< Pokecapn

Pokecapn/Funny

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Sonic Unleashed

*game makes a "ding-dong" sound*
Kung-Fu Jesus: Someone's at the door! Medibot, get my door.
Medibot: Yes'm.

*door opening sound; Kaz enters the room*

Kung-Fu Jesus: OH WAIT, THERE WAS ACTUALLY SOMEONE AT THE DOOR?!?!

    • KFJ does not have a doorbell. Them trying to explain what just happened is also hilarious. "EFF the fourth wall, let's break the fifth and sixth while we're at it!"
  • There's also this.

"Be careful not to fall, huh?"

  • Sonic slowly edges towards the balancing beam and immediately sinks into the water like a rock.*

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH"

  • Everyone present starts laughing*

(Sonic runs into a pillar, coming to a halt)
medibot: Hey, |remember when pillars like those would kill you instantly?

pokecapn: ...No. I remember no such thing.

Kung-Fu Jesus: In fact, I've willfully forgotten such a thing.

Kung-Fu Jesus: Definitely go down there.
medibot: There's nothing down there.
pokecapn: No, we've been there.
Kung-Fu Jesus: No, go down there.
pokecapn: No.
Kung-Fu Jesus: Yes.
pokecapn: No.
medibot: No, don't do it.
pokecapn: (jumps down there)
Kung-Fu Jesus: Yes, I tricked you. (Evil Laugh)

    • Even earlier in the video there's Medibot's reaction to Kung-Fu Jesus' claim that the people in Shamar eat sand:

medibot: Wait, WHAAAAAAAAAAA?! Kung-Fu Jesus, you can't say that on the internet!

Kung-Fu Jesus: It's okay, I eat sand too.

IlluminatusVespucci: I don't think it's possible for these levels to not go fast.
pokecapn: Actually, that is very not true, because I can do this.

Sonic and The Black Knight

medibot: Mother of shit!

  • Just before the final boss battle in Black Knight:

Gawain: You fool! This no longer has anything to do with chivalry!
Kung-Fu Jesus: I decide when chivalry applies, and now is not the time!
Sonic: It was never about chivalry for me...
Kung-Fu Jesus: It was all about being summoned here for some reason, and now you're letting me the fuck back, or I swear I will take this broken sword, and shove it so far up your ass--
pokecapn: SHUT UP.

  • And then there's medibot going off on a tangent about Octorok Krispy Kremes... really, there's a crowning moment of funny just about every time medibot opens his mouth.

Sonic Colors

medibot: Remind me why we don't like Eggman when he can build self-repairing cakes?

Announcer: Cube! Laser!
[A specific array of cubes come crashing down, followed by a laser reflecting off of them]
IlluminatusVespucci: ...Did he just say las--
pokecapn: OAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

IlluminatusVespucci: Yeah, he said "laser".

    • From the same part: "2Pac lives!", "FEAST ON HIS BONES!", "Kiss him!".
  • Before the Sweet Mountain boss:

Sonic: Experience has taught me to investigate anything that glows.
MyNameIsKaz: Sonic spends many hours of the day staring at the sun.

Sonic the Hedgehog 4

  • During the game's special stages, KFJ tries to figure out what all the developers were smoking to make the kaleidoscope-style backgrounds, based on their color (i.e. red pepper flakes, salt, oregano...), culminating with this discussion:

Kung-Fu Jesus: The color lavender?
pokecapn: Lavender is a plant.
Kung-Fu Jesus: (laughs) ...you’re joking, right?

Mario Party

  • Medibot (playing as Luigi): "I have extraordinarily long legs, I was bitten by a radioactive leg."

Kung-Fu Jesus: You're not allowed to say that!

    • Made even funnier in Mario Party 3 when Luigi metamorphoses into an even leggier version of himself. Waluigi.
  • Their first house rule of choice is "Wario Party", in which no one gets to see the instructions before each mini-game. This can lead to hilarity. For an excellent example of why, observe this game of Hide and Go BOOM! from Mario Party 4.
  • Game: "Bowser Ran!" Medibot: "That's right, you better run!"
  • Kaz is the prettiest magical princess.
    • You mean MASTER OF DEVILS.
  • At one point in Mario Party 2, everyone starts vocalizing their characters' taunts instead of simply using them. Except KFJ, who despite a game effort simply cannot do the Yoshi "zip-zip" with his mouth. It becomes funnier when Yoshi switches to his Yoshi's Story voice in later installments... and Kaz can do the voice better than KFJ ever could.
  • Mario Party 3 has a match of Slap Down that medibot wins handily.
  • This moment at the start of MP 4:

Kung-Fu Jesus: If you complain about our handicaps... I'll find you.
medibot: He's not kidding. I'm not the first medibot.

  • Kung-Fu Jesus (as Yoshi) builds up a star lead in 4 before being forced to play a pachinko Chance Time and giving away several stars to pokecapn. While the hosts wave at him happily.

Kung-Fu Jesus: "Thanks for getting owned, Luigi!"
medibot: They didn't even get your name right.

pokecapn: I'm drawing a voodoo doll of you, and scribbling all over it.

    • He tries it again at the beginning of Mario Party 6. "Go, Yoshi!"
  • At the end of turn 10 in Mario Party 6, they play the dreaded Fruit Talktail, which medibot rightly fears when it's selected. One word:

Kaz: Grapes.

pokecapn: What is the sound of 3000 mice clicking "unsubscribe"?

  • "Skating-board is for cool kids only!" is made especially funny due to it being a Call Back from long ago.
  • "The bombs touched."
  • "WELCOME TO HELL." "Oh I've been there. It's sunny. :) You wouldn't think so being-" "THE SUN...THE SUN is because we recently re-adjusted the blinds. On the windows TO HELL!"
  • In Mario Party 8, everyone's reactions to the candy powerups. And Medibot finally starts saying "Delicious."
  • The running joke of Medibot being good at minigames involving plants because he is a botanist.
  • Mario Party 5, turn 31. They play Submarathon, and it takes them a full minute to figure out how to move.
  • In Mario Party 5, medibot, as Waluigi, has been holding a Bone capsule at some point. KFJ, as Yoshi, lands on a Chain Chomp space and chooses Waluigi as the target, not knowing what the bone would do to Chain Chomps. The result is the Chain Chomp gets lured away from Waluigi by the bone, causing pokecapn to cry out in Angrish, all while berating KFJ for being so stupid. The kicker? pokecapn already told the group what the bone would do, many times, before it happened.
    • Of course, KFJ was falling-down drunk at the time. When pokecapn first explained what the Bone did KFJ even said it didn't make any sense to him.
  • Woodpecker butthole.
  • Mario Party 5, turns 41-45: Kaz dueling medibot for 1 coin.
  • Mario Party 4, during the Avalanche! minigame. Pokecapn has built up a substantial lead, KFJ and Kaz have just been swept up by the avalanche and medibot looks not to far behind. Pokecapn then takes this opportunity to gloat:
  • Booksquirm from Mario Party 4.

pokecapn: Harry Potter and the Get Fucked!

Sonic Shuffle

Kung-Fu Jesus: Oh my God! We foiled Eggman's stupid plot!

  • ACCIDENT!
  • WHY DOES THIS GAME EXIST!
  • "I'm Amy!" "No, you're not!"
  • A mini Humiliation Conga for Kaz: The wing that he's on blows up out of nowhere, causing him to lose 30 Rings. Then KFJ uses a Madium to call all players to the space he's on, preventing Kaz from using the hammer space that was right in front of him. While this is happening, pokecapn is flipping out over the random explosion and KFJ is talking in a hilarious voice. It's alot funnier than it sounds.

Stupid Games Done For Money

"Now we're playing Sonic Two Thousand Numbers!

    • A lot of the funny comes from the other guys having to explain to Kaz that yes, Sonic really did have to balance on a big plastic ball in the original game, and yes, the boss fights were exactly that goofy and stupid.
  • Kaz going on a tirade during the Egg Wyvern battle in his Prof. Pickle voice. One guy proceeded to ask if he can read Harry Potter in the voice.
    • Not just a tirade, a tirade of the Surreal Comedy Stylings of Twitter spambot Horse_eBooks.
  • "Cats are about as smart as babies, right?"
  • The posse have a Kraft Cheesy Skillet meal. Medibot responds appropriately.

"Liquid GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD"!

Kung-Fu Jesus: Now you have to precision Wall Jump.
Kaz: (hyperventilating) Uhhhh, too scaryyyy...
Kung-Fu Jesus: I give you one, maybe two chances to fuck up.
pokecapn: What happens if you do?
Kaz: I die I die I die I die I die... (brave leap! ...onto false spikes and the escape tunnel) I chicken out!

Kung-Fu Jesus: What do you know, we have a donation. $5 from David, who says 'Sonic the Hedgehog causes existential despair.'
pokecapn: Three hundred dollars for 'OH GOD, STOP PLAYING.'

Sonic Generations

  • "Why is there a cutscene?" *Sonic shrugs* "And Sonic doesn't know either!"
  • Chekhov's Chili Dog:

Kaz: "C'mon cutscene, don't go all Chekhov's chili dog on us."

pokecapn: "So, at the end of the game he'll pop back out into his own world and then catch the chili dog!"

pokecapn: Who called it?
Kaz: Mother of shit.

  • Speeding through both acts of Green Hill Zone, and getting an S Rank in both...

pokecapn: ...I MAY have played a demo or two...

    • ...Only to get their first death seconds into Chemical Plant Zone Act 2.
  • The return of the horse alarm story.

Kaz: We (him and medibot) were gonna go be wizards together, but it was late at night, so we both slept. He woke me up with a horse.

medibot: I woke everyone up with a horse.

  • It's not an official LP episode, but... THIS happened in Speed Highway. The video name is even a nice callback to the American Sonic 3 manual.
  • In Modern Speed Highway:

pokecapn: WHO would put SAWBLADES in the MIDDLE of a GYM?

Kaz: ...you haven't been to a gym in a while, have you?

medibot: I have one of those in MY office!

  • In Classic Speed Highway, seeing a sign in the background which says "Chao Gelato: DELICIOUS!" which happens to be one of medibot's catch phrases.
  • Their reactions to the GUN Truck in both versions of City Escape, but especially Classic.

medibot: This is the angriest truck in the world!

  • pokecapn's multiple Epic Fails in Seaside Hill, especially him falling into the SAME spike trap THREE TIMES in Act 1.

pokecapn: Ah, fuck it, let's just go. *starts boosting through water, runs out halfway through* OH! OUT OF BOOST! *dies*

    • Pokecapn's multiple Big "No!"s when faced with the giant wheels at the end of Act 1, especially the one that follows Sonic around the loop.
    • Their reaction to Espio's appearance:

pokecapn: Let's see how they mangled his voice actor.
Espio: Thank you, my friend. Beware, for I have looked into the soul of our enemy and I saw only darkness.

pokecapn: ...they've made it FANTASTIC, it's what they've DONE!

    • YMMV on this, but when they were about to drown in act 1... They said "IT'S NO USE!" And they haven't even gotten to Crisis City yet, let alone Silver...
  • On the subject of Crisis City, the 10th episode in the LP ends with them having unlocked the final set of levels, each one from a game they've previously LP'd. There is absolute silence as they're shown. You can practically feel the Oh Crap at seeing Crisis City.
  • In Crisis City Classic there's pokecapn's reaction to the fire tornado dragging the goal post away

pokecapn: SHIT! NO! COME BACK!

    • And his lampshading of the obvious subtext of Blaze's speech:

Blaze: Sonic, I hope we can keep this slip up of mine just between the two of us, all right?
pokecapn: "This slip up of mine". Also known as "the entirety of Sonic the Hedgehog".

Sonic: Hey Sonic! Enjoy your future! It's gonna be great!
medibot: (bursts |into tears)

MyNameIsKaz: I'm gonna keep changing the parameters of my argument until I feel correct.
pokecapn: No.
medibot: What are you, Crisis City Classic? Moving the goalpost?

pokecapn: Yeah, if you want to move the goalpost, that was in the last video.

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