Rugby Is Slaughter/Quotes

On a crisp fall day in 1823 William Webb Ellis picked up a football in his hands and ran with it. To this day, backs throughout the world hail this moment as the birth of rugby. Forwards, however, know that the game was not really invented until 1.5 seconds later, when Roland Dimrumple drove a squealing Mr. Ellis' face into the turf, kicked him in the solar plexus and told him to "keep his sodding hands off the ball."

—Anonymous^[1]

"We must bring this lovely game back to Gaul!"

—Obelix, Asterix in Britain

"Football is a game for gentlemen, played by ruffians, and Ruby is a game for ruffians, played by gentlemen."

—Oscar Wilde

1. ↑ For the record, as noted by QI, the story is false, rugby being a much older game.