Scrooged/Funny

• When Frank's confronted by his zombie boss he comes up with an elaborate rationalization.

Frank Cross: "You are a hallucination... brought on by Russian vodka... poisoned by Chernobyl!"

• • Lew talking about his supposed status.

Lew: I was a captain of industry; feared by men, adored by women.
Frank: Adored?! Come on, let's be honest, Lew. You paid for the women!

• The entire restaurant scene.
  • "Ah-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh...!"
  • After Frank douses the waiter he thought was on fire: "I'm sorry. For a minute, I thought you were Richard Pryor."
• "It's a TOASTER!"
  • "IT'S A BONE!!!"
• "I'm only four!"
• "The bitch hit me with a toaster!"
• Elliot Loudermilk's phone conversation with Rhinelander during his and Frank's hijacking of the Scrooge special:

Rhinlander: I want to talk to the IDIOT who put that MORON on the air!!
Elliot: Oh, uh, Bryce Cummings is the idiot sir, but uh... (turns to face tied and gagged Bryce Cummings) he can't talk to you right now because he's sorta tied up. Uh-huh. Oh, in fact, he just said that you were a flatulating butthead?
Rhinelander: A Butthead?!
Elliot: He said he never felt that way about a man before, but he really likes you in a certain way...

• • Just before that, when Frank and Elliot reconcile near the end of the film.

Frank: Hey. Are you glad to see me, or is this a shotgun in your pocket? (toss gun away; it fires)
Frank: All right, you've heard it. How's this for a deal? I hire you back, pay you twice your original salary, and offer you a vice president position. Would you like my office?
Elliot: No, I don't like your office.
Frank: That's SO YOU!