No Delays for the Wicked/Quotes

Vetinari: ...I'm sorry if this offends you, but you fellows really need us.
Vimes: Yes sir?

Vetinari: Oh yes, we're the only ones who know how to make things work. You see, the only thing the good people are good at is overthrowing the bad people. And you're good at that, I'll grant you. But the trouble is that's the only thing you're good at. One day it's the ringing of the bells and the casting down of the evil tyrant, and the next it's everyone sitting around complaining that ever since the tyrant was overthrown no one's been taking out the trash. Because the bad people know how to plan. It's part of the specification, you might say. Every evil tyrant has a plan to rule the world. The good people don't seem to have the knack.

—Guards! Guards!

Presumably one of the prerequisites of being employed by a mad billionaire with designs on global domination is that he has a gigantic logistics and fulfillment operation dedicated to ensuring that nothing is ever missing when it's needed.

—Bob Howard, The Jennifer Morgue

There was a huge, noisy mess involved with the final arrangements; all the healthy and wounded angels were required to report in at specific times to be counted or put into triage, and of course everyone wanted to be treated last, which caused an almighty clusterfuck for a good hour and a half. The demons were shuffled off to a holding area for consignment to Hell.

—Its Own Place

That's why they can never hope to win. Chaos sneaks in every time. They can cover the world in cameras, but they can't stop the guys in the monitor rooms from jerking off or playing the fifteenth sequel to "Doom" for the hundreth time.

—King Mob, The Invisibles