to cut slices.

    Examples of Slices, Dices, and Makes Julienne Fries include:

    Advertising

    Animated Films

    • The merchant/FramingDevice guy in Aladdin tried to sell such a device to the viewer: A combination hookah and coffee maker.

    Merchant: Will not break! [bangs on table] Will not... [breaks] It broke.

    Live Action Films

    • In Explorers, the three kids meet aliens who pick up English from watching television. One did a better job than the other so the latter communicates by speaking out TV catch phrases and clips from old black-and-white TV recordings, including this one.
    • In the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, Michelangelo starts doing the "it slices, it dices" routine as Leonardo tosses a pizza in the air and slices it with his katanas — until a slice falls on Splinter's head.

    Literature

    • In Animorphs, the heroes have to cover for a broken-down Chee android named Erek(Chee are normally disguised with a hologram, but due to Yeerk tampering with the Pemalite ship that was the source of their technology, their holograms were failing) by pretending he's some kind of personal multifunction tool. Cassie gives a (nervous) sales pitch in front of a store audience.

    "It slices. It dices. It can make Julie Ann's fries."
    "You mean julienne fries?" a woman asked skeptically.
    "Anyone's fries," Cassie said, her voice tinged with desperation.

    Live Action TV

    Willow: Did you find out anything about the scythe?
    Buffy: It slices, dices and makes julienne preacher.

    Glenn Robbins: It slices, it dices. But wait, there's more. It also works as a... Ken?
    Frank Woodley: Killing thing.

    Hercules: Let me guess: It slices and dices, and if you act now, you get a free butt-kicking. But wait, there's more!

    Music

    • The "Weird Al" Yankovic song "Mr. Popeil" references all of the classic infomercial lines, and this is no exception.
    • Logan Whitehurst and "The Robot Cat."

    It slices! It dices! It catches the mices!
    It's got a stock ticker with the Wall Street prices!

    Video Games

    Announcer:He slices, he dices and carves up a meandish, please welcome Chainblade.

    • In the N Fuax Mercial of Crash Bandicoot Mind Over Mutant, this is one of the features of the NV.

    Cortex: Talk to your disgusting friends! Watch pay-per-view! And Julien Fries! (Jams a potato in his ear, fries come out other ear. Takes a bite, and spits.) Oh, waxy!

    • Oracle of Tao has a sword technique with this sort of thing (in the skill description text):

    "Slices and dices! Only $14.99!"

    Web Original

    SF Debris: What versatile radiation: it screws up all the computers, the transporters, and human brains. It slices, it dices, it cuts through a tin can and still slices through a tomato!

    • Explicitly referenced in Fenspace with the character Julian Friez -- all the many instances of him. The original Julian was the subject/victim of a bizarre replication machine created by "The Professor", which has three simple controls -- buttons marked "Slice", "Dice" and "Make Julian Friez". Pushing the third and providing the machine with about 200 pounds of biomass to work from produces a clone of Mr. Friez.

    Western Animation

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