Monkey Dust

Paedofinder General: So! You confess that for nine months you imprisoned a naked child in your stomach before forcing him backwards through your genitalia for your own sick amusement!

Monkey Dust is a British, edgy Dead Baby Comedy, animated TV show comprising of short sketches of recurring characters. It showed between 2003-2005.

Themes throughout the show deal with paedophilia, murders, drugs, gay cottages, suicides and advertising.

Notable characters include:

  • Ivan Dobsky: "The Meat Safe Murderer" a wrongly convicted man held in prison for ~25 years that has become completely dependent on the prison's rules, structure and brutality. Once released with the mental age of a four year old he's unable to adapt to the changes since the 1970s and is confused by the new currency and fashions and so turns to his old friend "Mr. Hoppy" (a space hopper) for advice which almost always results in a murder and being back in prison.
  • Divorced dad (with Timmy): Divorced father gets custody of his son for the night and tries to impress and please Timmy with his outdated knowledge of this son. Timmy will then go into a long list of why Roger (his mother's new boyfriend) is so great. Ends with the father committing suicide shorty before Timmy admits that he really loves his dad and Roger isn't that great after all. Also Roger is implied to be Timmy's biological father.
  • Internet Paedophile: Where an old, heavy smoking man attempts to lure a young girl to meet up to him under the guise of 13-year-old Benji. Often he doesn't get the latest slang and lets slip his true age. He eventually meets up with the young girl who turns out to be another paedophile.
  • Geoff the first-time cottager: For those not in a the know a "cottage" is a public toilet where homosexuals meet for unattached sexual encounters, like oral. Geoff is a bit nervous about the whole "sucking off another man's cock" for the first time.
  • Omar, Abdul and Shafiq, the incompetent terrorists: A group of British born Muslims intent on bringing death to the infidels and to the decadent west. However the young bombers seem more interested in sports and TV programs than blowing themselves up.
  • The Classically Trained Actor: An everyday man called Guy who has the monotone voice and speech of a voice-over or a phone-answering-machine (even while having sex, being drunk, or angry). He usually does voiceovers too, but is often forced to do mini-cabbing because of financial reasons. He is married, and has two friends, one who does Sugar Bowl voiceovers in children's shows, and an old guy who does suspense-voices, like the "It was his destiny..." voice-over in western movies.

"Random caller": (angry after being misunderstood by the answering 'machine' several times and kept in a waiting loop for the whole evening) Listen, can I just talk to a real fucking person?!
"Guy": I, am, a, real, fucking, person.

  • The Paedofinder General: A parody of The Witchfinder General where a man dressed in a cloak and a pointy hat goes around convicting potential paedophiles on little grounds and with no authority. Often a Take That against the British media, especially the tabloids.
  • Noodles the Rabbit: a fairly transparent Bugs Bunny Expy hired by a biochemicals company to test chemicals on, since his Amusing Injuries always heal instantly, letting them use him again, and again, and again.
  • Clive: A man who is always late home and uses the plots of famous fictional stories as an excuse for his wife. Eventually he gives in and admits the truth, which is always some revoltingly degrading and over-the-top sexual practice.
  • David Baddiel: he resents the implication that as a famous comedian he's any less qualified to perform any given task than a trained professional.
Tropes used in Monkey Dust include:

"I only said I done it so they would call off the monkey tattooist."

  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: The Tony Blair segments in Series 3, where he makes various outrageous promises, on the lines of "A fluffy kitten for every small child, with a pink bow. Named Mittens. ... Everyone's neighbors to be Tom and Barbara, out of The Good Life ... The blind to see and the lame to walk ... Pubs that stay open after eleven."
  • Art Shift: Several different animation companies worked on different sketches so the Art Style shifts with each new sketch.
  • Author Existence Failure: The show stopped because of Harry Thompson's deeath.
  • Bad Liar: Clive.
    • Try "So outrageously bad that he gives Baron Munchausen a run for his money".
  • Bathroom Stall Graffiti Which notably gets the First Time Cottager in trouble with the trading standards agency.
  • Berserk Button: Don't try and seperate Ivan Dobsky from Mr. Hoppy. Unless you have a death wish.
  • Black Comedy: It rivals South Park in terms of how dark it can get.
  • Bloody Hilarious
  • Britain Is Only London Subverted and parodied by the sketch Curtisland, which mocks films like Notting Hill and Bridget Jones' Diary for presenting hyper idealised images of Britain.
    • Also parodied in the "Essex Man/London Man" sketches, where two identical men argue over the respective merits of Essex and London. The joke is that due to London "overspill" into neighbouring Essex, most of the UK considers them to be pretty much part of a whole.
  • Convicted by Public Opinion The whole point of the Paedofinder General.
  • Conspicuous CGI
  • Crapsack World The scenes where Clive slowly walks home through the decaying streets of modern Britain are so monumentally depressing they make the most cheerful of viewers suicidal.
    • The back-cover of the DVD actually refers to it as a "twilight-shrouded nightmare world".
  • Crap Saccharine World: The intro presents modern-day Britain as this.
    • Curtisland, as mentioned above, also counts.
  • The Crusades: see it here
  • Darker and Edgier: Series 3, almost impossibly, manages this to a certain extent. A lot of the material is more overtly satirical, and much gorier.
  • Dead Baby Comedy
  • Department of Redundancy Department: "There's some momma's son out there, cryin' for his momma!"
  • E=MC Hammer: Seen on the board when Geoff takes a Cottaging 101 class.
  • Eagle Land: There are some magnificent examples of what British people think of Americans.
  • Evil Brit: Seen in the parodies of Hollywood films, notably with a very British Hitler whose location is 'The British Reich'.
  • Fish Out of Temporal Water: Ivan Dobsky, from being stuck in prison since the 70's and then suddenly released because the verdict was overturned in light of DNA evidence proving he never done it.
  • Gorn
  • Harmless Villain: Omar, Abdul and Shafiq, the incompetent terrorists
  • Hey, It's That Voice!: Guinevere? Is that you?
    • The "Classically Trained Actor" is voiced by Peter Dickson, AKA The E4 Man. Crikey!
  • Keep Circulating the Tapes: Only series 1 is available on DVD so other methods have to be employed to watch the other series.
  • Le Film Artistique: Jean Boileau's Le Chapeau Du Mon Oncle
  • Mail Order Bride: A series of sketches focus on a mail order bride who loves all her husband's interests, but is kicked out when she reveals she wants fall in love before having sex.
  • Oireland : Occurs in the Hollywood parody films complete with Leprechaun outfits.
    • Done best in the Diary of Anne Frank parody, in which the Hollywood studio turns Jews into Irish, and Nazis into the British. Featuring the line "Ah, we Jews like the craic too much" and Hitler as a Camp Gay Brit who actuall calls the Nazi's "The British Reich".
      • Let's not forget "Patrick O'Dobsky" being sent to jail by the King of England...who's apparently Richard III
  • Paedo Hunt: The Paedofinder General. Also, the sketch about a literally Paedohunting mob that happens to be completely bereft of competency.
    • Though the man they randomly select as a paedophile based on the fact that he's...wearing a hat...turns out to actually "Quite fancy (His) 15 year old niece"
  • Psychic Powers: Alex, the girl in the club who looks into the souls of guys she talks to, may either have these or just a hyperactive imagination.
  • Reality Ensues: The death of the scientist who has been experimenting on Noodles episode after episode is treated in a very realistic manner, including the shock and grief of his colleagues.
  • Real Song Theme Tune: An instrumental version of That's Not Really Funny by Eels.
  • The Renfield: Has a cameo--named 'Renfield', no less!--in Episode 11.
  • Retirony: Shows up in the Jerry Brickhammer films "The Crusades" and "They All Come Home", where the same Mook is (respectively) "gonna come home to that farm in Iowa with the wife and Junior [who's on the way]" and "I'm getting married in the morning."
  • Running Gag: Each set of sketches has this to some extent.
  • Shout-Out: To Brass Eye in the Dr Fox sketch of the first series finale. Also, the Paedofinder General takes his name from The Witchfinder General, a 1968 film starring Vincent Price.
  • Slow-Loading Internet Image: Used when a pervert was trying to get an image to masturbate to, but it turned out that the young girl he was talking to had just sent a picture of her pet rabbit.
  • Snap Back
  • Station Ident: Mocked (of course) by two men dressed in red having anal sex while the announcer proudly states over the backing of up-beat classical music "You're watching BBC 1".
  • Token Minority: Lafayette, the one black guy in "The Crusades".
    • Whether intentional or not (but seeing as they generally do their research, it is) the colour he wears is a real flag; a white cross on a black flag. It's the county flag of Cornwall.
  • Toon Physics: Deconstructed with Noodles, who is used for animal experimentation. The ultimate deconstruction comes in his last appearance where he graphically crushes the chief scientist's head, killing him and orphaning his children.
  • Uncle Tomfoolery: "Mister Skatey", from the film version of Ivan Dobsky's life.

Mister Skatey: Sheeit! We in the white man honkey prison! Sheeeit, motherfucker!

  • Vitriolic Best Buds: The London/Essex guys. We see them sharing a bed in the Nocturne for S 2 E 1.
  • Where Were You Last Night?: Turned into a recurring gag with Clive, a character who disappears from his wife for extended amounts of time (usually an evening, sometimes as long as years) and, when questioned as to his whereabouts repeats the plot of a film, book or (in one memorable episode) nursery rhyme. The actual explanation is typically something immensely revolting, humiliating and sexual.
  • X In Space: Some of the running-gags are taken here--the cab-driver in Series 2 literally goes to the third moon of Jupiter.
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