News Parody/Quotes

Alberto Gonzales, testifying before a Congressional committee, regarding unexplained dismissals of U.S. attorneys: "It would be pretty darn difficult if not impossible to make a decision for political reasons and expect to get away with it. You would probably hear about- we would probably read about it in the papers."
Jon Stewart: ...Yes, it probably would be in the newspapers. You might even be called before some governmental committee. Perhaps, uh, even mocked by some pissant faux newscaster.
*studio audience applause*

Jon Stewart: They're applauding because I'm... a pissant.

—The Daily Show