SeaQuest DSV/Funny

• The reveal in "Treasures of the Tonga Trench", in which the precious glowing "gemstones" the crew discovered turn out to be the feces of a giant bioluminescent sea creature. So funny that its practically the only thing I remember from the show.
• Pretty much any of Krieg's wacky schemes, for that matter.
• This gem from the pilot:

Krieg: What the... these are all family films! I told you to get something interesting! Look... this is a submarine. Can you say that?
Crewman: Submarine?
Krieg: Good! This is not a monastery! [sigh] Forget it, I'll pull something from my personal library.

• On launching a "magma buoy" into a volcanic vent: "Oh, I think I'll pass. I doubt Raleigh or his ceramic suppository require my presence."