Never Speak Ill of the Dead/Quotes
He was very hard of hearing
He was dull and domineering
Misogynist, cantankerous and vain
He hit the bottle every night
He hit my grandma out of spite
And those stories about his bunions were a pain
But all that’s now forgotten once he took his final breath
Yes, even pricks turn into top blokes after death!
[...]
It's not how they live that counts, but how we rewrite the book
When it comes to truth, it's best to use restraint
It pays to throw away the facts and have a rose-coloured look
When he dies, Martin Bryant will look a saint!
[...]
Remember all will be forgotten once we take our final breeeeeeeeeath...
Yes, even pervert motherfuckers, even rampant child abusers, even local Baghdad looters, even baby bunny rooters,
Even reckless drunken drivers, even rodent sperm-imbibers, even violent poofter-bashers, even public penis-flashers,
Even rotting corpse molesters even human piss ingesters even tiny kitten-kickers even anal finger-lickers,
EVEN ANNA BLOODY COREN
YES, EVEN SHE
Will be a top bloke after death!
"τὸν τεθνηκóτα μὴ κακολογεῖν" (Let only good be spoken of the dead). [1]—Chilon of Sparta, one of the Seven Sages of Greece (circa 600 B.C.)
When someone dies thou shalt no longer be under obligation to cry saying 'he'll be missed' knowing good and well that he was an asshole.—"Posdnuos, Thou Shalt Always Kill" (De La Soul version)
Death makes the worst of men instantly respectable, you know.—Francis Cheviot, The Reluctant Widow
I was told only to speak good of the dead, Joan Crawford is dead....good!—Bette Davis (attributed)
- ↑ literally: "Don't badmouth a dead man."