Private Eye Monologue/Quotes

My name is Detective Jimjam McLanternjaw. Was on route to a sunburn when she showed up. Kinda dame leads to a funeral… Some good bad trouble. Tells me a dingo ate her baby. This daddy-o ain’t in the dingo baby-eatin’ business. But, I am in the sexy-lady-touching-my-body business. Whenever a sexy lady wants to make that the business I am in. The right chump takes the wrong job. Few leads went south, dropped me down that rabbit hole. Rabbit had teeth. Biting teeth. Thumping legs. Lazy eye fry cook at the ho-jos was lying. Swore he didn’t know – but that eye was too lazy to be tellin’ the truth. So lazy. Elbow grease, and an elbow to lazy eye, the mook gave up the plot.“Head to the moon and you’ll find the cheese,”

--I give a prime example of the Private Eye Monologue in my own inimitable style, Uncanny X-Force #3